Being open

[Kate Pneuma]

This might not be the right forum for this question, but oh well!
What does everyone think about being open with people? About feelings, your "story", etc...
I was reading something the other day that was encouraging people to share with others as this would give them new perspective as well as let them know they can also share with you.
I personally struggle with this. There are things I've never told anyone - mostly because I don't want to bother anyone with it or seem vulnerable. In fact there are some things I've been thinking about sharing with my preacher, but I don't want to take his time or irritate him with minor issues.

Any opinions?

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

This might not be the right forum for this question, but oh well!
What does everyone think about being open with people? About feelings, your "story", etc...
I was reading something the other day that was encouraging people to share with others as this would give them new perspective as well as let them know they can also share with you.
I personally struggle with this. There are things I've never told anyone - mostly because I don't want to bother anyone with it or seem vulnerable. In fact there are some things I've been thinking about sharing with my preacher, but I don't want to take his time or irritate him with minor issues.

Any opinions?

I guess it all depends on what you feel comfortable about sharing.

 

[Christie insb]

This might not be the right forum for this question, but oh well!
What does everyone think about being open with people? About feelings, your "story", etc...
I was reading something the other day that was encouraging people to share with others as this would give them new perspective as well as let them know they can also share with you.
I personally struggle with this. There are things I've never told anyone - mostly because I don't want to bother anyone with it or seem vulnerable. In fact there are some things I've been thinking about sharing with my preacher, but I don't want to take his time or irritate him with minor issues.

Any opinions?

 

[Christie insb]

I think it helps a lot for someone to listen to your story who you can trust to be non-judgmental. Your pastor may not be the right person to talk to if you think he would be irritated. A Christian therapist with professional training could be very helpful. In 12 step programs, there is a saying, "You're only as sick as the secrets you keep." For a trusted confidant to listen to your story could be very healing. For scriptural support I would cite the verse about "Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of God" and "Confess your sins one to another." I pray for you to discover that you are loved by God way more than you can imagine and that God will give you wisdom about who to talk to. We all have secrets, and if they bother you this is a good time to be open but with the right person.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I guess it all depends on what you feel comfortable about sharing.

As well as who you feel comfortable sharing it with.

Not just any recipient, but you may already have that part covered.

 

[Nithavela]

It's a great way to end up without anyone caring for you.

 

[quatona]

Thanks for the interesting and important question!

What does everyone think about being open with people? About feelings, your "story", etc...

I think it´s absolutely important. Of course, it all depends on what kind of relationship we are talking about, the topic in question and a couple of other things.

I personally struggle with this.

I suspect that we all struggle from this, more or less. It tends to touch on our deepest fears.

There are things I've never told anyone - mostly because I don't want to bother anyone with it or seem vulnerable.

In my experience, the latter is the actual reason (along with being afraid that we mightn´t be able to cope with the reaction), and the first one is our excuse, our way to rationalize our fears into altruism/compassion/empathy.
The thing is: When I am not open in personal relationships I am setting myself up for missing out on some of the greatest experiences:
- Being loved and accepted for who I am (including your faults, shortcomings, vulnerabilities, quirks,....).
- People not exploiting, capitalizing on or taking advantage of my vulnerabilities even though knowing them.
In short, I am letting my fears be my guide, and I don´t give hope/faith/love a chance to unfold their power.
I condemn myself to time and again confirming my deepest fears, in a negative self-fulfilling way.

In fact there are some things I've been thinking about sharing with my preacher, but I don't want to take his time or irritate him with minor issues.

You sure these are the real reasons?
Well, I am not a Christian, so I am not sure - but it seems your relationship with your pastor (similar to the relationship to your doctor or therapist) is not a personal one, but rather a functional and asymmetrical one. IOW, it´s not your job to shelter these "helpers" from you or to comfort them.
I am also wondering why you call those issues "minor". In whose judgement, by whose standards? The mere facts that you are considering to talk about them with your pastor and that you are hesitant to do so, suggest to me that they aren´t "minor".

 

[Strathos]

I'm not sure exactly, I would have to know the person first