I totally understand where you are coming from. It is so easy to become dependent on someone for everything. I do believe that this sets the stage for "mental abuse." Perhaps when you acquire more independence, you will be able to restore your marriage. The dynamics will be different and he will not have the luxury of using your dependence against you, or belittling you for it. It's a hard rut to get out of, for both people in the relationship.
I say this because it is what happened with my own parents. When they embarked on divorce, my mother had to get a job and start learning to provide for herself. When she did this, she was better able to understand my dad, and my dad has less leverage over her, and together that made them a lot closer and they did not divorce after all.
I am not offering an opinion one way or the other on your divorce, but I believe that achieving independence will be good for you. Although my situation is different, I just began working again this year and it has been a humbling experience. I never realized just how many basic things I had to learn, how much I have to depend on others to tackle problems, and how difficult it is to be professional and helpful and accommodating to customers' needs. But I have already learned a lot of practical skills and feel much better about my abilities. It has been so good for me to have this challenge in my life, because I am constantly starting my day in prayer and asking for God's guidance in every little detail. I had been neglecting that when my life was a little easier. No matter what kind of job you get, it will be hard at first, if you are not used to working. Use this opportunity to depend on God and tackle each challenge in prayer. I've made some mistakes already, and I have to remember not to stress about them, but instead to not make them again. There have been tasks I found myself unable to do, lacking knowledge and skills, and I have just had to work through them and learn how. I have upset customers and had to resist making excuses or getting angry, and just accept that as a newbie I am going to make mistakes and people are going to get upset. It has taught me to be patient with others, though. You will probably face these problems too. Just do your best and remember that everyone starts out this way. But you will learn how to do any job, and also manage your lifestyle, all in time and with prayer.
Best of luck.
