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Bipolar Disorder...

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WithHisBloodWentOurSin

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I have a question for everyone with Bipolar....is it normal to hear voices and see...what people could consider visions...except they never come true...
everything that i hear or see is very evil/violent so i have been freaking out because besides that fact i know its not real it is...if you understand
 
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Epiphany

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Yes, it is normal, especially during a manic phase to see things and hear voices. I am bipolar and I have DID. I haven't seen hallucinations, but I hear things. It can be very crazy, but I know it's not me; it's the illness. Usually I have warning signals before I go into a full manic phase. Lots of prayer and taking good care of yourself (taking meds, avoiding things that will trigger you, etc.) helps to deal with this

If you need any help, please feel free to email me or PM me.

Peace and Long Life
~*~ Epiphany ~*~
 
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Epiphany

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Sequel, alters/littles are not demons; they are part of a system. DID happens when a person is going through bad trauma and they can't physically get away. When I was young, I was physically, emotionally abused. I was isolated from other people for long time. I tried to run away, but I got punished for doing so. I was hunted down for 3 years beginning at age 8. I could not escape physically, but I went into myself and dissociated. DID is a defense mechanism against the demonic actions of evil people. DID isn't evil itself. I could have gone psychotic and / or died.

If you have any more questions, pm me or email me.

Peace and Long Life
~*~ Epiphany ~*~
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Since this thread is sort of buried... I'm not sure who will read this post. I could have posted in my journal... but I need feedback. I know I need to make some choices about how I approach my bipolar disorder. I haven't been doing things I know I need to do... I haven't followed up in terms of investigating this Christian Counseling service. I haven't talked to my current therapist in months. I haven't made plans to switch to the Kaiser Medical facility closer to my house.... and the list goes on.

My depressed episodes are shorter yet closer together now... they are also intense while I am going through it. It's like the stress of the week builds up until I explode on the weekends.

I need prayer. I feel lonely, tired, emotional, and edgy. CF has been good for me because I can reach out to people when I need support as well as support others when they are in need. Today I need to hear from people. I need to know that I'm not alone.

LC
 
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WithHisBloodWentOurSin

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We are all here for you, we know what your going through, and i for one will pray for you. I think you really need to see your therapist. In times of depression just remember they will go away and that God is allways with you, turn to God for comfort and love during the depressions, i know its hard...believe me.
 
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Iddie4him

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Sequel,

I think that you have been grossly misinformed, This post really got me angry because most of us that have Bipolar Disorder know it to be very real and debillitating. Such closed minded posts are very rude and hurtful to us that have BPD and to imply that it is quackery is extremely offensive. I do not appreciate comments such as these and I am sure that I am not the only one who has posted their distaste to this trash. Read the DSM-IV and come back when you understand what we deal with everyday and then we can have an intelligent conversation.
 
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alaurie

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Hey LC,
I know this post is a day late but you aren't alone- you're so much in my heart and prayers. And I know in countless others. I believe thats your depression speaking The little dapper doc I PM you about.... he gave me an exhaustive lecture on Lamictal & how it levels out the depression and gives added stablilty after mania is controlled. It also has a side effect in some of da,da,da,da,da,da,dum.......WEIGHT LOSS He uses it in combination with Lithium. Most of the other antidepressesants aren't very effective for bipolar depression and cause the whole weight gain thing that we definately do not want! Paxil is the worst for weight gain.

So, maybe making that move to Kaiser and changing some meds will help?

The Christian Counseling Group also sounds great, but you're really sounding more in need of med adjustments first. Then I think you'll get more out of the counseling. I will

Much love,
Allye
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Hi Allye,

The idea of switching my meds never even crossed my mind. I've been on the lithuim for five years. My life is so much better than it used to be. When I had my depressed episodes I couldn't move my body-- something called enervated. I literally was so stressed that my body would just shut down. I would just lay there and cry. I missed so much work back in the day.

Now that you mention it though... I've been in a functional state of depression for months now. It peaks on the weekend when I have no obligations... but it's there all week long and it has been for so long I don't even know when it started. Being in a job that I hate guarantees a constant stress trigger.

It never crossed my mind that I could be on a diffent medication and have more stability. I've heard so many horror stories of people having really bad side-effects that I never wanted to risk it... but this depression can't go on.

I'm already a Kaiser member. I called them about switching to the facility closer to my home and job. I'm going to switch doctors. I want to do some research into that med you mentioned and ask my new doctor about switching. The idea of getting on a med that might help me lose all the weight I gained when I got on the lithium was enough to put me in a really good mood this morning. Before lithium I was 138lbs. I went up to 215lbs. Now I'm 186 though most people think I'm smaller. Being overweight is another thing that really depresses me. All the things that trigger peaks in this current depression are things that I can't get away from...


Anyway, I've also contacted the Christian Counseling service again. Please pray that I hold fast and follow through with the phone calls on Monday.

Peace,
Lori
 
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LynneClomina

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nope. but in mpd, there is not a "spirit" to get rid of. (most of the time.) (in the "possesed" sense.)
 
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alaurie

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Laurel Crowned

Anyway, I've also contacted the Christian Counseling service again. Please pray that I hold fast and follow through with the phone calls on Monday.
Click to expand...

I will pray.

The doctor who told me about Lamictal uses it in conjunction with Lithium. Lamictal by itself is not very effective for mania but is great for bipolar depression. As far as Lithium and weight gain- Paxil is generally much worse in causing weight gain than Lithium.

The weight gain sucks. I confuse hungry with tired and pretty much stay in a dysphoric hypomania so I don't sleep, then eat all day to try to not feel tired. Several bad insomnia nights I've eaten an entire cheescake!
I'm hoping getting my meds and sleep will eventually help with this overeating. On occasion, I do get a few good nights sleep and love to exercise then so I'm hoping this will eventually help too.
As a result of the above I'm a 180# registered dietitian. Luckly, in the deep
South, we have lots of fat women so my professional credibility is not entirely blown!

I will pray for you- please pray for me AL
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Hey Allye,

Of course I will pray for you. As for the weight gain... one of the reasons I felt uncomfortable with discussing this issue with my current therapist is because she's much heavier than I am... and I worried about hurting her feelings.

Today I'm going to spend some time online researching the different meds. When I first got diagnosed five years ago I did a lot of research... but I'm out of touch with current information. I didn't know Paxil was also known to cause weight gain. As for me... I'd already put on all the weight long before I got on Paxil. It was during the switch off between Depakote and Lithium. The Lithium caused my thyroid to go off... and the thyroid problem caused the weight gain. When they put me on thryoid medication I dropped a significant amount of weight.

Anything that will work on the depression will be a godsend. I experience more episodes of depression than I do mania now... hence the Paxil. I haven't had a true manic episode in years.

Do you think it's possible to switch from Bipolar to Unipolar?? Before the meds I had manic and depressed episodes. Now I just have varying shades of depression with a few normal days thrown in. I'm now at a point where I can function when I'm depressed... but there has to be more to life than this.

LC
 
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Rosa Mystica

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Laurel Crowned said:
I was wondering how you were doing. What has your doctor said about your situation??
Click to expand...

I've been emotionally drained, LC. What did my dr. do? Well, nothing much, I'm afraid. The GP I saw on Thurs. is reluctant to prescribe me anything b/c I have two different diagnoses from two different psychiatrists (I guess second opinions don't help after all ). I need treatment ASAP; my mental health is going down the tubes...
 
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alaurie

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Rosa Mystica,

I will pray for you. Please PM me any time.


Do you think it's possible to switch from Bipolar to Unipolar??
Click to expand...
LC

I've not read that anywhere. The MD I saw the other day said that most mood stablilizers - Lithium, Depakote etc. are much better at controlling the mania part of the disorder and aren't as effective for depression. Also the SSRI antidepressents- Paxil is in that family- don't really do much for bipolar depression. So if I had to make an educated guess I would bet that if you discontinued the lithium without another mood stabilizer the mania would return

I'm sorry I like to encourage Getting kind of weepy typing this.


Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I - Psalm 61:1-2
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Rosa...

Tonight it would be REALLY easy for me to resent that God allows such mental torment. All the suffering. All the regret. Year after year my life continues to spiral downward.

I read your post and I wondered "Why?" Why you? Why me? Why anybody??

The only thing I know is that God is.

Knowing that doesn't make the pain go away. It doesn't change me into a better person... a more stable person... but it gives me hope.

Right now I'm depressed... but in my depression I love God all the more. I can't understand why God allows us to experience this mental pain... but I understand that he loves us. Tomorrow we will both wake up to our respective lives and nothing much may have changed....

as depressed as we are... we have to hope in God. Pray for me and I will pray for you. No matter what happens to either one of us... no matter what your doctor says... we will always be able to turn to God. If we can't do it alone... then we can get prayer and support here. I do pray that God leads you to a doctor who will help you. If that is not to be... the I pray that God would heal you. Just take the depression away. I pray that Jesus would just reach into your mind and set you free from the chains that bind you.

I'm real big on thinking about how God gives us choices... but I'm realizing even more so that Satan offers us choices too. God may allow depression and we can choose to worry or we can choose to trust him. Satan also offers us choices. In our depression... we can chose to lose sight of God or we can abandon our hope. Please don't give in to it. I KNOW it's hard to keep hope when it all seems bleak... but please don't.

You are not alone and you are loved.

LC
 
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alaurie

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Hey LC

Thanks for your prayers- I continue to pray for you. I thought I'd move this in case someone in the future can be helped by having bipolar info in a contiguous thread. I wish we could have a "Mood Disorders Forum" !

I'm still on Zoloft and on 900mg Eskalith CR that I've been on since 2/15. My doctor said lithium can take up to 21 days to completely kick in. I maybe??? am feeling a tiny bit better today? I'm supposed to see the doctor again next week. He says after he gets the hypomania and sleep stabilized, he wants to change the Zoloft to Lamictal to work on the depression end of things.

I saw in your journel you've found what seems to be a good group that (PRAISE!) respects your faith. What all did they say about your meds? AL
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Hi Allye,

The "group" I found was CF. I'm not one for group counseling... but this online community has been a blessing and a half. People like you and other women that I have connected with have really provided that support at times when I wouldn't call a friend. Being able to come online here in the middle of the night or several times a day... I don't feel like I'm being a burden here. Not that my friends would make me feel like a burden.... I would make myself feel like one.

I've been writing and journaling for years... so this forum allows me to express myself in the manner I best express myself. I think I've grown more in the last month that I've been reaching out on CF than I've grown in the last two years.

I'm going back to work tomorrow... so I'd appreciate your prayers.

LC
 
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