Bad thoughts

[veganbunny]

I have suffered from depression for 7 years, and have noticed that there will always be good and bad days. Its just, I have been doing a lot better these past couple of weeks, due to my growing strength in God. But today I got some voices again, saying evil things and disrespecting me, and my faith.

I now feel as though I am unworthy of God, as these voices are part of me, so in a way it is me who is to blame for these "uncontrolable" thoughts.

My new years was ok I guess, but I stressed myself out too much.

I'm sorry for wasting your time.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I have suffered from depression for 7 years, and have noticed that there will always be good and bad days. Its just, I have been doing a lot better these past couple of weeks, due to my growing strength in God. But today I got some voices again, saying evil things and disrespecting me, and my faith.

I now feel as though I am unworthy of God, as these voices are part of me, so in a way it is me who is to blame for these "uncontrolable" thoughts.

My new years was ok I guess, but I stressed myself out too much.

I'm sorry for wasting your time.

Not at all, sis! You're not wasting anyone's time.

I can relate to what you've said. As we draw closer to G-d, it annoys (to put it politely) the enemy. Ephesians 6:12 sprang to mind in terms of negative thoughts placed in our heads. But essentially any negative thoughts against you are there to try to trap you into believing them and to stop you from believing that you're loved. They are lies, and their purpose is to try to kick you while you're down.

The way that I've coped in the past and as recently as Saturday, has been to remember the following things and to read them out loud:

I renounce the lie that I am worthless, inadequate, helpless, or hopeless, I renounce anything spoken against me and my L-rd, because in Christ I am deeply significant. G-d says that;

1) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (Phillippians 4:13)

2) I may approach G-d with freedom and confidence (see Ephesians 3:12)

3) I am G-d's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works (see Ephesians 2:10)

You may find that thoughts will come to you that it's a waste of time etc, or it doesn't apply to you etc, but I found that when I've said this out loud it helped.

Just keep remembering that G-d sees you as such a precious gift and He loves you more than anything.

Big 's to you!

 

[phoenixgw]

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (1 Cor. 7:24,25a NIV).

In ancient times, a punishment for murder was to strap the body of the corpse to the murderer until the rot from the corpse seeped into the murderer, delivering an agonizing, torturous death.

As Christians, we will always have the corpse of our past life before Calvary strapped to our backs, but we can lessen the pain by faithfully grasping our "pardon" & tending to our "corpse."

The agony of my torment (which included depression) led me to Calvary, but my depression actually got in the way of learning the lesson Jesus really wanted me to learn. Too often we needlessly carry the sins of our ancestors on our backs, thinking that these are trials by God, when they are in fact, self-induced punishment for sins forgiven 2000 years ago.

I can't tell you how many times I screamed at God to give back what was 'stolen' from me. Through trial & error, I finally escaped depression after 30 years. That was 4 months ago. Words can't describe the elation I felt after being trapped for 30 years in that "black hole."

However, after living depression-free for months, I realized that the person I longed to recover was actually the "murderer" who had been pardoned at Calvary--I felt so foolish, so ashamed. Jesus saved me from myself. I was no longer depressed, but a "murderer" at heart.

Now I realize I no longer have a life of my own. If I don't wake up asking Jesus, the Lord (boss) of my life what is on the agenda today, I am destined to endure the torture of the murderer once again. I feel like a wild animal sometimes, being domesticated by the Holy Spirit. I fought Jesus as long as I could, but in the end, I gave up my life for His, just as He did for me 2000 years ago.

I waited close to 30 years before the agony of that body of death put me in psychiatric care. Voices in one's head could be demonic, but given the depression, it is more likely early signs of paranoid schizophrenia, a degenerative disorder of your "corpse." Dealing with this problem may open your eyes to a greater problem Jesus wants you to deal with.

If God wants to test (purify) your faith, don't worry, He has many trials at His disposal. In the meantime, you may want to tend to your corpse by praying, seeking the counsel of a pastor, then getting the elders of a church to pray for healing, followed by psychiatric counseling/care if necessary.

What isn't necessary is for you to suffer for sins forgiven long ago. "By His stripes we are healed" (1 Peter 2:24).

Looking to other Christians is never a waste of anybody's time, sister, especially when they move with the hand that moves the world by praying. I will pray that the Spirit of wisdom & truth lights your way through the darkness.

 

[veganbunny]

Thank you so much for your advice and words of wisdom. I just am having such a hard evening, and feel as though I am falling apart! I guess I need to distract myself from my bad thoughts.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

One of my colleagues at work had also told me once to play some worship songs when I feel down, to take my mind off whatever is troubling me.

But we're all here for you

 

[shadowgem]

Hi veganbunny,

You're not wasting anyone's time at all - we all need support from time and time. I know what it's like to have bad thoughts because I used to have psychotic depression - hearing negative and bad thoughts all the time. I think the advice about listening to worship music was excellent - also sometimes I found classical worked really well. Make sure you're getting a balanced diet, drinking enough and resting adequately as well as a dose of exercise and social time - be kind to yourself.

Sometimes it helps to check out difficult thoughts with other Christians so don't hesitate to do this and they may be able to direct you to helpful scriptures.

(Some people at our church have found the book by Joyce Meyer called The Battlefield of the Mind helpful. Also books by Neil Anderson have been helpful).

 

[Jeshu]

I have suffered from depression for 7 years, and have noticed that there will always be good and bad days. Its just, I have been doing a lot better these past couple of weeks, due to my growing strength in God. But today I got some voices again, saying evil things and disrespecting me, and my faith.

I now feel as though I am unworthy of God, as these voices are part of me, so in a way it is me who is to blame for these "uncontrolable" thoughts.

My new years was ok I guess, but I stressed myself out too much.

I'm sorry for wasting your time.

Hi friend and sister.

I know these 'voices' - no respect, love or truth in what 'they' have got to say. Just spiritual anguish if we believe them - and it is so hard not to - as the voices, shout, jeer, whisper it into our 'ears' all day long.

My dear fellow suffer you need adjustment of your medication, I advise you to go and see your doctor.

As far as you feeling unworthy concerns that feeling comes because you BELIEVE the voices. I KNOW how hard it is NOT to do that. It took me ages to learn to understand that believing lies about our inner being makes us very unhappy. Ask Jesus to help you with this and READ the Bible's promises to you as much as you can as the voices can't compete with the Truth of God's Love for you.

Gerry

 

[UnitynLove]

You have to speak to those spirits like Jesus did in the wilderness. Proclaim the word of God out of your mouth when the lies of Satan attacks you. Besides since Satan is the King of lies whatever he says just turn it over to the opposite. Whenever he says your not going make it, you should thank God that he has given you the victory. The liar is a conformation of God's goodness for you. Amen.

 

[veganbunny]

thank you.

I have been told once that I have "obsessive depression" which is the step dowm from pychotic depression, apparently. I have a theripist who visits me once a week, but I haven't seen her for a while because of Christmas.

 

[shadowgem]

Glad to hear from you. I hadn't heard of obsessive depression but if it's similar to psychotic depression you have my sympathy.

I'm still seeing a psychologist who's been incredibly helpful. Feel free to pm me anytime.