Betraying God....

[AndreaLynn]

I always felt like I had a better relationship with God compared to most people. I have lived such a blessed life.

I wasn't always a Christian. In fact, I was agnostic when I was much younger. One weekend, my friends convinced me to go to a Disciple Now weekend with them and I was made a believer. I felt like God reached out to me that weekend and made his presence and existence absolutely undeniable. I became a Christian immediately.

I've never been the greatest person or Christian. I'm such a sinner, but I always felt like God loved me anyway. Anytime I went to God with my troubles, I would feel immediate relief and a sense of clarity. I knew I could always rely on Him.

Over the last year, I have been involved with a man (John) that I fell for immediately. I have never felt this way about anyone, but a traditional relationship has never happened. I have spent the last year hoping that he will see the light and want more. A couple of months ago, we had a "fall out" and I was convinced I would never see him again. I took it quite hard and cried myself to sleep one night, begging God to help me forget everything about him.

That same week, I met someone new. Someone who I feel God placed in my life to help me get over this situation with the other guy. A relationship never transpired here either, but there is no question in my mind that his presence in my life was something God had intended. I was so overjoyed that God would hear me and answer my prayers. I vowed to give up John for good to thank Him for so blatantly helping me when I was so depressed.

The day that I made that vow, John called completely out of the blue. I told him that I only wanted to be friends and that the things that happened in the past would not be happening anymore. I felt great. I felt as if God had tested me to see if I would keep my vow and I did. I passed the pop-quiz.

Things were fine until December and in a moment of weakness, I went back to John. Things have been complicated ever since. My relationship with John is unimportant, what is important is the current state of my relationship with God.

I betrayed God. I betrayed my vow to him and ever since I did, I feel empty and completely hollow. I feel as if God is no longer in my heart and my life has just taken a turn for the worst. I feel as if I'm stuck in this downward spiral and I know the only thing that can pull me out is God. But, I can't seem to pray. I don't know how to. I feel guilty for betraying him and I feel like a jerk trying to pray and ask him to make everything all better. I want to mend my relationship with God, and I have tried....but it is different. I don't feel him there like I used to.

I don't know what to do. I need him, but I'm too ashamed to reach out to Him.

 

[BobW188]

He knows you're ashamed. He's reaching out to you. Reach back. We all betray him, often in much worse ways than you have, and he always wants us back. He knows your weaknesses. In fact, he knows them better than you ever will.

Let Him do the judging, AndreaLynn. It's his job. He does it better than we do.

 

[faithful follower]

The first time I heard someone say that there was nothing I could do to make God love me anymore and there was nothing I could do to make Him love me any less, I was floored! I had an epiphany!!! It was true. God doesn't love me more when I'm obedient. He doesn't love me less when I'm disobedient. He loves me all the time. And there is nothing in my life that surprises Him.

That is all true for you too. He loves you as much today as He did the day you were conceived. Go talk to your Abba. He is waiting, without shame or condemnation.

Blessings.

 

[annrobert]

AndreaLynn,
I think guilt and condemnation is making you feel hollow and empty.The feelings are powerful and feel very real.It does not mean God is not in your heart anymore.These are psychologically produced feelings based on fear and shame I think.Do not trust your feelings.The best place to go when we mess up is to run to Jesus ,even with our shame and guilt and even if we feel like God is not in our heart.Cause God will never leave us or forsake us.Jesus is our Saviour and He is the one who forgives us no matter what and no matter our feeling shame and He can heal our hearts and take the feelings away and He always forgives us.We just need to run to Him and tell Him all about it and He will heal us.
Take care
annrobert

 

[BlessEwe]

We tend to think like a roller coaster of emotions, up one day down another. God is Always the same, never changing.

He loves you like He has always loved you. Nothing will change that. It is hard at times to take in the reality of it.

Having children helped me to see a small part of how God loves me unconditionally I never thought I could love something so much. Don't let the enemy lie to you, stand up brush yourself off, and walk in faith.

 

[Bobby1812]

Hi

God bless us with emotions and feelings to feel and care for another person. And He is just as excited as you and I when all of us are looking for the right person to come into our life. He also understands the difficulty we go through in searching for a person we want to share our life with.

In terms of what you have done, He does not have any negative opinion of you. In fact, if there is any wrong action that we do, He will always remind us to go to the Cross, where Jesus has paid our sins. So, I encouraged you not to feel any thoughts of betrayal, regrets or disappointments.

In terms of relationship, perhaps you may want to commit to the Lord this area of your life. Go to Him as a child and simply tell Him what you are looking for in a relationship. And allow Him to answer you.

And if relationship with God is important to you and perhaps the most important, then you may also want to have someone who also have the same passion and at the same time, encourage and help you to get closer to God, among other things?

Bobby

 

[Criada]

Feeling that you have let God down is horrible, and very painful.
But, you know what? You will have to get used to it, because you are human. And He knows, and forgives us, every single time. He loves you.. unconditionally, eternally, without changing, whatever you do. His grace is sufficient for you, always.

If you have time, please watch this. It has helped me find the way back to Him so many times.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=dEisSxR2cps