back in the pits

[ladyt28]

Did Josh have to die to get my husband and I back on track for salvation? Is that why he was taken? I can't believe that - there is no way that either of us was worth Josh's life. Why wasn't it me who was taken? Josh could have been there for his Dad and he'd still have his whole life in front of him! If my salvation has anything to do with this, then I am still a miserable failure! I am lowly, unworthy and a sad example. I know I need to quit smoking yet do I turn to God for help? No, I ask Him for forgiveness on something I already know and now I'm planning on getting a script for Chantix - a drug to help me....how pathetic. I broke down in tears today at church as the pastor was talking about being a slave to sin - that's me. I know what Gos wants me to do and yet I am WEAK WEAK WEAK!!!

And now I finally realize why I am so down today - it was 4 months ago today that we lost him. Anniversaries are the worst.

 

[madison1101]

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. God is not punishing you in this. He loves you and desires to comfort you in this.

We are all miserable sinners. That is why Christ was sent to die for us. None of us is worthy of His love, grace, or forgiveness, YET, God gives all that and more in spite of us.

Trust God, and believe that Josh is in heaven with Him. Josh is not suffering. God is longing to hold you in your pain.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[womanofvalor]

Dear Friend in Christ,
I understand your grief-- for my sweet 23 year old daughter passed into Heaven on March 2, 2006. You are so new to this grief and the agony is so overwhelming at times.
Many moms struggle with questions about their faith and why God chose to take their most precious child. One thing that I felt God whisper to me was to trust the heart of God. And His heart is full of mercy and love and grace. The mercy covers all our sins past , present, and future, the love draws us to him and hides us in Him, even when we sin and the grace gives us the courage to go on living, even when we may not want to.
I looked at your first post about Josh. He is such a handsome young man. I know your heart breaks every single day. I just pray that you will find the peace that you are so desperately seeking right now. I still cry a lot and probably always will for missing my sweet girl. They will always be our children and this huge hole in our heart will probably not go away, but I do believe that God's grace will be our comfort.
I send you big hugs today!!!

 

[ladyt28]

Thank you both so very much. Grief can be quite a roller-coaster with the ups and downs. I praise God that we are in His arms and care or we never would have made it past that first night.

 

[peacechild4]

Psalm 62:5
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

Only in God can we ever find strength for the loss of a child.. I have a baby son in heaven.. and I lost my sister at 5 years to a drowning accident..
so I saw my parents go through this too..

We cannot understand why God takes children to heaven.. We cannot always see His purposes.. but I do know this.. it opens your eyes to life and death and makes you question everything.. that death does not stop at just the elderly is a terrible eye opening reality.. It makes you think of what is to come..

But praise God we do know that this grief is but for a time.. for to know Christ.. means we will see them again and that is a wonderful promise to hold onto..

But many around us lose loved ones and have no hope.. absolutely none..

They do not know where their loved ones go or that they will ever see them again.. that is a real tradgedy..

Millions die every day.. without knowing Jesus as Saviour.. we must find hope in God and let our pain remind us that many are suffering and dying
without eternity.. without hope.. And then look to Jesus and ask Him how we might allow our pain to help us help others find Him too.. To give us compassion for the grief of the lost and unbelievers..

We who know Jesus have blessed assurance.. but they who grieve without Him have no hope.. and worse still many die without knowing Jesus at all..

Our grief is hard but nothing compared to dying and being eternally separated from God and not knowing his hope now..

When I set my heart on God and that His ways are not my ways.. I can look up.. and I want to live for that realm.. His Kingdom comes.. Where there is no death.. no pain and no crying.. If I cannot stop people dying here and now.. I can tell them about God.. Jesus and heaven.. and let them know there is good news... Jesus loves them and will give them eternal life and peace for now..

This life is not all there is.. I want to live for that Kingdom to come.. I want to make sure those remaining around me.. are going to go to Heaven.. it is worth even dying to make sure we get there!!

Do you know something happened that helped me look to God for all this..

On the day my little sister died.. she was almost 5.. only a couple of weeks from her 5th birthday.. she was talking to my mother about heaven that morning!! I was a teenager at the time.. and for some reason was tape recording her convo.. and I was off playing some other place so I didn't realise this till I found that tape much later one!! God must have allowed that to happen..

She was talking to my mother about heaven.. God and what happens when you die.. It helped me to see that God had gone before and was comforting us.. even though He took her home.. we could have peace that it was part of His plan..

God is so in control that even death has lost its sting.. But only with our eyes fixed firmly on Him can we ever see beyond the the death of our loved ones to a shining heaven above.. angels waiting to take us to God. .and a Father in heaven to welcome us home..

We need to find our peace for they are gone for now.. from earth and us for the time being.. but we must firmly work to hold on to that which remains.. and strengthen our hearts to tell our family and friends and loved ones so that the same future that our children are experiencing now we all can have that too.. That blessed hope that Jesus will return and we will all be together forever.. We cannot keep this to ourselves because it is really really good news!! But only by reminding ourselves of what Jesus has said.. and letting our faith be a shield to the pain and suffering we go through.. our eyes can look beyond and our hearts have strength and reason to go on..

[h5]The Hope of Eternal Life : Peter 1:3-5[/h5]
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see.

 

[Netbug009]

*hugs tight* I wish I could say something to help you. I wish I could say something that would make all the pain go away, but I know first hand it's not that simple. I'm so sorry. Just keep praying girl. Just keep praying.

 

[ladyt28]

Thank you netbug - actually we are doing better. The anniversaries are going to be rough for this first year but we will get by with the love and grace of our God. Thank you again!

 

[peacechild4]

I am glad you are doing better!! God goes with you always \0/

Father God continue to lead this family as they face live without Josh and give them your peace.. Father it is never easy.. but we know when we are weak.. You are strong.. amen

 

[sunflower2007]

I am glad you are doing better.

Let me just add a comment...

You are worth it. If Jesus died for you, then you certainly are worth it! He could not have loved you more! Greater love has no man than this, that one lay down his life for his friend. When we were still sinners, Christ died for us... to free us from the bondage of sin. The Holy Spirit is always right there to help you when you are tempted. He is right there to pick you up when you fall. You are worth a lot to Him, if He would suffer so much for you! You're not a failure either. You are more than a conqueror through Him who loves you! He holds you in the palm of His hand, and He holds Josh in the palm of His hand. Josh is not gone, he is perfectly alive, you just can't see him (yet!). He is waiting for you to meet him in heaven!