Bad Poetry

[lemonflavor]

I've only written two poems in my life, this being the second. It was written in a bout of further depression last night, when the numbness temporarily lifted.

Unseen Suffering

It's there
it's always there

Often unseen by others
often not wanting to be seen

Not always fully seen by myself
numb to the pain

Except for the times when the numbness recedes
when it is fully felt

What is my life?
How did this happen?

How can I live like this?
It's too long

Where else can I go?
I will never stray from the shelter of His wing

HE is my escape
where else can I go?

 

[GreyWolf]

I didn't think it was bad.

 

[Alaskamomma]

quite good actually. well done!

 

[Alive again]

I've only written two poems in my life, this being the second. It was written in a bout of further depression last night, when the numbness temporarily lifted.

Unseen Suffering

It's there
it's always there

Often unseen by others
often not wanting to be seen

Not always fully seen by myself
numb to the pain

Except for the times when the numbness recedes
when it is fully felt

What is my life?
How did this happen?

How can I live like this?
It's too long

Where else can I go?
I will never stray from the shelter of His wing

HE is my escape
where else can I go?

Wonderful and oh so true!

 

[lmarie23]

i like your poem. it resonates with me and is clearly expressed.

i have posted a few poems on the depression board. In case you like reading poetry, i'll share the links with you. http://www.christianforums.com/t5253751-a-poem-i-wrote.html http://www.christianforums.com/t5269335-new-poem-about-gods-love.html

and here's one not on a link, that i wrote in the mental hospital:

I am a butterfly.

My day is now, but I cannot capture it.

For my wings are tattered and broken.

Children, playing in the meadow that is my home, keep spotting me.

The flash of color, the movement, the delicacy of my frame fascinates them.

Before I know it, the flower I am resting on, gaining nourishment from, has vanished from my sight.

Clear walls surround me.

I see the blue sky beyond, beckoning me.

But everywhere I go I hit a wall.

The wall is clear, and it seems only I can see it.

Since it is clear, and the beautiful outdoors seems so close, I crash again and again, longing for my former freedom.

Finally the wall disappears, only to be replaced by a new set of walls.

It doesn't matter; a wall is a wall.

The more walls, the more accidents, the more times I fall.

I love the children's attention but I wish they would let me fly free.

They watch me, fascinated with my hypnotic colors, shapes and form.

But this love, this love they give me, it is suffocating me.

As a person cannot live long in a jail cell and still retain their color and spirit, so I must be let out, so that I can try to fly as I am, tattered and hurt may I be.

By protecting me, they are defeating me.

For I am not a dangerous glass-jar butterfly.

I cannot be. Such a thing does not exist.

Butterflies are not dangerous, as it is contrary to their very nature and spirit to be dangerous.

And I am not a snake disguised as a butterfly.

I am simply a butterfly, and I belong in the garden of life.



Lynne

 

[bytheghost]

that poem was beautiful, and i relate. keep writing them and sharing them. we have to open our wounds sometimes. and writing is a great way to share your feelings.

 

[lemonflavor]

As I mourn
I want You more

As I thirst
I thirst for more

As I cry
I cry for more

I long for You
I long for heaven

Though it doesn't come now
Keep me able to sustain my will to accept and do your will

Day and night I mourn
Bless me according to your will

When will my thirst be quenched?
and my tears stop?

Will I have to wait for heaven,
so far away?

If it is Your will,
only You can sustain me

Narrow my vision
so that I see more and more of you

As I go through the valley
help your presence to be a comfort to me

 

[Alive again]

lemonflavor,

so glad to hear from you again. I was wondering if you were about and how you were.

Your poem answers those questions. I do not know the words to express the beauty and brittleness and raw honesty I hear in your words. It echoes so directly to me of many of David's Psalms.

May God shelter you in the shadow of His wing.

 

[goldenviolet]

my personal opinion as an award winning published poet:

all poetry is valid. rather showing the darkness in reality or the glimpses of the true Poet's artisty. look through spalsm, ecclesiasties, and the song of solomon. even other places in the bible; exspressions of life are just this. an exspression of the truth the writer tastes.