Beware the narcissist friend: How to spot manipulation

[Michie]

I was not sure where to post this so I thought I’d put it here. I’m just curious if anyone has had a narcissist in their lives and how they handle it. What are the signs you look for?

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“Did you notice how I outperformed everyone at work last week?” Alex boasted, radiating an air of self-importance. “If they don't recognize my value to the company, I might just move on and find a job that will give me more recognition.”

Jake squirmed in his seat. Although he had shared his own stories in the past, he felt constantly overshadowed by Alex's incessant need for approval. “Uh, yeah ... that's cool,” Jake responded cautiously, realizing that expressing his own thoughts would only fuel Alex's self-absorbed monologues.

While Alex continued emphasizing his own accomplishments without acknowledging Jake’s contributions, there was a noticeable tension in the air, suggesting a potential manipulation disguised as friendship.

It's common to find yourself in a situation where a “friend” monopolizes the conversation and takes all the attention, leaving you feeling undervalued or unimportant.

If you feel your relationships are one-sided and draining, it might be beneficial to take a step back and consider their personal and relational impact on you.

In this article, I am going to help you identify a narcissist and their behaviors, understand how they impact your interactions, and, most importantly, share ways to biblically confront and set boundaries with the narcissists in your life, all while maintaining love and grace.

Definition of a narcissist

Continued below.

Beware the narcissist friend: How to spot manipulation

Let s talk about how you can protect yourself from narcissistic abuse and take care of your well-being

www.christianpost.com

 

[Michie]

This describes my former best friend

How did you break it off?

 

[Michie]

Long story but just deleted him after i couldnt be bothered with the guy, too many things to mention. Never gave him an explanation but if he didnt guess why then shows what man he is.

You hate to hurt someone’s feelings but some things are just not healthy.

 

[mourningdove~]

I was not sure where to post this so I thought I’d put it here. I’m just curious if anyone has had a narcissist in their lives and how they handle it. What are the signs you look for?

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I've not had a narcissist for a friend, but I've had family members and employers who were narcissists ... the harmful kind.

At the time that I was engaging with these persons, I didn't understand NPD. The article describes it pretty well. It took a number of encounters with these people (and too many years), before I realized the personality type I was dealing with. Now, I can spot them more quickly.

These persons in my life were all eventually removed, either by my leaving the job, my severely limiting contact with them, or by their natural deaths.

The recommendations in the article are good. It can be very hard to set boundaries with a narcissist; they don't like the word "no." So sometimes the 'boundary' necessarily becomes that one avoids the narcissist as much as possible, for the sake of one's own mental health. Maybe not the best solution, but sometimes the only one if one doesn't want to go crazy trying to deal with them.

 

[mourningdove~]

What are the signs you look for?

People that are difficult to communicate with, no matter how hard you try to explain yourself.
People that aren't able to admit they are wrong.
People that aren't capable of genuinely apologizing.
People that get angry and go into a rage when they feel criticized or rejected.
People that have an overinflated sense of importance and are unteachable.
People who believe life is all about them. They ignore your emotional needs and the needs of others.
People who lack genuine empathy.
People that run a smear campaign about you, behind your back.
People who make you feel scared and emotionally unsafe.

... I could probably come up with more 'red flags', but I think the best thing is to learn to 'trust one's gut instinct' ...........

If it feels like 'something is off' with this person? There probably is.

 

[Grafted In]

One thing to consider that is of the utmost importance when you discover you are dealing with a genuine narcisist, particularly if it's your spouse, do NOT call them out.
I chose to do so against everything I'd learned at the time. I was seeing a therapist who was quite familiar with narcissism, having exited a 10 year relationship with one, and the subject is one of His specialties. Yet, it took him 6-8 months to see that I was the victim of narcisist abuse. I also read many books and watched a bazillion YouTube videos from therapists as well as those who'd escaped a narcisist relationship and went on to heal from the abuse and began sharing ways for others to deal with their struggles, both still within a relationship and post exit.

This is just my experience, still living with a narcisist spouse.
I called her out and that was perhaps the most foolish mistake I have ever made.
Without going into a lot of detail, my life emediately became many times more difficult.
Long story short, they become a monster. They do not take it well at all.
And, with their smear campaign already fully operational,they will use every person they have collected over the years all at once and you will find yourself alone. You will see them step up their efforts to drive wedges between you and those who still care about you. They are relentless about driving wedges, but if they feel threatened, look out. You will begin seeing others turned against you.

Now I'm learning that silence is the best way of dealing with one of these persons.

Don't learn this lesson the hard way like I did. Learn as much as you can and keep your mouth shut.
Then begin working on an exit strategy.
But don't let them know you are planning an exit.

 

[RileyG]

This describes my former best friend

Same here.