Bad parent moment

[Leanna]

Today is my long day, we don't have a car to go out anywhere and shouldn't because we need to save money anyway... my husband is gone all day and until late night. Its on days like these that I begin to think of what an inadequate parent I am. I know its not entirely true, David and I play together and work together on things... but we both get BORED being at home. He is only one and so there are a lot of things he can't do yet, and everytime he gets bored with me playing with him I find myself sneaking on here and posting something else. I did the alundry and the dishes already and.... yeah I just feel bored. So then I feel like a bad parent because I am not teaching David enough and because I feel this way. I am an extrovert and I wish I could find a mommy-baby play group or something... sometimes I feel like I am not cut out to be a SAHM, but my husband and I are personally against day care.... also most of the time I love it... but sometimes I see those "perfect parents," you know the ones who bake a pie from scratch daily and have 8 kids at home that they are homeschooling individually... lol..... wow

 

[rocklife]

I was able to find activities in a family/entertainment tourist type magazine called "Our kids" I found Gymboree there (great little class for social times, baby proofed), at 2-3 years old, we did a mommy and me baby gym class (unstructured, that's how my son liked it, but there are structured ones out there too)

bubbles are also a great toy, they love bubbles, and books

but, Gymboree was my thing to get me out of the slump similar to yours, also parks and stroller walks, listening to walkmen-bible on tapes

 

[VHOLLOWAY]

THINGS ARE ALITTLE DIFFRENT I WORK MON THRU FRI MY HUSBAND DOES NOT WORK AND OUR SON GOES TO HEADSTART. I AM THE SAME I HAVE TO BE ON THE GO. SO ON THE WEEKENDS I WANT TO GO, GO, GO. WE ARE MOVING INTO A NEW HOUSE SOON AND NEED ALL THE MONEY WE CAN SAVE. I FIND THAT O AM NOT A BAD PARENT BECAUSE OF THIS I AM MEARLY FIGHTING MY FLESH. YOU ARE BEING SHARPENED. THE DEVIL WILL TRY TO PUT ANY THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD YOU MUST TELL HIM TO LEAVE IN JESUS NAME. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT SCRAP BOOKING THE OLD FASHON OR CHEEP WAY. UNLIKE TODAYS WAYS YOU USE THE THINGS FROM YOUR FAMILY TIMES, INDIVIDUAL TIMES, AND SO FORTH. THE LITTLE KEEPSAKS CONSTUCTION PAPER, GLUE, CRAYONS, MARKERS, GLITTER. THINGS LIKE THAT IF YOU FEEL MONEY IS A OBJECT, THEN TELL YOUR HUSBAND WHATS UP AND ASK HIM IF YALL CAN SPARE THE MONEY FOR THOOSE THINGS WHILE ATT THE TIME YOU CAN HAVE DAVID AT YOUR SIDE AND EVEN LET HIM LEARN SOME THINGS LIKE COLORING AND STUFF IT MAY SEEM SILLY BUT I HAS HELPED ME ALOT HOPE YOU FIND SOMTHING THAT WILL HELP PS A GREAT MOM IS ONE WHO IS CONCERNED ABOUT THE WELL BEING OF HER CHILD AND YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE HITTING THAT MARK

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Today is my long day, we don't have a car to go out anywhere and shouldn't because we need to save money anyway... my husband is gone all day and until late night. Its on days like these that I begin to think of what an inadequate parent I am. I know its not entirely true, David and I play together and work together on things... but we both get BORED being at home. He is only one and so there are a lot of things he can't do yet, and everytime he gets bored with me playing with him I find myself sneaking on here and posting something else. I did the alundry and the dishes already and.... yeah I just feel bored. So then I feel like a bad parent because I am not teaching David enough and because I feel this way. I am an extrovert and I wish I could find a mommy-baby play group or something... sometimes I feel like I am not cut out to be a SAHM, but my husband and I are personally against day care.... also most of the time I love it... but sometimes I see those "perfect parents," you know the ones who bake a pie from scratch daily and have 8 kids at home that they are homeschooling individually... lol..... wow

Having a bunch of kids is way, way easier than having one little one-- they entertain each other, and just don't quite need you so much- as they have others to serve as their audience. I don't "teach" my kids as little wee ones- and yet they all seem to do just fine with school.

I have learned (I am also a serious extrovert)- that my longing to be out of the house all of the time was an indication of unrest within me. Don't know if that is true for you, just sharing my experience. It was a great blessing to end up in a situation where I couldn't go out and about whenever I wanted- as now I love to be home and not running about. I still like to go out, but I no longer feel a compulsion or unsatisfied when I am not out.

Jesus might be calling you to solitude so that He can speak to your heart, try to be grateful and to get used to the quiet-“Behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her heart."Hosea 2:14

 

[Leanna]

Having a bunch of kids is way, way easier than having one little one-- they entertain each other, and just don't quite need you so much- as they have others to serve as their audience. I don't "teach" my kids as little wee ones- and yet they all seem to do just fine with school.

This has been going through my head today.... if I had more kids they could entertain each other.... lol.... but then I don't and since I only have one and its easy I feel more of a responsibility to focus on him, but I appreciate the thought that I don't really need to worry about him and school.

Its been on my mind to have another kid, but I am trying to wait.... I am taking black and white photography in college (I go to classes Tue/Thur.) and somewhere I read that the chemicals I am around is bad for unborn babies.... anyone know anything about that??

 

[frankincense]

I tried to be one of those perfect parents with 8 kids. Then I became realistic. I know lots of families, big and small. Lots of stay at home moms. They are all great moms. Of course, they have their shortcomings, but don't we all? There are times when we get the opposite of bored-- overwhelmed. Every mommy has their bad moments, but we should focus on our good.

We are also against daycare. We consider it a blessing that I can SAH. It is a blessing. However, being cooped up can be difficult. Sometimes, it helps just to stretch your legs on a walk amongst some fresh air.

I read a pretty nifty book once. Full of ideas!!!
The Stay-at-Home Parent's Survival Guide by Christina Baglivi Tinglof

 

[Princessperky]

I totally was just talking to DH about this last night I used to get so bored with DS when he was younger and the only one, nothing to do, and even if we went to like the playground how much fun does a early walker have there? What made it even worse, at the time DS was right around your's age, DH worked till like 7:30 or 8 at night, Looooooong day 12 hours with a early toddler, so glad that is over!

As he got older it got more fun, he could do more and wants to do more.

I don't know about the chemicals but it would worry me. when do you finish? if it will just be a couple of months I would wait.

Course you know when pregnant then you are just TIRED and bored .

Oh and when you have the second kid you feel like you are failing them cause you can't spend as much time talking about colors and letters and shapes, and is that why she is a month or two behind DS? (which is still well above average, but.....) Course then since she has an older brother she HAS to follow him into everything, and her bro taught her to count in French (to ten), pretty cool, but don't you think in English would be more important!

And where are these perfect parents? do they have any tips for the rest of us mere mortals?

 

[blessedmomof5]

Leanna,

to me you sound like a wonderful parent, we cannot do it all, and at times it is best for them/him to make his own fun...but i think you are a caring parent and only want the best for him, and like i said you sound like you are doing a great job.....he is blessed to have a mommy like you.....

Denise

 

[Leanna]

I totally was just talking to DH about this last night I used to get so bored with DS when he was younger and the only one, nothing to do, and even if we went to like the playground how much fun does a early walker have there? What made it even worse, at the time DS was right around your's age, DH worked till like 7:30 or 8 at night, Looooooong day 12 hours with a early toddler, so glad that is over!

That's exactly where I am at.... three days a week he is gone for about 12 hours, 9 hours of work plus an hour each way driving....... hm okay 11 but it makes no difference after a while, he gets home in time for bedtime and that's it.... It is boring....

I am in photography until December, but I was thinking about taking the second one in the spring and that is the problem..... I tried to look it up on the internet "Photography and Pregnancy" or something, and all I got were pictures of big bellies!!! So I don't know how to get the info.......

 

[Princessperky]

Do you still talk to your OB/GYN? you can call during office hours and they should have the answers for you. They get it alot with pregnant people so they wont mind.

Or you could try the word chemicals and pregnancy, should bring up a laundry list, and then you can put in the exact chemicals, but that would be ALOT of work!

oh and I thought of a game DS used to play for awhile when he was about that age. Reader Rabbit toddler, it had a bubble screen that he could 'pop' the bubbles just by moving the mouse, 'course I was pregnant at the time and took a nap while he did . but the other stuff it does, like matching baby animals ot mommies you need to help with, killed at least 15 minutes out of the day .

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

This has been going through my head today.... if I had more kids they could entertain each other.... lol.... but then I don't and since I only have one and its easy I feel more of a responsibility to focus on him, but I appreciate the thought that I don't really need to worry about him and school.

Its been on my mind to have another kid, but I am trying to wait.... I am taking black and white photography in college (I go to classes Tue/Thur.) and somewhere I read that the chemicals I am around is bad for unborn babies.... anyone know anything about that??

I so remember those long days! We took lots of walks- which was very nice when we had more kids, because there is no hour long one block meander-- the older ones are in too much of a hurry to let the littlest one stop 20 times to pick up pebbles. I love the memories of those walks with our oldest when he was little!

Photography sounds awesome, I took a short class many years ago and loved it. I second the advice to talk to your Ob about it- my guess is that it is probably no more harmful than all of the other chemicals we are all exposed to on a daily basis.....

 

[McDLT]

Here's a link from Kodak about photographic chemicals and pregnancy

http://www.kodak.com/eknec/PageQuerier.jhtml?pq-path=4230&pq-locale=en_US

Here's a March of Dimes link (scroll down to What are organic solvents?):

http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_9146.asp

Webmd:

http://my.webmd.com/content/article/81/97072.htm


Hope these help.

 

[Leanna]

Wow! Those were awesome information sites.... thanks