Don't know how to delete this thread. Things r better now thanks for all the advice everyone gave me.
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Best friend is really bad off, I need some advice
- Thread starter WildSurrender
- Start date
Also wev tried to help him a lot but he doesn't want it so wev stopped trying. Wev been friends since teenagers. Now wer in our 20s. I'm just afraid ill open his room door one day and find him dead.
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- Jul 2, 2006
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I suggest that you talk to a counselor and go to Al-Anon. It will help you deal with this in the best way possible. He is affecting your life and you need help for that. If somehow you could have an intervention with the help of a professional that may help him get on the right path again. I am praying for the situation and both of you. God bless you.
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Thanks that's a great idea, he comes in and out of his quiet secludedness, now he's all happy, I think he's bypoler. Well, Thanks a lot for the help and prayers, ill maybe look into this more and see what I can do. All the back and forth with him had gotten kinda old and annoying.
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dgiharris
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If I were to hazard a guess, I would guess that your love for your friend has turned you into an enabler. The irony is that your love is doing more harm than good.
My advice is that you sit your friend down and say, "I love you but I can't be around a drug addict. If you ever use again I'm out of your life."
Hitting rock bottom is an important part of the healing process and people like you (ie people who care) actually prolong the addiction.
My advice is you cut your friend off the next time he uses and move out (or evict him)
It's only a matter of time until the drama of his life consumes yours...
My advice is that you sit your friend down and say, "I love you but I can't be around a drug addict. If you ever use again I'm out of your life."
Hitting rock bottom is an important part of the healing process and people like you (ie people who care) actually prolong the addiction.
My advice is you cut your friend off the next time he uses and move out (or evict him)
It's only a matter of time until the drama of his life consumes yours...
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Thanks for advice. We're working on it. He moved out but is trying to come back but wer keepin our foot down.
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dgiharris
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I also strongly STRONGLY insist you read up on addiction.
Read the book "Girl Interrupted" by Susana Kaysen and also read the AA book of stories that they issue to all newcomers.
The problem "normal" people have with understanding addiction is that they think of addiction as a "choice". For the addict, it is no more a choice than eating is a choice for you. Normal people trivialize addiction and think of it as a willpower problem and in the vast majority of cases, it is not.
For most "true" addicts, they have a genetic and or biochemical susceptibility to addiction. When they take their drug of choice, it not only produces more Dopamine and Serotonin in their brains relative to a normal person's brain, but it also produces a DIFFERENT hormone/chemical (can't think of it right now). It is this different hormone/chemical that has a really high correlation with addiction...
So what is my point?
Basically, you have to know what you are up against. The mistake non-addicts make is that they don't properly understand what addicts are up against nor understand how firm they have to be in their help while simultaneously putting their foot down.
Understanding things like the recidivism rate and triggers is essential for being a good friend.
In any event, wish you luck.
Read the book "Girl Interrupted" by Susana Kaysen and also read the AA book of stories that they issue to all newcomers.
The problem "normal" people have with understanding addiction is that they think of addiction as a "choice". For the addict, it is no more a choice than eating is a choice for you. Normal people trivialize addiction and think of it as a willpower problem and in the vast majority of cases, it is not.
For most "true" addicts, they have a genetic and or biochemical susceptibility to addiction. When they take their drug of choice, it not only produces more Dopamine and Serotonin in their brains relative to a normal person's brain, but it also produces a DIFFERENT hormone/chemical (can't think of it right now). It is this different hormone/chemical that has a really high correlation with addiction...
So what is my point?
Basically, you have to know what you are up against. The mistake non-addicts make is that they don't properly understand what addicts are up against nor understand how firm they have to be in their help while simultaneously putting their foot down.
Understanding things like the recidivism rate and triggers is essential for being a good friend.
In any event, wish you luck.
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