Being yourself

[liesje]

I have no idea if this is the right place to post this, but here goes...

I've been playing a part for so long, hiding my feelings from everyone and trying to be what I think people want me to be that I don't know exactly who I am anymore. I just want to be loved for me, not because I'm trying to be who everyone wants me to be, and I don't know how to go about being myself anymore. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? All of a sudden it's just weighing down on me so much.

 

[heron]

I find that there are certain people that add more pressure than others. If I can pinpoint who is toxic in my life, and spend less time with them, then I feel more at peace.

It's great that you're facing this right now. A lot of people ignore it, then get married and find how it impacts their marriage. Some gravitate toward partners that demand a lot of them, and that could turn very sour.

This is a good article -- it's more extreme than you're talking about, but you'll see similarities.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/abuse.html


There are some groups of people who will leave you feeling like there's no point in impressing, because they will never be impressed. They want to come out on top, and will continually strive with you.

If you can find some people who are kind and giving, that is a start. It might seem selfish to go look for them, but you will want to give-and-take once you see how their lives flow. There really are people out there who will let you be you, and support your differences.

 

[eyzonthepriz]

I'd take time to reflect on who you feel you really are and how you'd like to have others to perceive you. This is possible kiddo, listen. Your at the age where your not trully rigid to the point where your stuck. Simply re-introduce yourself to people outside your normal circle. Join something whether it be a book club or a youth group at a different church who cares, just do something to re introduce your self to others. Be the you that you want to be when you are around the new people and shed the lies of who you are not. While you practice this with your new circle, the old circle will take notice. You control the pace the old circle has info to. They'll attribute the change in you to hanging around your new friends. Nobody gets hurt, Just be true to yourself, and dont allow negative or destructive influences of the new destroy the old in you that is true to its form. You can do this....good luck and let me know how it goes, ok?

 

[Johnnz]

The more trustworthy the company the safer it is to be more honest.

At 17 you are in the process of developing an adult perspective on life. That will be an ongoing project for quite a while, and always open for some revisions. Our Christian values can greatly help in that process.

John
NZ

 

[Bobby1812]

Hi

You can be free from this issue.

You could be a victim of not-so-good self-image or at someone's words of putting you down or some other adverse circumstances that hinders you from being yourself.

Take time to build your self-image by developing Christ in you. If God's plan includes giving us the Holy Spirit to live inside us, then think of all the potential you can be with His help. Learn to develop your identity is with Christ and not just on your own. Live your life as though it is Christ living through you.

At the same time, one way to overcome the fear of being yourself is to discover your natural ability. All of us have talents and gifts which God has given us. Read books and discuss with loved ones or close friends what gifts you have. Use them to be a blessing to others and at the same time, to be blessed yourself. Commit your talents to God and He will give you a meaningful life!

Bobby

 

[childofGod31]

I have no idea if this is the right place to post this, but here goes...

I've been playing a part for so long, hiding my feelings from everyone and trying to be what I think people want me to be that I don't know exactly who I am anymore. I just want to be loved for me, not because I'm trying to be who everyone wants me to be, and I don't know how to go about being myself anymore. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? All of a sudden it's just weighing down on me so much.

I generally am afraid to get too close to people (or let people to get too close to me) because I think that then they will see the real me and dislike me. I know I seem normal before I start to speak from my soul.
But I think people consider me a little "different" (as far as my thinking and principles and the way I look at life). My sister sometimes says: "you are weird". So at one point I was very lonely because I felt I was alone and nobody understood me. I prayed to God and He sent me a friend, the same kind of "weird" that I was. And I am happy now. And I am so grateful to have somebody who knows me more than anybody else in the world, but who loves me regardless of my faults. It's a great feeling of relief. I am not sure why I am saying this or whether it relates to anything you said. I hope that maybe on some level it does...?

But I do hope that you remember that God knows us completely, absolutely, every thought. But not just rhoughts but every desire, every tendency, He knows what our hearts ache for and desire for...

Try to see yourself through HIS eyes.

PSA 139:3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. 5 You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

My recommendation would be: whenever you want happines from life, you can find it when you find God. Not just believe in Jesus, but really find God, feel close to Him in your heart. Believe that He is always with you and is always watching over you.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart Ps 37:4

If you want the desires of your heart to be fullfilled, first find a way to God, find a way to delight yourself in Him.

God is not a religion, God is a person who is waiting for you to come and talk to Him. He longs to hear us talk to Him, just like we long to talk to our best friend. He can give you so much. He has everything. He just want to become your best friend. But in order to do that, you need to study His word, meditate on his words, and let them sink into your heart, so that you could understand them with your heart. Because He describes about Himself through His word.

And when you will find Him to be your best friend, then anything is possible.

I wish you blessings in your journey.

 

[MikePantelides]

You're 17 and without me sounding patronising you'll grow and mature into who you are, developing your character. I won't lie some people don't like certain things when you tell them who you are or what you believe in. You just have to trust in the Lord and be true to yourself. No one is asking you to bare your soul though to everyone.

I'm 25 and i'm a different person, I used to think I knew everything then...and now. Try enjoy your life and stay as close to your beliefs and morals as you can.
God bless x

 

[heron]

without me sounding patronising ... developing your character.

Everyone who's old was young first, so we're looking at ourselves when we say it. I would never want to go back to the peer pressure of high school and junior high. An environment forms that is so survival-of-the-fittest, it gets vicious.

To protect ourselves, we all conform at least a little to others' expectations, just to keep from drowning. This does get better. Soon all your friends will be ornery and set in their ways, and you will realize that you don't have to completely like them to be friends with them. I mean, you are you and others think differently, and life goes on.

 

[Emmy]

Dear liesje. Now that you know you have giving impressions, rather than just being yourself, it is the first step on the road to change. It is up to you, and our trusted Friend and Teacher Jesus Christ. Let Him knowthat you want to be yourself, and also need His help and guidance. Keep loving God, and others more and more, day by day, you will soon notice a change in yourself. Ask the Lord for His Love, His Joy, and His Peace, and then share it with all you love and meet. If at first you don`t succeed, try and try again. Jesus is with you, and God will be on your side, who can be against you, liesje? You have years to become more perfect, and always remember who is helping you to be as God made you. Be yourself. I say this humbly and with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

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[ALIOSIAS]

A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree. (Proverbs 11:28)

For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank of angels--everthing got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him. (Colossians 1:16)

Jesus said, "Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self." (Matthew 16:25)
It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone. (Ephesians 1:11)

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. (Psalm 138:8)
Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants. (Ephesians 5:17)
Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

The Lord has made everything for His own purposes. (Proberbs 16:4)

"They are my own people, and I created them to bring me glory," says the Lord. (Isaiah 43:7)

"I know what I am planning for you," says the Lord. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Albert Finch

 

[liesje]

Thanks everyone