Being Married

[Peter]

After nearly 18 years of being married, I've noticed an interesting way people speak about their ceremony of marriage and what happens after.

Here's what I mean, so many refer to the ceremony as "the wedding." But what is wedding? Is it not the blending of two into one? Doesn't this take time? I can certainly attest that my wife and I are not the same couple that got married in 1986. We are closer, deeper, more one. In that sense we've been "being married" for the past 18 years.

When we look at a marriage as purely a legal contract, or a way to have non-sinful sex, we've missed the point. The point of a marriage is to become one flesh, and in so doing to understand Christ's relationship with His bride better. (Since becoming Orthodox, I understand this sooooo much better.)

This concept of becoming married, like the Orthodox understanding of becoming saved, moves away us away from the idea of divorce (Christ never divorced His bride or vice versa), affairs (Christ has only one bride), and leads us to better understanding of love (as Christ loved the Church and gave Himslef up for her.) {Please, I know that Orthodox Christians get divorces and have affairs. The point is that the theology of Orthodox marriage is intended to point the proper way, we must chose to follow or not.}

For my wife and I , even though we had a ceremony 18 years ago, we can honestly say that we've been being married for almost 20 years. The binding process begings long before the ceremony, and continues long after.

The real point of this whole thing is to remind all of us that at the heart of a marriage is a relationship. And relationships require work at all times. Never stop becoming married with your spouse.

Peace.

Peter

 

[Svt4Him]

So is this to say Orthodox people don't have affairs or that you've matured and come to a fuller understanding of marriage? I haven't become orthodox, yet understand more now then I did when I was first married. Not only that, but since becoming charismatic, my children have given me a deeper understanding of what it means to call God "Father". Granted being charismatic really has nothing to do with it, just thought I'd throw that in.

 

[desi]

I thought being married was when God made man and woman one from two, which begins with the wedding. While dating my wife our relationship deepend as it has since the wedding almost 10 years ago.

 

[karla]

The real point of this whole thing is to remind all of us that at the heart of a marriage is a relationship. And relationships require work at all times. Never stop becoming married with your spouse.

Amen!!! We must also remember that that relationship consists of three people: you, your spouse, and the Lord. Many times we try to push God out of the picture and think that we can handle it all on our own. Marriage is work and the more work you put into it, the better it is.