Bitterness on both sides

[KarrieTex]

Hmm, I think I am tired of all the fluffy threads. Let's get to some meat.

Ladies....

How many times have you heard a boy call you bitter because you stand by your view?

Gents....

What is wrong with the members of your handsome sex that do this? There are some lovely men who have great hearts and views out there. I just don't get these little boys.

Why is it that I as a mature, independent, and confident woman be called bitter because I state a view and stand by it?

Perhaps we are blind to this attitude since I see it on both sides.

Gents...how does this make you feel to hear that?

 

[Gimpy]

I really dont see uch bitterness here on CF at all with only a few exceptions and that includes some boys or men.
Myself, I consider myself, I could be wrong since I may be overly subjective about myself, as a person who can balance opinions fairly well.
That said, I have a joke I heard recently, I hope you think its funny,
There are two theories for arguing with women. Neither of them work.

 

[KarrieTex]

I really dont see uch bitterness here on CF at all with only a few exceptions and that includes some boys or men.
Myself, I consider myself, I could be wrong since I may be overly subjective about myself, as a person who can balance opinions fairly well.
That said, I have a joke I heard recently, I hope you think its funny,
There are two theories for arguing with women. Neither of them work.

Gimpy you are too funny!!

To be honest I am seeing it more and more in the younger boys...and girls.

 

[Jenster]

Hi Karrie!

I think any name-calling comes from a place of weakness, not strength. Calling someone "bitter" doesn't really do anything, you know? The constructive person, however, will either try to engage the person with whom they disagree in a conversation or they will not reply at all.

Labeling another person is easy. Understanding them, or at least making the attempt, takes maturity.

Eh, I guess it's more satisfying (in the short -- and short-sighted -- term) to say, "There's something wrong with you!"

I heard a speaker this weekend who said that every person has "deep waters." We tend to dismiss others rather than looking for the depth that God has placed in them. If we looked for deep waters, we might be more compassionate.

 

[soccerdad66]

Hi KarrieTex,

I would like to say it happens to men as well.

Maturity certainly is an issue. We equate age with maturity and wisdom, but that's not always the case.

Consider the male perspective too. Feminism has had an effect on men in our society. Example: I got chewed out for offering my seat on the bus to a lady. That's just one example, there's more. I know that these were individuals, but it's easy to create labels as a whole when that happens over and over.

They are many great men and women who don't deserve how they are being labeled, but it happens, and it's not going to change, we need to ask ourselves, how do we respond to these people?

I think it's great you stand by your view. Some people think everyone needs have the same opinion, but even some of the greatest theological minds can't agree.

The other thing, it may not be what you say, but how you say it, and/or how it's taken.

I didn't want to make this too long winded, oh well.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Hmm, I think I am tired of all the fluffy threads. Let's get to some meat.

Ladies....

How many times have you heard a boy call you bitter because you stand by your view?

Gents....

What is wrong with the members of your handsome sex that do this? There are some lovely men who have great hearts and views out there. I just don't get these little boys.

Why is it that I as a mature, independent, and confident woman be called bitter because I state a view and stand by it?

Perhaps we are blind to this attitude since I see it on both sides.

Gents...how does this make you feel to hear that?

Hi Karrie!

I've never had anyone label me as bitter for standing by my view. I'm sorry if you've had that happen to you...it really did have more to do with them than with you...

I'm also a very strong woman who stands by her beliefs but I try to temper that strength with the understanding that not everyone agrees with me...not sure why they don't because I'm always right...LOL! Just kidding!

I think it is about mutual respect. There is a way to present a differing opinion without it turning into a personal attack. I've experienced 1 or 2 people on the boards who don't seem to have developed their "mutual respect" gene very well yet! but I've come to realize that if I treat people with respect and they fail to do the same in return then it has to do with them and their inability to handle conflict/frustration/anger...or a lot of times their reaction comes from a place of hurt and pain...it usually has very little to do with me and my point of view on a topic.

Hi KarrieTex,

I would like to say it happens to men as well.

Maturity certainly is an issue. We equate age with maturity and wisdom, but that's not always the case.

Consider the male perspective too. Feminism has had an effect on men in our society. Example: I got chewed out for offering my seat on the bus to a lady. That's just one example, there's more. I know that these were individuals, but it's easy to create labels as a whole when that happens over and over.

They are many great men and women who don't deserve how they are being labeled, but it happens, and it's not going to change, we need to ask ourselves, how do we respond to these people?

I think it's great you stand by your view. Some people think everyone needs have the same opinion, but even some of the greatest theological minds can't agree.

The other thing, it may not be what you say, but how you say it, and/or how it's taken.

I didn't want to make this too long winded, oh well.

Hi soccerdad66!

I agree...I think that men are often time the targets of women's misdirected independence...did that make sense? LOL!

I think sometimes women are so bent on showing that they don't need help from anyone that they miss the fact that sometimes a man is just trying to be nice.

By the way, I personally love it when a guy offers me his seat...so I think what you did was awesome!!!

I also agree that the only thing we can control is our reaction to people who either label us incorrectly or misunderstand a genuine display of caring...