Blonde Jokes

[EspressoDuck]

I have heard a slightly different version of that one-

How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to pee in the corner of a round room.
How do they confuse you?
When they come back and tell you they did.

Hope that didnt offend anyone......

 

[Mistyfogg]

ahhhh, blonde jokes. so many of them. and they all make me laugh

 

[hanaya]

A blonde dyed her hair brown and was driving through the country when she came across a shepard and this flock of sheep. She got out of the car and walked over to the shepard.
"If I can guess how many sheep you have can I keep one?" she asked him.
"Sure," he replied, knowing that there were two many sheep to count.
The "brunette" thought for a moment, looking at the sheep.
"236" she guessed.
"That's right" the shepard said, amazed.
As the "brunette" and her prize walked back to the car, the shepard called out to her, "Hey, if I can guess your natural hair colour, can I have my dog back?"

-Hanaya

 

[Tini]

A blonde arrives at a river and is trying to figure out how to get to the other side. She thinks for a while and then notices another blonde on the other side. She calls out, "Hi there. How can I get to the other side of the river?"
The second blonde thinks for a while, looks up and down the river and then replies in a very puzzled voice. "Why - you are already on the other side!"

 

[munkie]

how do you kill a blonde?????
put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool

old i know

 

[munkie]

What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brunette??

artificial intelligence

 

[Soulfire]

How does a blond try to kill a fish?
Trys to drown it

 

[Soulfire]

How does a blond try to kill a bird?
Trys to throw it off a cliff

 

[TheRickster]

Did you hear about the 6 blondes that walked into a building...?


You would have thought that at least one of them would have see it

 

[Periann]

There was a girl who had been in an accident. The doctors told her family that if she were to survive they would need a brain because she needed a brain transplant. The brain had to come within the next few hours. If it didnt, she would die. Finally, at the eleventh hour the doctors came in and told the family their news, We have two brains that are available for transplant! Her family was overjoyed, and quickly asked what the regular prices were for brains. The doctors looked at each other and admitted, we have the brain of a blonde and brunette. The blonde's brain is worth $1500 and the brunnettes is worth $200. The family was stunned by the price difference. Finally someone blurted out the question that was echoing in all their minds..."Why is the blonde's brain worth so much more?"

The doctor's replied, well you see...the brunette's is actually used, and we had to figure that into the price!!!

Hehe, I converted this from a man/woman joke to a blonde one.

 

[Tenorvoice]

how can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer---whiteout all over the screen

what do you call a burnette between two blondes--interpreter

if a blonde and a red head jump out of an airplane which one hits the ground first? the red head, the blonde has to stop for directions

lol

 

[Miss Mayberry]

There was a brunette walking down the highway alone. She is chanting "66, 66, 66...". A blonde notices and joins her. "Why are you saying '68' over and over?" asked the blonde. "Cuz it's fun!" replied the brunette. The blonde began chanting as they walked along. "It's more fun in the middle of the road, " said the brunette. The blonde says, "Oh!" and walks out in the middle of the road saying '68' all the while. Suddenly, a giant semi-truck comes and runs over the blonde. The brunette walks away saying '67, 67, 67..."

 

[ChristianTeen]

There is a blonde, a brunette, and a red head on the top of the building that is on fire. There are firemen on the ground with a blanket. They tell the brunette to jump. She does and they move the blanket and she falls on the ground and dies. Then they tell the red head to jump. She hesitates but they say, "We like red heads don't worry." So she jumps and also dies. Then it is the blonde's turn. She says, "I'm not stupid! You put the blanket on the ground, then I'll jump!"

 

[Periann]

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who were facing execution. They lined the redhead up by the target, cocked the pistol, and started counting...one,two, three...but before they could shoot the redhead screamed TORNADO! Everyone ran for cover and in all the confusion the redhead managed to escape. The brunette was next in line, they started counting, 1, 2, 3, but before they could shoot her the brunette screamed FLOOD!!! And among all the ensuing confusion the brunette managed to escape her sentence. THen finally, the blonde stepped up to the target wall, her executor started counting....1, 2, 3....and the blonde screamed FIRE!!

Get it??

 

[Jesusfrk4life77]

12 o'clock news:
There was a blonde and a brunette watchin the 12 o'clock news one night! The cover story was about a man who was standin on top of a buildin and was threatenin to jump! a commercial came on and the brunette turned to the blonde and said. 'ill bet u $5 that the man jumps' the blonde thinks about it and agrees. The news came back on and it turns out the man did jump! As the blonde was pullin out the money the brunette said, 'wait! I dont feel right...i saw the 5 o'clock news and i knew he was gonna jump' the blonde looked puzzled at her and replied, 'well, i did 2 but i didnt think he would jump again!'

58 Dayz:
2 brunette friends walked into a breakfast place one day. Over in one of the booths they heard 2 blondes chanting '58 dayz, 58 dayz, 58 dayz!' they were somewhat puzzled! As the minutes went on more and more blondes came in and the chanting got louder...'58 dayz, 58 dayz, 58 dayz, 58 dayz!' After about 5 min of that another blonde came in and set a puzzle in a picture frame on the counter and all the blondes began cheering! Now it was louder than ever and so the 2 brunettes went over there and asked them, 'why do yall keep sayin 58 dayz~' The blondes looked at each other and finally one spoke up and simply replied, 'The puzzle box sayz 2 to 4 years but we finished it in 58 dayz!!!'

Gosh...i luv blonde jokes!....1 more....

What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common~
U alwayz hear about em but u never see one!

 

[Diakonos]

LOL!!!

Two blondes were walking along the beach. One said to the other, "awww, look at the poor dead bird". The other one looked up in the sky and said "where, where?"

Funny!!!

 

[Koryu]

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who were facing execution. They lined the redhead up by the target, cocked the pistol, and started counting...one,two, three...but before they could shoot the redhead screamed TORNADO! Everyone ran for cover and in all the confusion the redhead managed to escape. The brunette was next in line, they started counting, 1, 2, 3, but before they could shoot her the brunette screamed FLOOD!!! And among all the ensuing confusion the brunette managed to escape her sentence. THen finally, the blonde stepped up to the target wall, her executor started counting....1, 2, 3....and the blonde screamed FIRE!!

Get it??

I've never heard this one...its funny!!

 

[Johnboy60]

Hi, Could these pictures below be blondes?


Thanks, Robert.

 

[Jesusfrk4life77]

O MY GOSH THAT IS HILARIOUS! hahahahaha! funny!