Bf is down in the dumps

[freedom4all]

My bf is turning 40 tomorrow, and is very unhappy about it. He also got laid off from his job, and is having a hard time finding a new one. He said he feels like a loser. I am taking the day off work to hang out with him. We are going to the gym (I bought him a membership as a gift) and shop a bit, and go out to dinner. I was originally going to do the whole "old fart" theme with black balloons, etc. but he has said in so many words that he doesn't really want anyone to make a big deal of it, so I'm not going to. We are the same age, so it's not like I don't understand, but it doesn't bother me as it does him. What can I say that will help him feel better?

 

[Hackett]

My bf is turning 40 tomorrow, and is very unhappy about it. He also got laid off from his job, and is having a hard time finding a new one. He said he feels like a loser. I am taking the day off work to hang out with him. We are going to the gym (I bought him a membership as a gift) and shop a bit, and go out to dinner. I was originally going to do the whole "old fart" theme with black balloons, etc. but he has said in so many words that he doesn't really want anyone to make a big deal of it, so I'm not going to. We are the same age, so it's not like I don't understand, but it doesn't bother me as it does him. What can I say that will help him feel better?

Actually there is nothing you can say that will make him feel better. I am sure that your comfort and support help even if he does not vocalize it. Aging is a tough one for all of us. It hits different people at different points in life. The big black birthday for my sister was 30. For my mother it was 50. I do believe that the situation for men is that they had a preconceived idea that at 40 they would have everything figured out. At 40 they felt they would be secure in their job looking forward to great things. In this day in time that does not happen as frequently as it once did. The best thing to do is allow him to work through it while you support him and encourage him. That is not easy. My husband had a career he enjoyed and in his mid 40's the bottom fell out of that industry. His skill set is now obselete and he is retrainng himself for today's job market. It is quite disheartening at times. As women we must trust the Lord to guide and direct us in ways that will encourage our guys as they struggle in this ever changing world. My prayers are with you.