Hi everyone. I’m not a Christian, but I became one of my own accord when I was 15. I didn’t get baptized but I fully put my faith in Christ. However, over time I fell down a rabbit hole and eventually came to find myself unable to feel guilt for sins. I think at some point I felt guilt for sins, but I can’t really remember, as I hadn’t realized that guilt for winning was a requirement for repentance. Eventually, I fell out of the faith and became an atheist. However, I’ve always had a fear of hell, and I think that’s the only reason why I’m coming to this forum, rather than guilt for sins, though I know this is not enough for true repentance. I know a genuine and heartfelt disdain for sins is a sign of the holy spirit dwelling in you, since I’m an apostate, it would seem that I’m beyond being given a second chance for salvation, according to Hebrews 6. I made a very foolish decision years ago (I’m 22 now), and now I just want honesty regarding my situation. Can I pray and receive forgiveness, or am I too far gone?
Thanks for any guidance you can share
Let's discuss Hebrews, and your situation. But first I will lay the groundwork for showing you that you can be forgiven.
1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If we change our direction, and come back to God, in confessing that we have sinned, God is faithful, He sticks by us. He is also just. I bet right now you are feeling injustice, of not being able to repent, but that is not God. We will discuss Hebrews 6 in a minute. God is just, justice means we can come to God to be forgiven.
You have wondered away from God, into sin and atheism. But as you confess your wrong doing to God, and return He will receive you.
Jas 5:19-20 Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.
You have for a time been overtaken in trespasses, but:
Gal 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
So let's now return to Hebrews 6.
Heb 6:4-6 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, if they fall away, to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again for themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame.
You feel you have "fallen away", but what is it to fall away. The passage says the one falling away has "crucified Christ again". So that must mean the cross is not available to the person. However the reality is the cross is given for a lifetime of sins:
Heb 9:27-28 And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many.
Notice what sins the cross actually covers, a lifetime, one righteous life given for a lifetime of sins. So how is it possible to crucify Christ again? The answer is only if one has died in sin then they can be crucifing Christ.
This is backed up by 1 John 5:16
1Jn 5:16 If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life for those who commit sin not leading to death. There is sin leading to death. I do not say that he should pray about that.
We see in the scripture that if we see a brother sinning, and yes you have been a brother, are still a brother, but they have not died in their sin, what are we to do? We are to pray for your restoration. God wants you restored. He is just. Only if you commit sin leading to physical death can you no longer be forgiven. THat is what it means to die in sin, to fall away, in that state you would no longer be able to be forgiven. But right now you can be forgiven.
