Betrayed Trust

[SimplyyJoyful]

I am not sure where to start. It's almost been four years, and I don't know where to start. I'm currently 22 years old. My Best Friend tried to rape me almost four years ago. He was my Best Friend since I was 3 years old, it was like in seconds he changed to someone I didn't know. It happened in my home, the place that suppose to the safest. It happened on my sofa, and sometimes it's still hard to sit or lay on it without thinking about what happened.

He placed one of his hands inside of me. I will never forget how it felt to beg him. I'll never forget the look in his eyes. I'll never forget the way I felt when he proceeded to rub his "junk" on me before attempting to enter. I will never forget scratching him, and slapping his face. I'll never forget him putting his chin into my chest very hard, and I will never forget how it felt to be choked to the point I thought I was going to die. Someone I was able to roll onto the floor, making us both hit the glass coffee table. I won't forget him getting up and telling me calmly were going to finish this, and walking out of my house as if he did nothing wrong.

I don't have nightmares about it often, but when I do they scare me. I still wake up having panic attacks and feeling like I'm being choked.


I have a friend and I thought about talking with her about this and other scares, but apart of me is scared to talk about it. Apart of me feels like I should be over it and glad that it wasn't worse. I always seem happy and smiling, but often times I'm hurting on the inside. I don't like to show people that I'm vulnerable or hurting.

I just need some help please

 

[Criada]

I'm so sorry you went through that, sweetie.
There's no 'should' about the way we feel - and something like that isn't something you just 'get over'. Is there someone you can talk to - your friend or a pastor or councilor perhaps.
It's very scary to start talking, I know, but it honestly does help
Praying for you, sweetie, and please PM me if you want to talk.

 

[Chaplain David]

I am not sure where to start. It's almost been four years, and I don't know where to start. I'm currently 22 years old. My Best Friend tried to rape me almost four years ago. He was my Best Friend since I was 3 years old, it was like in seconds he changed to someone I didn't know. It happened in my home, the place that suppose to the safest. It happened on my sofa, and sometimes it's still hard to sit or lay on it without thinking about what happened.

He placed one of his hands inside of me. I will never forget how it felt to beg him. I'll never forget the look in his eyes. I'll never forget the way I felt when he proceeded to rub his "junk" on me before attempting to enter. I will never forget scratching him, and slapping his face. I'll never forget him putting his chin into my chest very hard, and I will never forget how it felt to be choked to the point I thought I was going to die. Someone I was able to roll onto the floor, making us both hit the glass coffee table. I won't forget him getting up and telling me calmly were going to finish this, and walking out of my house as if he did nothing wrong.

I don't have nightmares about it often, but when I do they scare me. I still wake up having panic attacks and feeling like I'm being choked.


I have a friend and I thought about talking with her about this and other scares, but apart of me is scared to talk about it. Apart of me feels like I should be over it and glad that it wasn't worse. I always seem happy and smiling, but often times I'm hurting on the inside. I don't like to show people that I'm vulnerable or hurting.

I just need some help please

I'm very sorry this happened to you and am including you in my prayers. I wholeheartedly agree with Criada's suggestions.

God bless you.

Faithfully,
CH Sacerdote

 

[SimplyyJoyful]

Thanks so much for being there for me I appreciate it! I thought about talking to one of my friends about it, but honestly I'm a bit scared to talk about it in person. I'm scared that I might cry, freeze up, or have a panic attack while trying to talk about it. I have been thinking about it though because I need to let it out, I just don't know how. I'm so use to holding everything in that I don't know really how to let it out.

 

[SimplyyJoyful]

I'm very sorry this happened to you and am including you in my prayers. I wholeheartedly agree with Criada's suggestions.

God bless you.

Faithfully,
CH Sacerdote

Thanks I definitely appreciate the prayers, I really need them.