Been drinking a bit much lately and worried...

[Unity9475]

I've been getting really drunk about once or twice a week to the point where I don't remember what I do(I drink at home mind you) and wake up with black and blue marks, unaware of how they got there. Also, my husband and I are swingers(sex with other couples) and I don't want to do that anymore. Please include me in your prayers. When we meet couples I get so messed up I end up doing wild things that I normally wouldn't do(mind you I play it safe though). I feel like my husband would be so mad if I tell him I don't want to swing anymore, he enjoys it so much but I don't.
This is the first time I'm actually admitting this(alcoholism)...and I believe that is the first step to recovery. Alcoholism runs on both sides of my family, I'm not putting the full blame on my drinking as a result of that but thought it was worth mentioning. I really don't want to go to meetings because firstly, I don't like to drive after being in a car accident, I wasn't hurt but it was a hard hit and I'm paranoid to drive. So is there any online help? Any suggestions? I don't want to become an alcoholic, well I think I'm there but not severely.
Any words of wisdom is helpful.

 

[madison1101]

I've been getting really drunk about once or twice a week to the point where I don't remember what I do(I drink at home mind you) and wake up with black and blue marks, unaware of how they got there. Also, my husband and I are swingers(sex with other couples) and I don't want to do that anymore. Please include me in your prayers. When we meet couples I get so messed up I end up doing wild things that I normally wouldn't do(mind you I play it safe though). I feel like my husband would be so mad if I tell him I don't want to swing anymore, he enjoys it so much but I don't.
This is the first time I'm actually admitting this(alcoholism)...and I believe that is the first step to recovery. Alcoholism runs on both sides of my family, I'm not putting the full blame on my drinking as a result of that but thought it was worth mentioning. I really don't want to go to meetings because firstly, I don't like to drive after being in a car accident, I wasn't hurt but it was a hard hit and I'm paranoid to drive. So is there any online help? Any suggestions? I don't want to become an alcoholic, well I think I'm there but not severely.
Any words of wisdom is helpful.

Wow, what a ton of pain you are in. I really feel your pain and confusion here.

First, the alcoholism. If you are an alcoholic, you are taking the first steps by asking for help. That is huge. There is a lot of support online, but the best support is face to face, at meetings. The beauty of AA is that people will drive you to meetings if you can't drive. There are plenty of people in AA who are unable to drive because of losing their licenses to DUIs and they get rides all the time. If you call an AA phone number in your area and ask for help, you can get rides from other women.

In the meantime, you can read the AA Big Book online at Alcoholics Anonymous : That is their website, and has a ton of information, including meetings information, the steps and even phone numbers, I believe.

As for your swinging relationship, does the word adultery mean anything to you or your husband? Are either of you Christians? If you are Christians, then your sex life should be in keeping with what it says in 1 Corinthians, chapters 6 and 7, come to mind.

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

The reason I am addressing this is that shame over my sexual sins was a huge factor in my drinking, when I drank. There is a relationship between my shame and my drinking. I suggest you seek therapy for your complex marriage issues, concerning the sex, and possibly marital therapy.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[Unity9475]

Thank you very much for the reply, I'm going to look into AA.

 

[madison1101]

The AA Big Book says, "Self-knowledge avails us nothing." Dr. Bob, a co-founder of alcoholism, was a hopeless alcoholic in a sanitarium when Bill Wilson went to help him get sober. If alcoholism can defeat a medical professional, it stands to reason that it can defeat any person, regardless of all the nutritional education they get here, or on the Internet.

I reiterate, any person struggling with alcohol should check out the AA website at Alcoholics Anonymous :, and go to a meeting where they can learn how millions of hopeless alcoholics, like me, have stopped drinking, One Day At A Time.

 

[shawn222]

Yes.. i do beleive the first step IS admitting your problem with alchohol.

I will keep you in my prayers. I know how it feels to have alchohol affect your life in negative ways... first hand.