Being a Challenge

[Living4Him03]

What's this about guys wanting a challenge? Do ya'll really want a girl that plays hard to get ?? I thought guys wanted a girl that DOESN'T play games and is upfront about how she feels, but I guess not! Last night I found out quite the opposite...that guys want a girl that treats them like (badly), acts as though they don't exist, then suddenly appears again and finally decides to go out with them. This really is a strange phenomenon to me. Why would you want someone who cannot make up her mind or who would treat you that way? Do ya'll think it gets better the more serious you get or what? Don't ya'll know it just gets worse?

Are there guys out there who are tired of girls being a "challenge" to get? I was told I offer no challenge. That is really hurtful when I try to be such a good friend and to be honest about how I feel! Thoughts guys?

 

[2scoops]

I would not want a girl to be a challenge. I want a woman to be upfront and honest , not play some game called playing hard to get. If a woman wants to do that then , she is going to missout out on some great guy. All I can say is if you knows guys who just want a challenge, then they are obviously not ready for a relationship.

 

[boilerblues]

You seem to be finding the wrong guys, I gave up on wanting women who were a challenge just after I figured out I like girls. Just looking for the up front, honest, woman who loves Jesus.

 

[the_man]

Hehe, you packed a lot of stuff in that post, I'll try to decipher it.

What's this about guys wanting a challenge?Do ya'll really want a girl that plays hard to get ?? I thought guys wanted a girl that DOESN'T play games and is upfront about how she feels, but I guess not!

When a guy says he wants a woman that is a challenge, what he really means is he does NOT want a woman that thinks he is a 'god'. (I would argue the same thing from a woman's perspective...women don't want guys that think they are a 'goddess' either).

Last night I found out quite the opposite...that guys want a girl that treats them like (badly), acts as though they don't exist, then suddenly appears again and finally decides to go out with them. This really is a strange phenomenon to me. Why would you want someone who cannot make up her mind or who would treat you that way? Do ya'll think it gets better the more serious you get or what? Don't ya'll know it just gets worse?

We should becareful to qualify that as 'some' guys. If a girl does not respect me or my time, then I cannot continue to view her as a romantic interest. Some guys tho, are desperate enough that they will take her anyway they can.

Are there guys out there who are tired of girls being a "challenge" to get?

I can only speak for myself, if a woman does not "challenge" me, I will get bored with her quick. However, we might be talking about totally different "challenges". That is, if I can't intellectualy rumble with her, or she doesn't challenge my walk with God, she doesn't call me out when i'm out of line...then that's not someone I want to be in a relationship. If she acts rude to me or treats me with disrespect....that's not a challenge...that is acting rude and disrespectful.

I was told I offer no challenge. That is really hurtful when I try to be such a good friend and to be honest about how I feel! Thoughts guys?

For that particular guy, maybe you don't. That's no more his fault than it is yours. Or maybe he doesn't know a good thing when he sees it. Then that is his loss. Either way, that guy is not for you.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

What's this about guys wanting a challenge? Do ya'll really want a girl that plays hard to get ?? I thought guys wanted a girl that DOESN'T play games and is upfront about how she feels, but I guess not! Last night I found out quite the opposite...that guys want a girl that treats them like (badly), acts as though they don't exist, then suddenly appears again and finally decides to go out with them. This really is a strange phenomenon to me. Why would you want someone who cannot make up her mind or who would treat you that way? Do ya'll think it gets better the more serious you get or what? Don't ya'll know it just gets worse?

Are there guys out there who are tired of girls being a "challenge" to get? I was told I offer no challenge. That is really hurtful when I try to be such a good friend and to be honest about how I feel! Thoughts guys?

I ask myself the same thing about women all the time. Why do they prefer guys that treat them like dirt?

I'll never know. And me, I hate when girls play games. I've had this conversation before:

girl: "Why didn't you call me."
Me: "I did, you never called me back."
girl; "Well yeah, but you only called me once."

 

[OhhJim]

Last night I found out quite the opposite...that guys want a girl that treats them like (badly), acts as though they don't exist, then suddenly appears again and finally decides to go out with them.

Where are you getting this information? I thought the Iraqi Information Minister had retired!

http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/

 

[Sketcher]

Listen to the_man, he posted a lot of good advice. Ideally, a woman would be "challenging" without playing those wierd games. I don't pursue any relationship on any level with anybody if I get the impression that I am being ignored or rejected. Life is too short to pursue friendships with the unfriendly.

 

[nhzname]

...women don't want guys that think they are a 'goddess' either).

... if I can't intellectualy rumble with her, or she doesn't challenge my walk with God, she doesn't call me out when i'm out of line...then that's not someone I want to be in a relationship. If she acts rude to me or treats me with disrespect....that's not a challenge...that is acting rude and disrespectful.

to that. Good points here from a girls point of view, IMO. Nothing worse than a guy that wants me to be some sort of trophy on his arm...been there done that ... boooring ... which leads to the next point ... intellectually challenging. If we can't carry on a conversation outside of "Hey baby, looking good!" what's the point. Don't waste my time. For one, that attitude alone is disrespectful and clearly shows how the brain's functioning ... or NOT. Plus, if we aren't willing to mutually stimulate each other to grow in Christ, the relationship is going nowhere ... fast. Maybe its just me, but I really find nothing more interesting than talking bout and living for Jesus.

 

[Inperfected]

i heard in "10 commandments of dating" that a guy wants a car. Challenge, Attractive and respect. The challenge is important, ie you give into him and he'll get bored, (this isn't meaning argue constantly...) attractive, ie you need to be somewhat attactive to him..and give him respect, but also to have him being able to respect you....

 

[Living4Him03]

well i am sure as you know what not a car and I don't plan to be, I am a human being. So whoever wrote that book is full of it.

 

[Highland Watchman]

I'd agree with the_man.

Regarding the hard-to-get thing, I'm not usually brought in with that lure. I admit that I may be rather dense a lot of the time when it comes to these little flirtatious hints and such, but if it seems that the girl is not interested, what's the point of even dreaming of the possibilities?

On the other hand, the seemingly desperate Greg-is-a-god type is also something that kind of sets me to running away as well. I don't really want someone who worships me or who follows so close to me and waiting on me hand and foot. I know I need my space, and can get rather cranky if I don't get enough of it at times...

I more want someone who can be my friend, someone I can rely on and confide in, who can challenge me intellectually, spiritually, etc. Hm... car, hm? Well, I was just thinking of investing in a car, actually. I don't think I'll marry the car, though . Interesting metaphor. I wonder where the "respect" comes in in the car type of relationship, though...

 

[fishstix]

What's this about guys wanting a challenge? Do ya'll really want a girl that plays hard to get ?? I thought guys wanted a girl that DOESN'T play games and is upfront about how she feels, but I guess not! Last night I found out quite the opposite...that guys want a girl that treats them like (badly), acts as though they don't exist, then suddenly appears again and finally decides to go out with them. This really is a strange phenomenon to me. Why would you want someone who cannot make up her mind or who would treat you that way? Do ya'll think it gets better the more serious you get or what? Don't ya'll know it just gets worse?

Are there guys out there who are tired of girls being a "challenge" to get? I was told I offer no challenge. That is really hurtful when I try to be such a good friend and to be honest about how I feel! Thoughts guys?

You can't make generalizations about all men based on a few men. Men are individuals. Some men may indeed want a girl who plays games like 'hard to get'. But other men want girls who do not play those games. Don't ask other men to answer for the actions/preferences of any other man. No one knows why he acted the way he did but him (and God). No one knows just why he has the preferences he does but him (and God). If you want to attract a guy, be the unique woman who God wants you to be. Not all guys will be attracted to that woman, but some will.

 

[KeilCoppes]

.... I was told I offer no challenge. That is really hurtful when I try to be such a good friend and to be honest about how I feel! Thoughts guys?

Little boys want to "win" something to make themselves feel accomplished. Men find themselves accomplished when they are true and appreciated. And yet, a twinkle of the eye and a bit of teasing is a good thing. It's good to have some depths within yourself - those offer the possibility of growth. :^)

Interest comes from interchange, exchange, and taking turns.

 

[JPPT1974]

Little boys want to "win" something to make themselves feel accomplished. Men find themselves accomplished when they are true and appreciated. And yet, a twinkle of the eye and a bit of teasing is a good thing. It's good to have some depths within yourself - those offer the possibility of growth. :^)

Interest comes from interchange, exchange, and taking turns.

Men are much more competative than women are. Because they want to win very badly as they wear their emotions about winning on their sleeves.

 

[Inperfected]

I think i need to explain it better....

The challenge, it ties in with the respect. I was not, in any way or form, talking about a girl who plays games. I am talking about a girl who will not say yes without thinking about going out with you, who will not try and do sexual stuff with you, who will not fall at your feet in adoration, but fall at gods, whos heart you have to have second place in, because god will always be first.

The attractiveness. I think if everyone admits it they want someone attractive. I'm not saying the person they look at and say "oooo i like you" is attractive, but "THRROUGH THEIR EYES" must be attractive. In my experience, i don't find many guys attractive until i like them, and then their looks are incrediable. In the same way, if a guy is put off by a girls looks, then he will not want her.

Respect. Now i think i didn't explain my self properly here... Mutual Respect i meant. We are talking about someone who will respect the guy, his views, his body, his friendship, his relationship with god. But also a girl who can be respected by the guy. Someone who he can look up to in a sense, while she looks up to him. Someone that he can trust. A girl who is in to sexul acts, often will not be respected by guys, so we are talking girls who long after gods heart really...

I hope it makes it a little clearer

Interest comes from interchange, exchange, and taking turns.

Very true quote.
and from my experience of men under 20... and note those words "in my experience" guys do want a challenge, and are competitive...

 

[KeilCoppes]

Respect. Now i think i didn't explain my self properly here... Mutual Respect i meant. We are talking about someone who will respect the guy, his views, his body, his friendship, his relationship with god. But also a girl who can be respected by the guy. Someone who he can look up to in a sense, while she looks up to him. Someone that he can trust. ... so we are talking girls who long after gods heart really...

Keep it right there on the line - that's exactly the place to be.

The girl after God's own heart is truly attractive, not just the half-attractive of the outside paired with an unattractive (and often ungodly) inside.

 

[Inperfected]

Thats exactly my meaning. The guys wanting the attractiveness of a girls personality...

 

[goat37]

I know, personally speaking, that I do enjoy a girl that is a challenge... Why?

Because it shows me a girl has enough confidence in herself to know that she is worth someone putting in the effort to try to really to get to know her better.

Plus... the hunt can be just as exciting as the catch!

I agree with what was said that playing games is bad... but playing a little hard to get and me having to work for her, it's fun in my opinion. Especially when you finally wear her down and she admits that she is interested... I dunno, I guess it just gives a nice boost to the male ego.

 

[Living4Him03]

you just contradicted yourself. you said games are bad, yet you find them fun as well.

I think a lot of "bad boys" see me as challenging because I refuse to date them. If you can't clean up your past, I'm sorry, but I'm not going out with you. Some are still bad boys and it seems like those guys prey after "good" girls. I just don't get it. The only reason they do it is because I don't fall all over them like other girls do. I can't stand being pursued by those guys.

 

[goat37]

you just contradicted yourself. you said games are bad, yet you find them fun as well.

Playing hard to get is NOT a game, at least not in the way that I mean for that term to be used. Games is playing with someones emotions... acting like you are interested, then blowing them off... telling them you'll call and then not, and then apologize and say they want to try to get together again.