Hi.
This is a long story...
I'm a 23 years old girl and I came to Australia as an International student...
Filled with expectations and exitement of course. I am a Christian and when I came here I thought I also wanted to start helping people.
So then God sent me this girl, who was complete disaster. Also international student. I've never encountered a person with so much mess and bad stories. Political refugee, abused, raped, depressed, cheated on by her bf for 5 years and so on... And so filled with anger, hate etc...
Anyhow,we lived 5 minutes away from each other and she usually called me to come around and comfort her and take care of her.
I had a lot of compassion for her as a Christian and I knew that I could help.
But it was such a trial for me, as I had enough coping with my studies and new situation here.
We went on a holiday together to a different city and this was a good getaway. Her mental health had improved alot as well.
But when we came back she got a notice that she was thrown out from her house and asked me if i wanted to move together with her. I was quite reluctant at first, cause i knew it wouldn't be good for me as a Christian.
I did it anyway... And it turned she fooled me or got fooled and the rent was higher than expected.... i got scholarhip from my government thank god, but at the end of the semester i had no money left... i had been trying to find a job, but was too busy since this was my first year at uni and also in a different country. Now its ok since i got my new scholarship.
She also told me that after the holiday she was actually planning to kill herself and that this trip was sort of her goodbye.. I was honestly shocked, but didn't show it then. I just supported her. I also feel know how selfish it actually was considering how much I have done for her...
She also met a guy on the trip and this all went straight to h***, because she was not stable and also has no clue how to be in a relationship. Everyday I had to listen to her hate towardsand him and anger and everytime I told her to forgive and love...and so on.
In the beginning I spent many nights beside her, comforting her and praying for her. I never complained, i was never angry with her. I was always there for her.
And I've felt commited to helping her.
Now I just want to get out of the flat we are sharing and our lease ends in the 1 month. I kinda mentioned it to her, and then she wondered if im tired of her.... I dont want to be selfish, but i honestly have to, cause the only thing ive done since i came here is to take care of her i feel.
I think my grades got worse as well and that havent had time to get new friends or maintain the frienships ive made. I had a dream and different plan for my stay here and now I feel so
discontent with the situation i just want to get away from her.
She doesnt really have any other friends and no one to spend x-mas with.
My family is coming for x-mas and i told her she can come along for some trips. But now she is talking like she wants to be with me all the time.
I am also dating a guy in a different city and i want to go and see him for a weekend after x-mas and then she said i dont want to be alone so can i come? and i really dont want that. It feels like she wants to take everything thats mine, and is starting to get clingy and i cant breathe anymore. I want my life back. I try to show her that she has to take responsibility for her own life and get some friends but....
Is it selfish to think this? I just wanted to help her and i know that this relation was only meant for that.
I should only have helped her from a distance and not moved in with her.
I just want to move and get my life back, but i almost lost it all while helping her. All my time i dedicated to her.
I love her and i dont want any bitterness between us. Behind it all she is good I know, but I want to put it all in God's hands and be free.
I have no more strenght to deal with this.
Sorry for the long story!!
Please pray for a solution now and wisdom.
This is a long story...
I'm a 23 years old girl and I came to Australia as an International student...
Filled with expectations and exitement of course. I am a Christian and when I came here I thought I also wanted to start helping people.
So then God sent me this girl, who was complete disaster. Also international student. I've never encountered a person with so much mess and bad stories. Political refugee, abused, raped, depressed, cheated on by her bf for 5 years and so on... And so filled with anger, hate etc...
Anyhow,we lived 5 minutes away from each other and she usually called me to come around and comfort her and take care of her.
I had a lot of compassion for her as a Christian and I knew that I could help.
But it was such a trial for me, as I had enough coping with my studies and new situation here.
We went on a holiday together to a different city and this was a good getaway. Her mental health had improved alot as well.
But when we came back she got a notice that she was thrown out from her house and asked me if i wanted to move together with her. I was quite reluctant at first, cause i knew it wouldn't be good for me as a Christian.
I did it anyway... And it turned she fooled me or got fooled and the rent was higher than expected.... i got scholarhip from my government thank god, but at the end of the semester i had no money left... i had been trying to find a job, but was too busy since this was my first year at uni and also in a different country. Now its ok since i got my new scholarship.
She also told me that after the holiday she was actually planning to kill herself and that this trip was sort of her goodbye.. I was honestly shocked, but didn't show it then. I just supported her. I also feel know how selfish it actually was considering how much I have done for her...
She also met a guy on the trip and this all went straight to h***, because she was not stable and also has no clue how to be in a relationship. Everyday I had to listen to her hate towardsand him and anger and everytime I told her to forgive and love...and so on.
In the beginning I spent many nights beside her, comforting her and praying for her. I never complained, i was never angry with her. I was always there for her.
And I've felt commited to helping her.
Now I just want to get out of the flat we are sharing and our lease ends in the 1 month. I kinda mentioned it to her, and then she wondered if im tired of her.... I dont want to be selfish, but i honestly have to, cause the only thing ive done since i came here is to take care of her i feel.
I think my grades got worse as well and that havent had time to get new friends or maintain the frienships ive made. I had a dream and different plan for my stay here and now I feel so
discontent with the situation i just want to get away from her.
She doesnt really have any other friends and no one to spend x-mas with.
My family is coming for x-mas and i told her she can come along for some trips. But now she is talking like she wants to be with me all the time.
I am also dating a guy in a different city and i want to go and see him for a weekend after x-mas and then she said i dont want to be alone so can i come? and i really dont want that. It feels like she wants to take everything thats mine, and is starting to get clingy and i cant breathe anymore. I want my life back. I try to show her that she has to take responsibility for her own life and get some friends but....
Is it selfish to think this? I just wanted to help her and i know that this relation was only meant for that.
I should only have helped her from a distance and not moved in with her.
I just want to move and get my life back, but i almost lost it all while helping her. All my time i dedicated to her.
I love her and i dont want any bitterness between us. Behind it all she is good I know, but I want to put it all in God's hands and be free.
I have no more strenght to deal with this.
Sorry for the long story!!
Please pray for a solution now and wisdom.
