being bullied at work

[lacrosee16]

Hi!

I was wondering if anyone on here is dealing with being bullied? I am being bullied at work and I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown. I have already sought counselling, which has helped a little bit. I feel like I am trapped becasue I can't leave becasue I need the money but I feel if I stay then I am going to have a breakdown. I am harressed on a daily basis. It is constant. I have talked to my boss about it and our HR but that has only made things worse. My boss doesn't want to deal with it, she tells me that I need to quit. I have been having horrible GI problems ( a result of chronic stess). I know that I am being targeted becasue I am skinny and smart compared to the women I work with. All of the top managers think highly of me ( not my boss). I have out performed all of my coworkers simply because they don't enjoy their job as much as I do. I have felt increasingly threated and unsafe at my job. If anyone has been through this, or has any advice I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thank you for listening! God Bless !

 

[goldenviolet]

the first thing i think of is the "rat race" the compitition and social chess people can play. first: not everyone realizes they do it. some personalities are just plain rough.
with all the different personalities, and work ethics, morals, or lack of morals diversity: the public environments can very. it really depends on both the leadership, and the teamwork. i personally think that if the invironment is too stressful; it would be good to look into another choice. the good news in this is, accoordering to satistics: people who are currently employed, are hired over people who are not currently employed. and when you give your notice to leave and start another job; be frank that the team you work with has not been maintaining enough professionalism to compliment the atmosphere and work ethics. (maybe you'll either get offered a higher position/ raise to stay, severance pay to shut you up, or they will allow you to leave earlier than the notice you have, to avoid any mischeif)... lol.
anyhow. looking for another job while you are still employed will take some networking. feeling good in your employment makes life less aggitating. xo dee

 

[Lisa0315]

hmm...It sounds as if you want to stay. I am not sure how to advise you. I have not had this problem. I did when I was in school but I have never encountered such a lack of professionalism in the workplace.

Are you a Christian? That will definitely influence my advice to you.

Lisa

 

[Hawkenman]

lacrosee16, man does your story bring back memories. Bullies are lost people who feed off of other's fear. You do not have to be a master fighter to fend off a bully. Years ago I was in somewhat the same situation you are in, I would take punishment at work and come home and punish myself more. I tried reasoning with this guy, making friends, everything I could think of to no avail. Finally I couldn't take any more, I told him to do what he had to do, make it fast because I had better things to do. By this time I was so mad I didn't care if he beat me to a pulp. It is so scary to stand up to a bully for the first time. I had no more problems from this guy. But just remember, God will give you courage, I have a nephew that is 5 feet tall and weighs at least 90 lbs., he has been a prison guard for years, I asked him how he deals with the larger more aggressive prisoners. I just stand my ground and tell them to do what they've got to do, just like you said uncle T.

 

[lacrosee16]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I have been seeing a psychologists, which has been helping a lot. I am working extra at another job so I can continue to see her. A new girl was hired and we clicked. I felt really happy. The girls like to gang up on me a lot but I feel stronger. I have been standing up for myself, which has led them to "target" other girls. The only downfall is that my higher authorieties are telling my boss that I am not respecting them and now I am feeling really stressed because I overheard my boss talking and I think she is going to take corrective action towards me which means when I leave to go to school I won't be able to get another job. I had asked her a few weeks ago to be transferred becasue I couldn't take it anymore so she took a lot of offense to that and now I feel like she is doing this so I can't get a job at the same company at school. Please everyone pray that she doesn't do this so it isn't on my permanent record. I really need this job and love the company, not the people. Please, please pray for me! Please pray that God will give me strength. Thank you!


God Bless!

 

[LTRoss]

Remember, the people are a significant part of the company. I ran into this when I had a meglomaniacal boss who decided he was going to make me feel pain every day I walked through the door. I really enjoyed the nature of the work, but found that even if though it was an extremely fun job, the boss can make your life miserable if he wants to. I got hired by their competitor and had the pleasure of turning in my notice informing them I was employed at their competitor.

Also, if things are happening that violate ethical standards, make sure you document them and put the records in a manila folder labeled "attorney-client privelidged". If its a large company, ask for an obudsman and an investigation. Also, speak with a labor attorney, be truthful, and make sure nothing that is happening to you is illegal harrassment.

Typically, a company does not fear internal complaints, but when those complaints get outside their system, it is out of their control and it can be quite expensive for them, both to fight and to pay off a judgement. This, they fear. Also, your boss might be personally liable for his/her actions, which may mean you could file suit against him/her personally. Might teach him/her some humility.

Good luck and I'll be praying for you.

Best,
LT

 

[Megadylan]

you win them,there jealous. not that big of a deal. if they give u lip give them lip.

 

[BlessedLYT]

Hi!

I was wondering if anyone on here is dealing with being bullied? I am being bullied at work and I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown. I have already sought counselling, which has helped a little bit. I feel like I am trapped becasue I can't leave becasue I need the money but I feel if I stay then I am going to have a breakdown. I am harressed on a daily basis. It is constant. I have talked to my boss about it and our HR but that has only made things worse. My boss doesn't want to deal with it, she tells me that I need to quit. I have been having horrible GI problems ( a result of chronic stess). I know that I am being targeted becasue I am skinny and smart compared to the women I work with. All of the top managers think highly of me ( not my boss). I have out performed all of my coworkers simply because they don't enjoy their job as much as I do. I have felt increasingly threated and unsafe at my job. If anyone has been through this, or has any advice I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thank you for listening! God Bless !

Hi to you also!
Yeah I been through this. I am a very happy type person and people cant stand that. I only had to endure this 3 times when I was working with all females. It was getting to me to cause my boss did not want to do anything and I did not go to HR cause the lady and my boss would have been fired. I just prayed. I think them having to be there now that I am gone is punishment enough, cuase that place is a trap. I used to get sad cause I would hear them talking about me. But I prayed and God got me out of that place but the time there was terrible. I pray God take care of them and your circumstances for you.

 

[bliz]

Your company has a legal responsibility to maintain a workplace free of harassment. Depending upon the nature of what is going on, you may have a legal case. Sadly, some organi9zations only pay attention if something is going to cost them money. Make an appointment with an employment attorney. Many will charge nothing for an initial consultation, ask when you schedule an appointment. And do not waste time with anyone other than an employment lawyer because this is their field they will be mush faster and more knowledgeable than a lawyer who is

 

[Tweek]

Hi!

I was wondering if anyone on here is dealing with being bullied? I am being bullied at work and I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown. I have already sought counselling, which has helped a little bit. I feel like I am trapped becasue I can't leave becasue I need the money but I feel if I stay then I am going to have a breakdown. I am harressed on a daily basis. It is constant. I have talked to my boss about it and our HR but that has only made things worse. My boss doesn't want to deal with it, she tells me that I need to quit. I have been having horrible GI problems ( a result of chronic stess). I know that I am being targeted becasue I am skinny and smart compared to the women I work with. All of the top managers think highly of me ( not my boss). I have out performed all of my coworkers simply because they don't enjoy their job as much as I do. I have felt increasingly threated and unsafe at my job. If anyone has been through this, or has any advice I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thank you for listening! God Bless !

I've worked on third shift at Wal-Mart for six years, and I can relate. Not relate exactly -- since our circumstances are so different -- but relate nonetheless. I've had knives pulled on me "jokingly", where someone jokingly threatened me and asked me what I was going to do about it.

If someone does something like sexually harass you or threatens you, you can talk to management about it or if the threat was bad enough just call the police. That will shut everyone up really quick. Or you can sue. Sometimes if the person isn't completely evil, you can actually go up to them and ask them to leave you alone, and sometimes they will. Sometimes it doesn't work though. Just say, "Hey, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't say ......whatever they said..... to me anymore. That bothers me and I'd like you to stop." And get right in their face and stare them down.

If all else fails..... there are other jobs out there and you might find it worthwhile to get another one. I used to work at a wal-mart in my hometown but transferred to another one at a bigger city when the bullying got at its worst. I had a few problems at the new store, but they were different. Just weird associaties singing at the top of their lungs at night and annoying managers who wouldn't leave me alone. But with the managers I could get them in trouble, and I could easily just transfer to another shift, which I might do soon because one manager is getting very offensive. Always leave your options open. There are tons of jobs out there, you just have to look. You never know what you might find.

I'm shocked that your boss has told you to quit. Can you try and go above them?

 

[GodSpread]

i would advice you to pray about it.
Dont dwell about things because in your heart you need to look at God not looking at the problems.

Im not as old as all of you, but i believe that God can solve anything.

Just have faith and pray.

 

[Vehementi Dominus]

Hi!

I was wondering if anyone on here is dealing with being bullied? I am being bullied at work and I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown. I have already sought counselling, which has helped a little bit. I feel like I am trapped becasue I can't leave becasue I need the money but I feel if I stay then I am going to have a breakdown. I am harressed on a daily basis. It is constant. I have talked to my boss about it and our HR but that has only made things worse. My boss doesn't want to deal with it, she tells me that I need to quit. I have been having horrible GI problems ( a result of chronic stess). I know that I am being targeted becasue I am skinny and smart compared to the women I work with. All of the top managers think highly of me ( not my boss). I have out performed all of my coworkers simply because they don't enjoy their job as much as I do. I have felt increasingly threated and unsafe at my job. If anyone has been through this, or has any advice I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thank you for listening! God Bless !

I see two possible solutions.

The first, infinately more satisfying than the second, involves a baseball bat, steel, toe-capped boots and a little bit of stalking.

The second, involves court.

 

[awitch]

Hi!

I was wondering if anyone on here is dealing with being bullied? I am being bullied at work and I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown. I have already sought counselling, which has helped a little bit. I feel like I am trapped becasue I can't leave becasue I need the money but I feel if I stay then I am going to have a breakdown. I am harressed on a daily basis. It is constant. I have talked to my boss about it and our HR but that has only made things worse. My boss doesn't want to deal with it, she tells me that I need to quit. I have been having horrible GI problems ( a result of chronic stess). I know that I am being targeted becasue I am skinny and smart compared to the women I work with. All of the top managers think highly of me ( not my boss). I have out performed all of my coworkers simply because they don't enjoy their job as much as I do. I have felt increasingly threated and unsafe at my job. If anyone has been through this, or has any advice I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thank you for listening! God Bless !

I realize this post is a bit old, but just to throw out ideas:

If you are being threatened and HR and your boss have not taken action, start documenting everything - names, dates, places, details. Provide these complaints formally in writing to HR and your boss. Seek a lawyer and you can sue for a hostile work environment, but do not mention this to any employees. See if you can get the other top managers who DO appreciate you to provide their opinions of you in writing. Any time you deal with one of them, request a follow up of your performance in email asking if your work was to their satisfaction. Provide a copy of these positive reviews to your boss's manager and carbon copy HR and your boss.

If your boss is telling you you need to quit, then your boss does not value you for whatever reason. Request a transfer to another department, even if the position is different. You will have no chance of advancement as long as you keep your current boss.

In my opinion, no job is worth so much stress that you become physically ill and mentally distressed. It's not worth it. Get your resume updated, and start searching for new employers.

Do not interact with anyone who harasses you unless you are required to do so, and then be very professional. Do not engage in any personal discussion or arguments.

Good luck...

 

[Maranatha27]

Hi!

I was wondering if anyone on here is dealing with being bullied? I am being bullied at work and I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown. I have already sought counselling, which has helped a little bit. I feel like I am trapped becasue I can't leave becasue I need the money but I feel if I stay then I am going to have a breakdown. I am harressed on a daily basis. It is constant. I have talked to my boss about it and our HR but that has only made things worse. My boss doesn't want to deal with it, she tells me that I need to quit. I have been having horrible GI problems ( a result of chronic stess). I know that I am being targeted becasue I am skinny and smart compared to the women I work with. All of the top managers think highly of me ( not my boss). I have out performed all of my coworkers simply because they don't enjoy their job as much as I do. I have felt increasingly threated and unsafe at my job. If anyone has been through this, or has any advice I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thank you for listening! God Bless !

I can see I little pride in your statement, about being skinny and smart. Although I cant recognize it in myself (because its there) I can see it clearly in this statement. A little humility goes a long way in the work place. Just harboring those thoughts is harmful, even if its the truth.

 

[vigilantsoul]

I can see I little pride in your statement, about being skinny and smart. Although I cant recognize it in myself (because its there) I can see it clearly in this statement. A little humility goes a long way in the work place. Just harboring those thoughts is harmful, even if its the truth.

How can you tell there is pride in her statement?
Because someone may be skinny or smart, does this mean she is feeling smug or proud? It is only her observation, you can't really tell, unless she says so.
That is only a perception of others, maybe they are suffering envy and perceives the skinny and smart as pride.

 

[IowaPastor]

Hi!

I was wondering if anyone on here is dealing with being bullied? I am being bullied at work and I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown. I have already sought counselling, which has helped a little bit. I feel like I am trapped becasue I can't leave becasue I need the money but I feel if I stay then I am going to have a breakdown. I am harressed on a daily basis. It is constant. I have talked to my boss about it and our HR but that has only made things worse. My boss doesn't want to deal with it, she tells me that I need to quit. I have been having horrible GI problems ( a result of chronic stess). I know that I am being targeted becasue I am skinny and smart compared to the women I work with. All of the top managers think highly of me ( not my boss). I have out performed all of my coworkers simply because they don't enjoy their job as much as I do. I have felt increasingly threated and unsafe at my job. If anyone has been through this, or has any advice I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thank you for listening! God Bless !

A few years ago I was in a very bad job in all senses of the term...I was constantly emotionally abused, discriminated against, felt very unsafe physically, and was sexually harrassed while paid so little that I had to look up to see the poverty line.

In the end, it nearly cost me my life. I quit after two very long years. It took me two-three times longer to recover...I know that I'll be reaping the consequences of taking that job forever (God didn't want me to have it).

That doesn't address you though. I'd say to get out while you can. It's not doing your health any favors saying there. What else can you do while looking for something else?

Be Blessed,

 

[gkruger]

I would highly encourage you to pray. This would include not only praying for yourself and that god gives you the strength to face them each day but pray for the individuals that are causing this stress in your life. They obviously do not know the Lord or if they do they are not walking with them. Pray God's blessings upon them and that he opens their eyes to their own sinfullness. Pray also that God gives you eyes to see these people that he does. While you may have a difficult time liking them let along loving them, God sent his son to die for them he loves them so much.

GK

 

[Kermit_The_Frog]

get a job at a grocery store with a union. your pay can increase to up to 20 bucks an hour if you move up in the company and the harassment is a very serious thing for them the union doesnt put up with attacks