Bipolar Ministering

[stanneberg]

Several months ago, I started writing on these bipolar threads. At that time, I had just completed a Christian-growth retreat and received power from God that changed my life. During that weekend, I received a spiritual healing and a physical healing. My spiritual disease derived from a desperate need to know what God thought about me. I knew that I was a Christian, but my view of God pictured Him standing over me with His hands on hips, shaking His head asking me why I didn’t pray a little longer, listen a little more, try a little harder, read a little more . . . Anything I tried to do, in my mind, was never good enough. My physical disease, of course, was being bipolar. Just over a year ago, I was admitted to the hospital in very bad shape. I was cycling from manic to depressed over 10 times a day and my pharmaceutical cocktail was ineffective. When I was discharged, I had been prescribed 11 different medications, consuming over 40 pills a day ($4,000.00 a month) – still cycling, but not as bad.

My spiritual healing was the most noticeable. My wife wondered who I was and what did I do with her husband. When I slept, God revealed scriptural principles and truths in ways I couldn’t normally explain. There were several instances where visions were given to me in order to meet spiritual needs in others. I prayed constantly and consistently – then eagerly watched God answer the prayers in magnificent ways. Talk about a high! Experiencing these things was the best drug ever created!

Being healed physically was the hardest to confirm. After all, a mental disease is harder to diagnose than a broken leg or cancer. There are no tests to reveal it, no machines to watch the neuro-transmitters perform, and no blood test to show ineffective brain activity. Therefore, how could I know that I had been healed? I couldn’t take my medicine any more. Now, we all know that when you take yourself off medicine – you are in mania! Expect a crash! Not this time. I knew that God had healed me and my medicine was useless.

It would only be natural for me to encourage all of you to receive this kind of healing too. In fact, I would love to offer five easy steps for you to be "bipolar free". Better yet, wouldn’t it be great to form a new ministry together where we can capitalize on my healing and heal the world? Unfortunately, I can’t do any of this. Why? – for the same reason I’ve been silent on the forum . . . I’ve been miserable!

The last couple of months have been the epitome of loneliness, depression, self doubt and turmoil. Many times I have considered starting my medicine regime all over again. I have prayed earnestly to receive that "closeness" to God . . . and desperately searched my heart to find the reason that moved me from Him. I haven’t been able to work at all for the last few months. Lately, every joint in my body has become so arthritic, putting on a shirt is a painful chore.

I had all kinds of conflict knowing that I had been healed – then plunging into a depression that beat all depressions. Was I really healed in the first place? Did I do something wrong? If God revealed Himself to me in a spectacular way, why am I so down? Why do I think of ending my life when Christ came to give me life?

Jesus summed it all up for me in Luke 11:24-26. "When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first."

Now, I don’t believe that a follower of Christ can be possessed by demons, but I do believe that they can be oppressed. I have been under oppression most of my life. I know what I’m talking about! In this scripture, I see a pattern that Satan and his followers use; once we resist the Devil and he flees from us, he will come back to us . . . with a larger force! Satan will do anything to deceive, destroy, maim, steal and kill – anything to separate us from God.

Do me a favor -- ask me to talk about something! Give me something to pray for other than myself. Tell me your burdens and I’ll tell you mine. Lets put ourselves in a position where we can uplift and encourage each other. I need you to pray for me, and I need to pray for you. I desperately want to see what God can do in our lives – in spite of our mental condition!

Stephen Tanneberg

 

[Jeshu]

Do me a favor -- ask me to talk about something! Give me something to pray for other than myself. Tell me your burdens and I’ll tell you mine. Lets put ourselves in a position where we can uplift and encourage each other. I need you to pray for me, and I need to pray for you. I desperately want to see what God can do in our lives – in spite of our mental condition!

Stephen Tanneberg

Stephen you can pray for me if you like. I struggle with depression on and off and have been trying medications with only limited success. I fit the label Schizo-affective but in my heart I know I'm simply a child of Him. My biggest burden at the moment is to trust in God for everything. When I was having my last episode, I thought that I had been healed but it turned out to be another psychosis. In the deepest point of the depression that followed I was hallucinating about my existance without God. Like a bottomless pit it rose to meet me and all I wanted to do was die. These 'images' and 'moments' are still written in my heart and mind and make it hard for me to trust God when it gets difficult.


I'll pray for you as well. I pray that you may find some relief and stablity. That God may bless you so.

Gerry

 

[stanneberg]

Stephen you can pray for me if you like.

Not only would I like to pray for you, I WILL! (And have)

I fit the label Schizo-affective but in my heart I know I'm simply a child of Him.

During my last session with my Psychologist, I described to her an instance where I thought I heard a party going on next door. I walked outside and discovered that the neighborhood was all quiet. Back inside the house, I heard it again and began to look for the radio or TV that was still on. Guess, what! Everything was off inside the house as well. She went to her medical book and immediately looked up Schizo-affective disorder and tried to place another lable on me. (I have had many lables!) She determined that I was on the border of a pshchotic episode. At that point, I realized that I had experienced something spiritual, not physical.

A good Christian friend encouraged me to listen to the noise rather than run from it or try to drown it out (as I had done many times before.) I followed her advice and listened to the noise. At first it was hard to determine whether it was one voice with many instruments, or many voices with no instruments. At any rate, I believe that the door to heaven was left open and I heard the most beautiful voices of Angels singing in unison. Now, I wouldn't start another denomination over this event, but I will say, I felt peace. My heart was drawn to God.

In the deepest point of the depression that followed I was hallucinating about my existance without God. Like a bottomless pit it rose to meet me and all I wanted to do was die. These 'images' and 'moments' are still written in my heart and mind and make it hard for me to trust God when it gets difficult.

This was a vision, not a hallucination. Without God there is no life. Think about it! Hell is something; an eternal furnace, total chaos, evil. But without God there is nothing. We can't even close our eyes and imagine what nothing is. Even if you picture everything dark and black; dark is the absence of light and black is a color -- both are something. We worship the God who created everything out of nothing!

I believe when Jesus was in the garden asking the disciples to pray with Him, He was suicidal. (I've had many heated debates over this belief -- usually from people that have never experienced depression.) The reason I believe this is that the scripture tells us that He was "sorrowful, even to the point of death." I don't think that He was pre-living the painful death on the cross or imagining what it would be like to actually take on all the sins of the world. I think He was anticipating His total separation from the Father . . . for the first and only time.

In my life, every time I have been suicidal it has been where I have felt abandoned and separated from God. Although we have been promised that He will never leave us or forsake us, when we 'feel' separated, what other hope do we have? The greatest struggle I have always had with my illness is the fact that Christians are supposed to offer others hope . . . and my overwhelming feelings are built on hopelessness.

I believe that your disease, like mine, has opened a door into the metaphysical world so we can actually see and feel the things that go on in there. We see, feel and sometimes live on the frontlines of the battle that cannot be seen with the naked eye. The purpose for this is to prepare us for battle; to know the enemy; to know how to pray; and to draw us closer to Him.

Many times I wish that I didn't have any visions at all. This is not a fun thing! It is, however, the way that God wired our brains -- specifically for His use, honor and glory. My prayer is that you and I (and anyone else like us) will be able to find our purpose and let God change us into great warriers for Him.

Stephen Tanneberg

 

[vincejohn]

Hello Stephen go on the non denominational thread and you will see how spiritually blessed people with visions and other marvelous testimonies to share are treated by so called Christians. Your an intelligent individual. Tell your quack to label herself with stickytape on her head and mouth. Regarding your arthritic situation, I play guitar and sing. I stopped for a while and after a couple of years my left hand finger was all cramped up and stiff painful..arthritis. I grabbed the guitar and after a few months of practice moving the finger around the neck the pain went away and now Im playing like I did 20 years ago. So move the body part slowly each day, exercise it and get the blood flowing again do a little each day and you will thank me Godwilling in a few weeks. Dont worry about anything bro, Holy God of Jesus Christ loves you, you have a wonderful personality love brother vinny.

 

[stanneberg]

Hello Stephen go on the non denominational thread and you will see how spiritually blessed people with visions and other marvelous testimonies to share are treated by so called Christians. Your an intelligent individual. Tell your quack to label herself with stickytape on her head and mouth.

Vinny, I have thumbed around on other threads and was disgusted. I'm always interested in other's needs, but grieve over the mis-guided approach and interpretations of the scripture. There have been times I felt led to share my approach and concepts to them, but because of my illness, I wonder if I'm misguided as well.

The most depressing times I can remember have been where I have done or said what I thought God wanted me to say, then have someone in "spiritual authority" (someone who finished college and seminary) tell me that it was wrong. My hope has been centered around what God can do in and through me. My own efforts have never amounted to much. When I feel or invision a biblical revelation that I think is from the Lord, I feel so blessed -- that God would share anything with me at all. Being repremanded by Christians for these concepts always makes me doubt my own ability to reason and interpret God's word.

Regarding your arthritic situation, I play guitar and sing. I stopped for a while and after a couple of years my left hand finger was all cramped up and stiff painful..arthritis. I grabbed the guitar and after a few months of practice moving the finger around the neck the pain went away and now Im playing like I did 20 years ago.

35 years ago, I too started to play and sing. I went to college as a music major. Over the years, all of my instruments have been stolen -- the last guitar right out of church! I have been praying about all the music in my life -- wanting to start playing again. I'm interested in your music and would love to hear it someday.

So move the body part slowly each day, exercise it and get the blood flowing again do a little each day and you will thank me God willing in a few weeks. Dont worry about anything bro, Holy God of Jesus Christ loves you, you have a wonderful personality love brother vinny.

I took your advice and have been trying to move everything. My shoulders are the most painful, then both hips, knees and ankles. I actually went for a walk this morning -- I needed a pack of cigarettes! (Oh well, we can't heal everything all at once!)

You have encouraged me!

Stephen Tanneberg

 

[vincejohn]

Pleasure Stephen thanks for adding me to your buddy list. My cd is very melodic and soulfulful and a few people have told me its easy listening eases stress. There is also a beautiful gospel song called cry a little. Im sorry they stoled your instruments. Take it easy I might just hang around here things have heated up in the other thread, Im come here and hide.

 

[stanneberg]

Pleasure Stephen thanks for adding me to your buddy list. My cd is very melodic and soulfulful and a few people have told me its easy listening eases stress. There is also a beautiful gospel song called cry a little. Im sorry they stoled your instruments. Take it easy I might just hang around here things have heated up in the other thread, Im come here and hide.

I just looked at the non-demonitional thread. I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever read! In fact, I'm still laughing!

I really don't have an opinion on the subjects of "Prophets" and "the sabbath". What was humorous was the exchange. I could just see the hair raising on the back of everyone's necks trying to debate their theological point.

Martin Luther and Eurasmus of Rotterdam used to have heated exchanges as well. One time Martin Luther wrote: "You're pen is magnificant -- but when I read your words, I picture you walking down the street holding golden platters filled with dung."

I can tell you are different than me. I like people that are different. You started a new thread "I'll help you out of the RUT Genious Prophet." I'm curious . . . were you addressing me as a Genious Prophet or were you refering to something else? I've been called many things in my life -- I was a general contractor! If you were referring to me, I'm not offended, but am curious as to why?

Stephen Tanneberg

 

[vincejohn]

All of us here are genious prophets, we just have to ask the Good Lord to let the genious prophets out of our hearts and souls. LOL

 

[alaurie]

Several months ago, I started writing on these bipolar threads. At that time, I had just completed a Christian-growth retreat and received power from God that changed my life. During that weekend, I received a spiritual healing and a physical healing. My spiritual disease derived from a desperate need to know what God thought about me. I knew that I was a Christian, but my view of God pictured Him standing over me with His hands on hips, shaking His head asking me why I didn’t pray a little longer, listen a little more, try a little harder, read a little more . . . Anything I tried to do, in my mind, was never good enough. My physical disease, of course, was being bipolar. Just over a year ago, I was admitted to the hospital in very bad shape. I was cycling from manic to depressed over 10 times a day and my pharmaceutical cocktail was ineffective. When I was discharged, I had been prescribed 11 different medications, consuming over 40 pills a day ($4,000.00 a month) – still cycling, but not as bad.

My spiritual healing was the most noticeable. My wife wondered who I was and what did I do with her husband. When I slept, God revealed scriptural principles and truths in ways I couldn’t normally explain. There were several instances where visions were given to me in order to meet spiritual needs in others. I prayed constantly and consistently – then eagerly watched God answer the prayers in magnificent ways. Talk about a high! Experiencing these things was the best drug ever created!

Being healed physically was the hardest to confirm. After all, a mental disease is harder to diagnose than a broken leg or cancer. There are no tests to reveal it, no machines to watch the neuro-transmitters perform, and no blood test to show ineffective brain activity. Therefore, how could I know that I had been healed? I couldn’t take my medicine any more. Now, we all know that when you take yourself off medicine – you are in mania! Expect a crash! Not this time. I knew that God had healed me and my medicine was useless.

It would only be natural for me to encourage all of you to receive this kind of healing too. In fact, I would love to offer five easy steps for you to be "bipolar free". Better yet, wouldn’t it be great to form a new ministry together where we can capitalize on my healing and heal the world? Unfortunately, I can’t do any of this. Why? – for the same reason I’ve been silent on the forum . . . I’ve been miserable!

The last couple of months have been the epitome of loneliness, depression, self doubt and turmoil. Many times I have considered starting my medicine regime all over again. I have prayed earnestly to receive that "closeness" to God . . . and desperately searched my heart to find the reason that moved me from Him. I haven’t been able to work at all for the last few months. Lately, every joint in my body has become so arthritic, putting on a shirt is a painful chore.

I had all kinds of conflict knowing that I had been healed – then plunging into a depression that beat all depressions. Was I really healed in the first place? Did I do something wrong? If God revealed Himself to me in a spectacular way, why am I so down? Why do I think of ending my life when Christ came to give me life?

Jesus summed it all up for me in Luke 11:24-26. "When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first."

Now, I don’t believe that a follower of Christ can be possessed by demons, but I do believe that they can be oppressed. I have been under oppression most of my life. I know what I’m talking about! In this scripture, I see a pattern that Satan and his followers use; once we resist the Devil and he flees from us, he will come back to us . . . with a larger force! Satan will do anything to deceive, destroy, maim, steal and kill – anything to separate us from God.

Do me a favor -- ask me to talk about something! Give me something to pray for other than myself. Tell me your burdens and I’ll tell you mine. Lets put ourselves in a position where we can uplift and encourage each other. I need you to pray for me, and I need to pray for you. I desperately want to see what God can do in our lives – in spite of our mental condition!

Stephen Tanneberg

Not only would I like to pray for you, I WILL! (And have)



During my last session with my Psychologist, I described to her an instance where I thought I heard a party going on next door. I walked outside and discovered that the neighborhood was all quiet. Back inside the house, I heard it again and began to look for the radio or TV that was still on. Guess, what! Everything was off inside the house as well. She went to her medical book and immediately looked up Schizo-affective disorder and tried to place another lable on me. (I have had many lables!) She determined that I was on the border of a pshchotic episode. At that point, I realized that I had experienced something spiritual, not physical.

A good Christian friend encouraged me to listen to the noise rather than run from it or try to drown it out (as I had done many times before.) I followed her advice and listened to the noise. At first it was hard to determine whether it was one voice with many instruments, or many voices with no instruments. At any rate, I believe that the door to heaven was left open and I heard the most beautiful voices of Angels singing in unison. Now, I wouldn't start another denomination over this event, but I will say, I felt peace. My heart was drawn to God.



This was a vision, not a hallucination. Without God there is no life. Think about it! Hell is something; an eternal furnace, total chaos, evil. But without God there is nothing. We can't even close our eyes and imagine what nothing is. Even if you picture everything dark and black; dark is the absence of light and black is a color -- both are something. We worship the God who created everything out of nothing!

I believe when Jesus was in the garden asking the disciples to pray with Him, He was suicidal. (I've had many heated debates over this belief -- usually from people that have never experienced depression.) The reason I believe this is that the scripture tells us that He was "sorrowful, even to the point of death." I don't think that He was pre-living the painful death on the cross or imagining what it would be like to actually take on all the sins of the world. I think He was anticipating His total separation from the Father . . . for the first and only time.

In my life, every time I have been suicidal it has been where I have felt abandoned and separated from God. Although we have been promised that He will never leave us or forsake us, when we 'feel' separated, what other hope do we have? The greatest struggle I have always had with my illness is the fact that Christians are supposed to offer others hope . . . and my overwhelming feelings are built on hopelessness.

I believe that your disease, like mine, has opened a door into the metaphysical world so we can actually see and feel the things that go on in there. We see, feel and sometimes live on the frontlines of the battle that cannot be seen with the naked eye. The purpose for this is to prepare us for battle; to know the enemy; to know how to pray; and to draw us closer to Him.

Many times I wish that I didn't have any visions at all. This is not a fun thing! It is, however, the way that God wired our brains -- specifically for His use, honor and glory. My prayer is that you and I (and anyone else like us) will be able to find our purpose and let God change us into great warriers for Him.

Stephen Tanneberg

This is the post I was referring in I'ddieforhim's thread - the ones that concern me.

 

[I'ddie4him]

This is the post I was referring in I'ddieforhim's thread - the ones that concern me.

Yes, These ones also concern me.

At first, I thought, Why bother ??
Then I realized that supporting and encouraging each other means pointing out the harsh realities and truth of a situation.
Maybe healing isn't acheived so easily after all.