Bitter truth? Input from others with my faith is appreciated

[Lifeinmotion]

Is everything ok?, Yeah, why?
“I really didn’t think much of it, after all it was quite normal for me to give such a vague response. “
Alright if you ever need anything just let me know.
“Back to this!?, again?,. Any kind of attempt that I make eventually fails. I am well aware that nothing will last forever. Well, physically speaking nothing lasts forever. I along with the rest of the world have been taught different. They say everything has an ‘Expiration date, an End, a Service life, Death.’ A length of time that is to be determined by many factors. Animate or inanimate seems like the best way to divide these, yet there have been lives lived much less than that of a car. The process in which this ‘thing’ was made can’t be the line. Although many inanimate objects are made to be the same or similar to a competitor. Two people can have same life styles, backgrounds, even traits. Still the two have no clue when life will end. An end to which we see as ‘The Beginning’. The start of a new life, to be born?, or to move on?. The end one ‘thing’ is what’s thought to be important. The worth of ones life determined by its end. I see the world around me, alive breathing, yearning to keep the cycle going as long as it can. Something deeper calls beyond the noise, my sight , my sense blocked. With no way of knowing where it’s calling from. Every attempt is surly followed by my failure. Failures that cut deep into my life. My family, my friends, my own mind. Cutting away, the pages that tell my story. Only to reveal the true monster inside, the freak!! Condemnation??, fighting all my life. I’ve been taught to trust. Belief in a higher power. God. The one who created man, in turn creating everything man has made. Making the decision to give his only son’s life for the salvation of Man. WE!, have faith salvation is everyone. Still life goes on. People dying, babies born in a world that is more alive than a virus destroying the life of one. A world moving across a vast empty space with its own family. Not knowing but living, doing what it must because it must. Renewing its surface with what we see as destruction. Our lives threatened, damaged by the life of our planet. Made to shelter and keep the creation of God, this earth moving as it should. Passing on seasons, giving each life a chance to live to breath and eventually a chance to die. The only way to describe this end, the grief of ones child burying their parents. A bond broken with an empty response, silence in everything you grew to love and hate with love. There has never there been a time in my life where my faith in God and the salvation of man be tested. A life living only to be condemned into darkness. Saved from death, and exiled. Impossible as it seems, for God nothing is impossible. ‘Worship, praise, believe, and connect’ actions to be made and made in vain? My sin will drag me to hell, my knowledge will give me peace in knowing He IS there. Accepting a life in darkness is what lies before me.’To save to ones I hold dear’ until it’s said. ‘Salvation is individual’. God’s son came to die for our sins so that we may not. In turn making my salvation the most selfish act I can ever commit. ‘Renounce your God so that they may believe’. Impossible seems like an impossibility. What was once true is now a lie and what was once a lie is now a life. Still life moves on in such a way that this known fact, a thought lingering around our life. Taught to confess our sins, I take action. ‘Action’s of sexually immorality, lying, stealing, deceitful manipulation’ amount the least of these Rape, molestation’ I have single handedly created my life. ‘A child with no knowledge of this life beyond the noise, my sight, and senses’. Still life moves on, as if I never made those actions. Hurting anything around I walk in agony. Sin free becomes apparent. A life made to glorify God. Light shining from a single focal point. ‘SINNER’. Is my name among others, I have been marked. Different than others. Marked none the less.

 

[Tanj]

A pretty reasonable stream of consciousness, But it doesn't get top marks because there are a number of analogies that make no sense and detract from the whole. I'm going to go with 7/10.

 

[Lifeinmotion]

A pretty reasonable stream of consciousness, But it doesn't get top marks because there are a number of analogies that make no sense and detract from the whole. I'm going to go with 7/10.

If I may ask which analogies are you talking about?

 

[Tanj]

If I may ask which analogies are you talking about?

Well, a couple of examples:

Failures that cut deep into my life. My family, my friends, my own mind. Cut away, like a piece of paper.

"cut deep" raises very different images to cutting paper. These images are antagonistic.

babies being born in a world more alive than that virus destroying the life of one

Usually this kind of construct declares concept A, which is generally agreed to be below concept B instead being above it. For example, "an imagined world more real than the one outside" . However babies are fully accepted by everyone to be more alive than a virus. As such the cadence is interrupted.

 

[Lifeinmotion]

Well, a couple of examples:


"cut deep" raises very different images to cutting paper. These images are antagonistic.



Usually this kind of construct declares concept A, which is generally agreed to be below concept B instead being above it. For example, "an imagined world more real than the one outside" . However babies are fully accepted by everyone to be more alive than a virus. As such the cadence is interrupted.

Thank you for your help I changed a couple things.

“Still life goes on. People dying, babies born in a world that is more alive than a virus destroying the life of one.”

Also I changed “cut away, like a piece of paper”
“Cutting away, the pages that tell my story.”

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

The realisation that a person receives that he or she is a condemned sinner without hope is a revelation to that person by the Holy Spirit. It is called the conviction of sin. It is what caused people to hold on to the pews and pillars of the church during Jonathan Edwards' sermon "Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God", because they were terrified that they were going to fall into hell at any moment.

But conviction of sin, makes the Good News of the Gospel very attractive to those who are under the conviction of sin. Conviction of sin is not a light thing. It can terrify a person and give them a deep sense of the wrath and anger of God that will come upon them if they remain in their sins.

Conviction of sin and the sense of hopeless condemnation, will drive a person to Christ like nothing else can, especially when that person realises that Christ is his or her only hope of salvation. A person under the conviction of sin does not lightly say, "What will I be saved from?" because they will know quite clearly that it is salvation, through Christ, from an eternity in hell.

Conviction of sin is like being held over hell and be given a clear vision of what the sinner's future will be if he or she does not accept God's gracious invitation to receive Christ as Saviour. It will give force and intention for that person to plead for Christ to fully convert and transform them so that they will receive assurance of salvation. They will not be content with just "getting religion", they will cry out for total acceptance by Christ.

The problem is easy believerism, which produces many backsliders, is that too many are invited to accept Christ without going through the stage of intense conviction of sin. But intense conviction of sin and condemnation for sin will produce very strong and permanent converts to Christ, to be sure!

 

[Loyce KG]

I believe someone can be condemned and know it.
John 16;18 says that the Holyspirit convicts the world of sin. Conviction

The realisation that a person receives that he or she is a condemned sinner without hope is a revelation to that person by the Holy Spirit. It is called the conviction of sin. It is what caused people to hold on to the pews and pillars of the church during Jonathan Edwards' sermon "Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God", because they were terrified that they were going to fall into hell at any moment.

But conviction of sin, makes the Good News of the Gospel very attractive to those who are under the conviction of sin. Conviction of sin is not a light thing. It can terrify a person and give them a deep sense of the wrath and anger of God that will come upon them if they remain in their sins.

Conviction of sin and the sense of hopeless condemnation, will drive a person to Christ like nothing else can, especially when that person realises that Christ is his or her only hope of salvation. A person under the conviction of sin does not lightly say, "What will I be saved from?" because they will know quite clearly that it is salvation, through Christ, from an eternity in hell.

Conviction of sin is like being held over hell and be given a clear vision of what the sinner's future will be if he or she does not accept God's gracious invitation to receive Christ as Saviour. It will give force and intention for that person to plead for Christ to fully convert and transform them so that they will receive assurance of salvation. They will not be content with just "getting religion", they will cry out for total acceptance by Christ.

The problem is easy believerism, which produces many backsliders, is that too many are invited to accept Christ without going through the stage of intense conviction of sin. But intense conviction of sin and condemnation for sin will produce very strong and permanent converts to Christ, to be sure!

I agree. The Holyspirit acts as the cross-examiner of the sinner vs God and this happens at the point when one has a revelation of the glory of God. Example Isaiah 6;5 "am a man of unclean lips...my eyes have seen the LORD almighty". Inevitably, where there is conviction one is aware of their damnation without salvation (which is condemnation). This is how true repentance comes about at the point of conversion for sinners and why the truly saved are sheep not goats.

 

[Lifeinmotion]

Thank you I totally agree with what you had to say. Through out my life in my faith I’ve experienced how Awesome God can be. From keeping me alive (thoughts of suicide quickly turn into thoughts of not giving up) to helping me with my addiction to drugs. Unfortunately, my drug use has had its toll on my mental health. Constantly hearing a voice telling me that I have no hope and to renounce God because he doesn’t want me. As great and powerful God’s presence has presented itself to my life. My thoughts have become very disruptive. Thinking that I am actually talking to another person through my mind is one of them. As real as my mind would like it to be. I have always heard another voice telling me to stop, not as a command but as if by letting me know that I am doing something unhealthy. I’ve kept my faith strong by reading the Word of God. Honestly it’s kept me from believing in the lie that God doesn’t want me in heaven with him. Living in sin isn’t my goal. But living a life that will be worthy enough to say that God is Greater than the sins I have committed and more powerful than drugs I’ve done. I don’t know if I will go through this the rest of my life, but I do know that I will keep getting back up after a backslide. Again thank you for your wisdom. I know God will keep giving me the strength to say that God is the only one above everything, and confessing his son as the one and only savior.