Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

[Tiggie]

hiya!

it's funny you bring this up cos i've often wondered about this myself. i'm anorexic and wonder if BDD isn't closely related to anorexia since as an anorexic i can't stand the sight of my body at all, despite the reassurances of ppl in my life that i'm beautiful and not a fat disgusting pig.

the docs haven't ever told me I'm BDD but i sometimes wonder if the 2 don't overlap sometimes...

 

[inHisgripkim]

hiya!

it's funny you bring this up cos i've often wondered about this myself. i'm anorexic and wonder if BDD isn't closely related to anorexia since as an anorexic i can't stand the sight of my body at all, despite the reassurances of ppl in my life that i'm beautiful and not a fat disgusting pig.

the docs haven't ever told me I'm BDD but i sometimes wonder if the 2 don't overlap sometimes...

Oh Yes, they do overlap. Michael Jackson had Body Dysmorphic Disorder. The difference being that BDD sufferers focus on one part of the anatomy (eyebrows, hair, nosehair, forehead and even the body itself). I watch my weight, but I do not starve myself. My focus isn't on being fat anymore. I stay fit and keep my weight down. I don't get on scales. I gauge my weight by the things I wear. If they start getting tight, then I know that I need to watch the calories and the time I eat. My focus is eating healthy so I consume very healthy foods. Often blend my meals into a smoothie for easier digestion.

Primary focus of my BDD is my face and when I act out I cut my hair off. I have sometimes buzzed it off. I have worn wigs for over 10 years. I wear alot of hats so I don't have to fuss with my hair. Right now my hair is growing out, and I fight the urge to cut. So far, God has kept me from relapsing. If and when I do, I just press on because I've been through this for over 10 years. I have learned to live with it. My focus is to overcome the urge to cut. Staying focused on the Lord and blowing off concerns of this world has been my source of strength. I will one day beat this urge to cut all in God's timing. When He wills it, it shall happen. Amen.

Don't take on the concepts and images of this world. They are destructive. The world's concept of beauty is distorted and not true. God's image is truth. You and I were made by Him in His image the way he wanted us to be. That is sheer beauty. God is truth. His image is truth.

Poo Poo the world and stay in the Lord. That's what I do these days.

Much love and understanding,
Kim

 

[inHisgripkim]

Hey. I have never been diagnosed with BDD but I have major issues with myself. I hated my body so my eating disorder took hold. I have issues with my nose too. Like when i talk to people, i always face them a certain way so my nose looks ok. During class, I usually cover my nose somehow. I do a lot of other things too.

What part of your body does your BDD pertain to?

Have a good week ok.

Well. . . .the focus was my forehead, but has manged to span out to my face in general. When I am feeling icky or dealing with stress in my life, the view of my face becomes distorted. I transfer icky feeling to my face so I see myself as ugly. To try and fix it , I cut my hair and keep cutting and cutting till there is nothing left to cut.

I wear alot of wigs and hats. Right now I am winning the battle. Been a long time coming, but I have pursued the Lord and in so doing, I have left this world and its concepts and definitions behind. Beauty is who we are not what we look like. God made us the way he wanted us to be and that is sheer beauty. The way men define beauty in women is so distorted and removed from God. I stay in truth now. I stay in God and not men.

Godly love to all of you battling these afflictions,
Kim

 

[inHisgripkim]

I have OCD and I tend to obsess over everything... I haven't officially been diagnosed with BDD but the first time I heard of it was when a psychologist told me about it because she believes I have it... then after reading more about it, I definitely had what people consider BDD. There were times where my body/face would change shape in front of the mirror, things that I always thought looked normal or even good about me would suddenly look horrific and deformed. Once my face, to me, looked like I'd had some kind of stroke and one side of it was drooping. Now I'm kind of in a... new stage when it comes to BDD because I'm quite comfortable with the way I look now, and things that I would see as shocking and looking like a monster just look like mild "flaws" that don't bother me much anymore. But, on the down side, I don't enjoy being more comfortable with my looks because my obsession switched to fear of getting extremely old and losing my looks etc. It can appear shallow to people who haven't been through this, but it eats at me and sometimes I cry all day because of the obsession and the thoughts and horrible feelings that come with it. I can understand how you feel because I know what it's like to have BDD attacks and be in a total panic and you can't believe what you're seeing in the mirror, you feel like all that exists is you and the mirror and that the rest of the world outside your room doesn't even exist because you're just so consumed with your reflection... it can be horrible.

O my goodness, I know exactly what you are going through. Have fought all of it for sooooo long. You have a head start because you have caught it early. If we stare at anything long enough and thinking negative thoughts behind that stare, you can bet the image you are looking at will become distorted. Don't stare. Don't fix your eyes on your face for any great length of time. Do what you got to do in the mirror and then move on. Mirror isn't meant to scrutinize all those little things that we think are flaws. The image in the mirror is God made. Keep that in mind.

I have learned that this world has distorted our views of ourself and the concept of beauty is the worst of the distortions. Man's defintion of beauty in women is distorted, destructive, and oprressive. It is a lie.

We are of God's kingdom and that is where we need to keep our focus. Find God's definition of beauty and develop that concept and let it grow within you. He made us the way he wanted us. You are a perfect image of God. That is beauty. Utter beauty. This is the way our thinking needs to be. - not of this world, but of God's kingdom.

God Bless all,
Kim

 

[inHisgripkim]

Hello everyone,

I was searching for some answers on google and found your website... My wife is going through a similar situation... She is getting very frustrated b/c she has been going through this for almost 20 years..

She cuts hear hair, to make it even and ends up cutting more and more... she spends a lot of time in the bathroom and will never let me in there when she is performing this ritual... I was wondering if anyone lives in the DC/VA/MD area and can suggest a good psychiatrist/therapist etc.... or tell me what worked best for you...

Thank you sooo much for your help!

Elijah

Hi Elijah:

I posted in your thread starter on hair cutting. When your wife won't let you in, its becaue she is in the middle of the obscessing which is very intense. Once I am in the middle of it, it takes a bulldozer to get me out of the bathroom. Your wife will lock the door out of shame issues and utter frustration.

 

[Tiggie]

thanks for the explanation! it's a lot clearer to me now!!

i really hope God delivers you permanantly from your BDD. i'm sure you have great hair!!!!! and hey- God put it there so it's gotta be better than a wig, right???

take care!!!

 

[Ketsagirl]

Inhisgripkim, Sorry it took so long for me to respond. I took some time away to deal with some of my stuff. I have beagn to see a great therapist. She rocks. Helps me mentally, physically, and spiritually. I have had to completely stop all med's. Because of some new diagnoses. She has been researching everything and I need to get the old med's out to start the new. Wich causes things to magnify. I know that I will make it through all of the bad and ugly. This week as been a little better. I will talk about what I can it's hard sometimes. And if you wanted to pm or chat that would be fine to. I want to quit mopeing and start coping. Others ideas could help.

kim I too have this problem. For the last year i cant quit obsessively cutting my hair. then i shaved it all. freak, i look like sinead oconnor. i am sad.

 

[inHisgripkim]

kim I too have this problem. For the last year i cant quit obsessively cutting my hair. then i shaved it all. freak, i look like sinead oconnor. i am sad.

Hi to you Sista:

You put on those hats and scarfs and in a few months you hair will grow back. One thing about the hair cutting, your hair does grow back. Wear the hats so you don't have to fuss with the hair.

I wear hats even though my hair has grown out from the last time I buzzed it. I want it to grow longer, so I wear the hats so I don't put any energy into styling my hair or looking at it. It really helps.

I am also aware of what triggers the cutting. It's pretty much the same issue over and over. It really isn't about looks. It's about a fear I have. Its that fear that I haven't been able to triumph over. I will. Give me time. I will conquer it. You will too.

If you have any questions feel fee to pm me. I'm really open about my issues. I have lived with them so long. I'm here for you any way you need.

Don't be sad. It's frustrating. But as I told Tiggie, half the battle is won when we accept our affliction and learn to live with it. Through acceptance we don't feel all those negative feelings when we relapse. As a result, we end alot of the struggle and strife and the relapsing becomes less and less.

I'm here my sister. Take care, keep your chin up. Dont' give up.

lol kim