Birth Control Pills AND...

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I kinda hinted on this in the other forms of contraception thread.

I use the BCP whilst unmarried, for reasons OTHER than contraception (to keep my cycle regular and reduce PMS, amongst other reasons). My bf and I wish to keep using this for contraception after we are married, however due to my bf's MAJOR pregnancy scares in his past sexual relationships, is not all that keen on being reliant on them ONLY. He would like a 'back up'.

I do not like (in fact I HATE, DESPISE and LOATHE) the idea of condoms in marriage. People who don't follow symbolism as much as I do will probably not understand this, but condoms mess with my thoughts on 'complete intimacy' in marriage, due to the actual barrier between his flesh and mine. It seems, in my mind, to strip away that intimacy I should be striving for in marriage, when I can't feel him 'exposed', and everything else that occurs (IYKWIM) - feels like I'm blocking him somewhat, even if just physically, it tends to reverberate emotionally in my mind. Plus, it gives sex that 'naughty' image again, as condoms are primarily advertised for non-married, non-monogamous couples, and I don't like that imagery going on either!

I have heard REALLY bad stuff about the depo shots, the implanon, the film and IUDs, so I'm really against these. AND I realise that with BCP being activated, NFP is just not going to work (even though I feel like I AM still ovulating due to the lower back pain, emotional overload, and 'friskyness' I get at the time I SHOULD be ovulating, when I'm on BCP).

Are there any other options? I'm thinking not, unless the male contraception comes into being (B REALLY likes this idea, and has shown himself to be fairly reliant when it comes to pill taking)... Can you get spermicides to 'coat' him with or something, just as another back up?

I don't really get his 'uneasiness' with being reliant on the pill on its own, but I'm willing to respect it and research other forms of BC that can be used alongside the pill, so long as the side effects are minimal and aren't one of the aforementioned ones we've ruled out.

Sasch

 

[charligirl]

You could always try the Diagphragm or NFP, the BCP doesn't always stop you ovulating, despite what the makers might tell you! that is why there is a huge question mark over it because if you Do ovulate and the egg fertilises it works as an abortive.

It does seem odd that he is so uneasy and surely once you are married if you were on the pill and were the unlucky 0.5% who did get pregnant on the pill would it be that awful? it's not like his past single relationships.

 

[alaskamolly]

Sacscha,

NFP shouldn't be too hard at all...especially because your cycle will be so predictable because of the Pill.

Just grab a book on it from the library or something, or get one of those saliva-microscope thingys (it looks like a tube of lipstick--you put a touch of your saliva on the slide and it will "fern" if you are fertile, and just look like nothing when you're not.)...

That way you can figure out the one week you actually ARE fertile, and then you guys can abstain that week, or use a diaphragm/cervicalcap or something like that, just for that week only...

I'm not a Catholic, but I sure did get some great resources on NFP from the Catholic Church (they usually have classes you can attend, and all sorts of stuff). They also have a group called "the Couple to Couple League" that specializes in teaching other couples how to use NFP. Very helpful and free!

Also, that way you are being careful to avoid the chance of aborting a baby due to the bcpill hormones--because you're not letting a chance of fertilization happen in the first place, which I think would be very wise.


Warm Regards,
Molly

 

[EmSchmem]

I kinda hinted on this in the other forms of contraception thread.

I use the BCP whilst unmarried, for reasons OTHER than contraception (to keep my cycle regular and reduce PMS, amongst other reasons). My bf and I wish to keep using this for contraception after we are married, however due to my bf's MAJOR pregnancy scares in his past sexual relationships, is not all that keen on being reliant on them ONLY. He would like a 'back up'.

I do not like (in fact I HATE, DESPISE and LOATHE) the idea of condoms in marriage. People who don't follow symbolism as much as I do will probably not understand this, but condoms mess with my thoughts on 'complete intimacy' in marriage, due to the actual barrier between his flesh and mine. It seems, in my mind, to strip away that intimacy I should be striving for in marriage, when I can't feel him 'exposed', and everything else that occurs (IYKWIM) - feels like I'm blocking him somewhat, even if just physically, it tends to reverberate emotionally in my mind. Plus, it gives sex that 'naughty' image again, as condoms are primarily advertised for non-married, non-monogamous couples, and I don't like that imagery going on either!

I have heard REALLY bad stuff about the depo shots, the implanon, the film and IUDs, so I'm really against these. AND I realise that with BCP being activated, NFP is just not going to work (even though I feel like I AM still ovulating due to the lower back pain, emotional overload, and 'friskyness' I get at the time I SHOULD be ovulating, when I'm on BCP).

Are there any other options? I'm thinking not, unless the male contraception comes into being (B REALLY likes this idea, and has shown himself to be fairly reliant when it comes to pill taking)... Can you get spermicides to 'coat' him with or something, just as another back up?

I don't really get his 'uneasiness' with being reliant on the pill on its own, but I'm willing to respect it and research other forms of BC that can be used alongside the pill, so long as the side effects are minimal and aren't one of the aforementioned ones we've ruled out.

Sasch

Sasch,
If I weren't allergic to spermicides and such my husband I and would hve really enjoyed the sponge (not actually legal here in USA but we got it from Canada). It doesn't have to be fit by a doctor, they came right to my door and I could wear them for a long time (up to 30 hours total). Neither of us could feel them and neither of us felt the block in intimacy that you talk about. We have LOATHED condoms. They're awful and we have often ended up just not having sex at all. Which given my past was a rally bad idea. My friend uses the diapham and loves it.
As a side bar i think it's great that you're thinking about these things now and not when you have to make a quick decision. Also I DID want to encourage you. I have seen so much maturity from you since you started this relationship. I was frankly a little worried when you started it but I have seen such stability and growth out of you and it has been an awesome testimony to me! I am so proud of you following God's will for you!

 

[andiesmama]

I am off the pill now, I use a vaginal insert called Encare, you put it in right before "playtime" and you're good to go! It does take some of the "spontenaity" out of it, but it works well for us...for that matter, your hubby could help you put it in!! I would like to look into using the sponge, I think they've improved it from when they took it off the shelves years ago? Anyone know?

 

[Svt4Him]

If he is that against kids, get him snipped. Otherwise, if you're using the pill (and please not the kind that cause abortions) it's usually enough.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

I am off the pill now, I use a vaginal insert called Encare, you put it in right before "playtime" and you're good to go! It does take some of the "spontenaity" out of it, but it works well for us...for that matter, your hubby could help you put it in!! I would like to look into using the sponge, I think they've improved it from when they took it off the shelves years ago? Anyone know?

I know they're trying to bring it back to the US. I went to their site, www.todaysponge.us, and this is what they have to say:

STATUS of the Today® SPONGE IN THE U.S. (updated 08/01/04)

The Today Sponge is currently being reviewed by the US FDA. There are two submissions needed to gain re-approval for US distribution. One of the approvals is for the label to assure that the package contains up to date information in acceptable format. This submission has been sent to the FDA for review and we have received an “APPROVABLE” letter from the Agency. The Agency has since come back and said they want to review it further. We have made and will make every change and adjustment they have requested. The labeling now sits in their hands.

The second submission is chemistry pre-approval. The data needed for this submission has been generated and are available and submitted to the FDA for review. We have received an “APPROVABLE” letter from the Agency who awaits a small amount of additional data from one of our proprietary suppliers.

These data will be sent to the FDA by our supplier in August at which time we expect approval of both the Chemistry and Labeling Supplements.

If you want to be kept up to date on our progress, email questions@todaysponge.com and tell us you want to join the “Friends of the Sponge” email list. (This list is kept strictly private and is never shared or sold.)

 

[pegatha]

I agree with the suggestion about combining the diaphragm with whatever BCP is helping you now. Since the diaphragm is pretty reliable all by itself, when used correctly, the chances are next to nothing that your BCP's abortifacient properties (if there are any) would ever kick in. However, if you decided to rely on BCPs alone, then my advice would be to switch to non-abortive, contraceptive-only pills (if that's not what you're currently using).

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Thanks girls for ALL your help,

Wow, I might be a nurse, but there a lot of contraceptives I forgot about. Alaskamolly - thanks for showing me that there IS a way I could use NFP, as I would be most happy using this one I think.

Nope, not getting snipped, not yet anyway. The thing is we DO want kids eventually, just not in the first year (due to, if it occurs around the time we're planning on, a number of things that will come up in that year). Still working on his 'fear' in this, slowly, and I think part of this will be helped if I respect his desire for a 'backup'.

I'm on the contraceptive-only pill (the very low one, which you have one strength the whole way thru the cycle, and then a placebo), so the risk of it being an abortifacient, is VERY low (plus with me being so regular and having the tell tale signs of ovulation still, I can pretty much tell that that's not a great time for us to 'play up' - REMEMBER, I'm talking about post-marriage, NOT now)...

Still have to look at this diaphragm thing and the sponge - I just worry about the fiddliness with them - seems like a bit of a hassle...

Em - wow, thanks for that side note - I got misty! I really appreciate your support and encouragement, thanks.

God bless girls, and yeah, thanks! At least I have some ideas I can bring into our conversations now...

Sasch

 

[charligirl]

However, if you decided to rely on BCPs alone, then my advice would be to switch to non-abortive, contraceptive-only pills (if that's not what you're currently using).

When I started looking into BC options I didn't come across this.... which one is it? From my research all BCP had some element (mightily played down by the manufacturers and Doctors of course) of abortive.

 

[Leanna]

I thought that BCP is 99% effective. If not, why not get Depo Provera instead which is 99.9% effective? I don't see any reason to be that scared of kids. I am assuming you all will be married when you have sex, and shouldn't you be open to the possibility? If there is a 1% chance of getting pregnant and you get pregnant then it is a special gift from God, not an unfortunate circumstance. If he is that scared of pregnancy that while married and using birth control with 99% percent effectiveness, maybe he needs counseling to figure out what scares him so much...

 

[Cright]

I thought that BCP is 99% effective. If not, why not get Depo Provera instead which is 99.9% effective? I don't see any reason to be that scared of kids. I am assuming you all will be married when you have sex, and shouldn't you be open to the possibility? If there is a 1% chance of getting pregnant and you get pregnant then it is a special gift from God, not an unfortunate circumstance. If he is that scared of pregnancy that while married and using birth control with 99% percent effectiveness, maybe he needs counseling to figure out what scares him so much...

depo causes MANY problems.. including infertility up to several years after coming off of it... many women must be put on estrogen and progestrone (sp?) after coming off depo just to get their periods back (and this is a year+ after quiting the shots).
Please, Please.. do alot of research and take alot of questions with you to the dr's if considering this option! If a dr denies them, then don't trust it.. an honest dr. will let you know he's aware of the side affects and then say he believes this would (or would not) work for you due to reasons a b or c.. something like that!

...also most of the side effects of this come after 9-15 months of taking it.. or once you try to come off it. please research ladies!!

Hugs,
Carina

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Thanks girls again for the new suggestions!

As to depo - I am scared of it. The research shows pretty much what Carina says - a LONG time to get back to 'regular', and infertility issues. Same with the implanon - although it's worked great for some, there is a far higher percentage of girls who've had it implanted and had to struggle through so many side affects for the first year, that I'm not that keen on it. Thanks for the suggestion though!

Molly, I think it's because I'm on the low dosage (I can't remember the hormones, but usually the pill has 2, and mine has 1), which means it's not AS effective, but reduces the risk of abortifacient (there IS still a risk, according to this new research, just not as much), and sometimes I still ovulate (well, from what I can tell anyway - the symptoms of ovulation still occur for me at least 75% of the time, when I'm taking it). That research about abortifacient abilities is still in the beginning stages, has not been completed as yet, so I'm still reading up about it. Unfortunately, it has been released in the 'it looks like' stage (which is stage 1-2), rather than the 'it DOES cause' (which would be stage 4-5), and some groups and media outlets have jumped on the bandwagon, before the research has been completed. Not trying to pardon the BCP, if it does turn out that it has this ability, just trying to show it's EARLY stages in the research, and so far it has to do with reducing the amount of hormones released to delay (if not prevent) ovulation. Fortunately, I think I am still ovulating (maybe only slightly) with being on it, so I should know, when I'm married, that if we aren't in a place for a child to be created, to keep clothed and apart!

The issue about his fear of a surprise baby in marriage, has a lot to do with his family-of-orgin upbringing (from what I can tell, he hasn't said this, but I've gleaned a few things that would suggest this) and the usual 'I'm too young/immature to be a father!' that most guys go through. He's 29, but my colleagues assured me that at 29, most guys are still afraid of parenting! It surprised me, cos the bf's before him were all excited about eventually being dads, and were slightly younger. It's something that still requires a lot of prayer - but I know it's being worked through. 4 years ago, children were the one thing he NEVER wanted. Now, we're talking about when, how many, schools, parenting types - so we're getting somewhere!

Thanks for all the suggestions, again, and God bless you all!

Sasch

 

[Jengi]

depo causes MANY problems.. including infertility up to several years after coming off of it... many women must be put on estrogen and progestrone (sp?) after coming off depo just to get their periods back (and this is a year+ after quiting the shots).
Please, Please.. do alot of research and take alot of questions with you to the dr's if considering this option! If a dr denies them, then don't trust it.. an honest dr. will let you know he's aware of the side affects and then say he believes this would (or would not) work for you due to reasons a b or c.. something like that!

...also most of the side effects of this come after 9-15 months of taking it.. or once you try to come off it. please research ladies!!

Hugs,
Carina

I agree. Depo was one of the treatments avalible to treat my endo but my Dr. said he would not even consider it until I have had all of the children I want. That to me is scary!

 

[Leanna]

I am on the generic version of depo, and I know three other people on the same thing. No issues with getting pregnant when they wanted and no odd side effects. I can find scary stories on any drug if I want. I haven't had any issues, but I will tell you if I have problems getting pregnant next time.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Oh Leanna,

I hope I didn't sound like I was critical of you using it - if it works for you - great! Same with the implanon - I know girls who have NO problems (however the number who do, far outweigh the number who don't)...

My info isn't from the typical 'horror story' net searches some do. It's from actual journal articles (I am a sucker for non-biased medical journals, especially to do with birth control). It's a proven fact that the depo-provera does take a considerable (ie over 18 months) amount of time, in most cases, to 'remove itself' from your system after cessation. Most doctors ONLY recommend it if you have finished planning your family, or are not planning to have children for about 2 years at least. And when my doctor was going through options, she told me that it would take a while to get me back into 'normal', so I should plan to have it in for the first year or 2 of marriage, only if I was going to wait four years for children.

There is a considerable risk of delayed fertility with the shot or the implant, compared to the pill. The research shows the pill is the LEAST likely to affect your cycle long term, with the majority of people having no problem in conceiving in less than 6 months after stopping the pill. The stories that float around about difficulty in conception after stopping the pill are myths, when compared with medical research, and those that do have usually been found to have long-lasting medical issues (like endo, cysts, fibroids, PCOS), that were there before the start of contraceptives.

I am REALLY glad tho that you are your friends seem to be okay, however I will go on what the medical journal research has been showing.

Sasch

 

[pegatha]

When I started looking into BC options I didn't come across this.... which one is it? From my research all BCP had some element (mightily played down by the manufacturers and Doctors of course) of abortive.

Charligirl, I didn't keep any notes on specifics when I looked all this up, so I only remember things in general terms. I do recall reading that manufacturers began adding the abortifacient properties mostly after the mid-80's (I think), in response to scares about the high levels of hormones in contraceptive-only pills. I was just assuming that some of the older, non-abortifacient formulas are still available. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful than that.

 

[FaithAlone]

Nope, the older pills had at least three times the estrogen than the high dose pills now. most doctors don't even like to prescribe the high dose pills. Sacha(sp?), where did you find your information on BC? I have looked all over the internet, bookstores, and even in medical libraries and there just isn't much info that I've found. I would love to know where some more information about BC and whether it's abortifacient or not is. I'm glad these posts are here. People need to be more aware of their options. I'll let you all know how FAM works for me.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I work at a hospital, and we have an intranet that gets us onto a database that stores medical journals, for free. I am trying to load it onto my computer here, but it costs about $150 a year at least, and I don't really have that money.

Most of the articles I've come across that discuss the abortifacients have to do with the hormonal disruptions, that cause implantation to fail, ovulation to be delayed, womb lining to shed (which some people DO class as abortifacient ability, even though it isn't 'killing/destroying' the fetus, as such, just removing the capability for the fertilised egg to implant itself in the womb). It all depends on your definition of 'abortifacient' there.

The articles I've really been looking at are the ones that show the side effects of birth control, and whether these match up with the 'urban legends' you hear around the net, your workplace, your friends, etc. So far the only ones that have some grain of truth are ones that state implanon and depo delay your fertility and cause complications in conception. The ones about the pill and delayed fertility have thus far been proven as untrue in the articles.

The ones about abortifacients? Well, there are no fully researched articles out there at present, just ones stating that they are starting to see the research show it, but the population pool they are studying from is VERY small and have other side effects as well (ie the clotting during the period has been discovered to be endometriosis side effect, rather than a shed fetus, etc)...

If I can ever afford to get the database up on my computer, I'll have a better look. Most of the articles that are on the net are not non-biased medical journals (they usually are sponsored by a contraceptive company, family planning, etc etc) - you usually have to pay for the ones from Medline, AMA, etc...

Sasch

 

[Jillian1527]

I have been around the block with what seems to be all of the birth control methods. NFP has worked great with me. I dont get the hormonal side effects like I did with the pill. We have been using NFP for 2.5 years now and havent gotten pregnant inless we wanted too.
I have tried Depo. It made me HORRIBLY moody. and I spotted all through the 3 months it lasted. and the 4th month I got pregnant. so infertility wasnt an issue.
as for the diaphram or spermisides, dont use them alone, their failure rate is higher than BCP. and as comfortable as I am with my body I just could never work the diaphram.
hope this helps some.
-Jillian