Being honest

[Etharia]

Ok, my sisters think that I am crazy because I don't want to have my own children. I love kids and can't stand the thought of not being a mom. But the thought of having kids in no way appeals to me.

I have seen several births through the wonderful invention known as a tv.
I've seen the iv's and needles. I've been in the emergency room over 25 times, and I can't stand hospitals or needles or the smell, or nurses, or really anything to do with all of that. Plus, I have had one pelvic and would rather not have them everytime I get pregnant. Besides that, I have a privacy issue. My husband is one thing, but doctors and nurses looking and touching certain places.....ew.

Any mothers have any words of encouragement.....or anything?

 

[Judilyn]

Well, I have done it both ways. I've adopted and had 2 naturally. Both are an awesome experience. I know a lot of very healthy womwn who could have had their own children but chose to adopt. I also know a lot of women who like you were very nervous about all the medical procedures but you just kind of get use to it.

One option would be to look into homebirth or a birthing center that has a homelike atmoshere. It is less intrusive. I looked into homebirth with my son and went to homebirth meetings up until my 7 month when i developed gestational diabetes. At that point they would no longer let me deliver at home. Good thing he weighed 10 1/2 pounds, 3 weeks early!!!!
But anyway homebirth is much more intimate, you may wish to research it.

Blessings.

 

[mamaneenie]

My son was an unplanned pg. I didn't really have much choice in the matter really. I had decided I didn't want any children, but it seems that God had other ideas for us. Anyway, the pregnancy went really well, a little bit of morning sickness, and the usual tiredness, and aches and pains etc. But at the time you don't really care much. I was so in love with my unborn child, we already had his name picked out and would sing to him and talk and pray for him all the time.

Anyway, about the internal exams, it's not a big deal, it is a little horrible, but I think I just accepted that if I wanted a healthy child and to be healthy myself, the obstetrician had to do that stuff. I just remember accepting it as part of being pregnant. About the privacy issue, I am a very private person myself, but again, we're talking about giving birth to another human being. I think once you accept the fact that the doctors and nurses see it all the time, they are not actually thinking about you being naked, they just want to do what is best for you and the baby. I didn't even worry about it by the end of my pg.

About child birth, I would love to say I've experienced it. Ds was born emergency ceasarean. He nearly died, so that was traumatic. But it is all good in the end because I have a healthy almost 2 yo. Also, I love him with my life and would die for him if I had to.

I wouldn't think too much about having children yet. 19 is still young. Wait another year or two and then see how you are feeling. I remember feeling the same things you are, at the same age.

 

[HeatherJay]

It's funny, my 5 year old knows enough about the ways of the world to know that "babies live in mommies tummies and it hurts REALLY BAD when they're born." She's already informed me that she won't be having any. LOL. I told her that's fine...that she doesn't HAVE to have kids, but that she'll probably change her mind one day and actually WANT to have them after she gets married. She tells me (very matter-of-factly), "No, Mommy, I won't change my mind." Of course, on the subject of marriage, she says she'll be marrying Batman. God bless her heart, she keeps me smiling!

Both my girls were big surprises...it's funny how your mind can change when faced with the actual situation. Don't worry about it right now, Etharia But, after two of them, I can say that it was no where near as bad as I thought it would be

Love, Heather

 

[Etharia]

Thanks everyone.
I think it's mostly my distaste for hospitals, nurses, and doctors in general.
As to a home birth, I couldn't do it. I was born at home. My mom said that out of the seven kids, I was the only one born at home because after once, she wised up. I know I simply couldn't do it, I would have to have pain relievers, I have little tolerence for pain.
I get migraines regularly, and the longer I have them, the lower my threshold for pain becomes.
In all, I think actually having a baby growing inside my whomb would be aswome, but because of my past experiences, I'm just not sure if I could go through everything involved to go through a pregnancy and birth.

 

[Evening Mist]

I've had one in the hosptial and one in a birth center with a midwife. The pain was hard, but the experience was amazing. I would opt for the pain over the intrusive nature of the hospital route anyday.

There are a lot of ways to cope with the pain, and to be honest pain medications have side effects and in the long run can create discomfort too, and a longer recovery. Recovery from natural childbirth was almost instant for me. I was up dressed and running errands the next morning. Honestly.

Childbirth is not fun or easy, but it has the power to teach you amazing lessons and to shape your worldview like nothing else I've experienced. Though my hospital birth was traumatice in many ways, my natural birth was a rite of passage I would not have given up.

But you have plenty of time to decide.

 

[karla]

I hate doctors and needles also, so I completely understand. With that said, I have also had two children, unmedicated natural childbirth in the hospital. It really wasn't that bad. I am not saying that it was like going on vactions or anything, but seriously once you deliever the baby the pain seems to almost disappear because you are so focused on the life you have created. There is no amount of pain that could make be not want to do it again.