Hi! I'm bugged about something. See, I'm not a very social person. I'm the type of person who's content just sitting at a corner. Yes, I am very shy and very private person. I'm friends with the girls from Bible study and all that, but I always get this feeling that they don't like talking to me. I mean, they talk to me and all but it's all "Hi!" "How are you?" "How's school?" "ARe you taking summer classes?" and when I try to bring in a different topic the conversation just dies. There are other cool people at church, but it seems like they don't want to talk to me either. I was asking my friend earlier if people might be thinking that I'm a snob, intimidate them, they think I'm too intelligent for them, or they just simply think that I'm a very dry--boring person. I don't know what's wrong with me. I smile at everyone, but nobody wants to get into a conversation w/ me. Then, when I'm in a group I always get into my own little world and not listen to people--this happens when I have no clue what they're talking about--or that the topic is not interesting to me. Well, usually, when I'm in a group--I'm always quiet because I want to see the kinds of topic they like to talk about and usually I get forgotten and I'll be out of the conversation. I guess, what I'm trying to ask y'all if y'all have experienced something like it? I'm just sad, because I want to make a lot of friends, but it seems like they don't like me... Hope you can help me out...
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Awkward
- Thread starter silwJC7
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hischildsindik
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silwJC7, first of all it's probably not you. I used to be very much like you described, always in the sidelines, never speaking much, wondered why everyone would seem to just talk around me and never to me or even at me. 
I can tell you how I changed, but it isn't really a method to apply... it was God. So ask Him to help you, He will.
For me it was a gradual thing, the more comfortable I became with myself and my relationship with Jesus, the more I sought out people. I always used to wonder why they never talked to me...
how about I go talk to them, so what if the conversation dies, a bright smile and a friendly handshake or hug and go to the next person and try again. It's not a relection of you or who you are usually. People live in their own worlds and when someone unfamiliar tries to get in it, it isn't always well received.
Some days I still struggle with this, but that's when I usually evaluate where I am at and what I am feeling, and then I talk to God. He can bring comfort to you.
And in the end, I figure, God made me a bright, beautiful and intelligent person (not a prideful way.. checkout what the Word of God says about you), if someone wants to see me and not befriend me, they might be missing out on something they needed, something God was going to impart to them using one of His cracked pots. Just pray for them and keep smiling and keep approaching others. Even if it would be personal, don't take it personally, go look up who you really are in Christ.
God bless you!
Cindy
Please don't give up.
I can tell you how I changed, but it isn't really a method to apply... it was God. So ask Him to help you, He will. For me it was a gradual thing, the more comfortable I became with myself and my relationship with Jesus, the more I sought out people. I always used to wonder why they never talked to me...
how about I go talk to them, so what if the conversation dies, a bright smile and a friendly handshake or hug and go to the next person and try again. It's not a relection of you or who you are usually. People live in their own worlds and when someone unfamiliar tries to get in it, it isn't always well received. Some days I still struggle with this, but that's when I usually evaluate where I am at and what I am feeling, and then I talk to God. He can bring comfort to you.
And in the end, I figure, God made me a bright, beautiful and intelligent person (not a prideful way.. checkout what the Word of God says about you), if someone wants to see me and not befriend me, they might be missing out on something they needed, something God was going to impart to them using one of His cracked pots. Just pray for them and keep smiling and keep approaching others. Even if it would be personal, don't take it personally, go look up who you really are in Christ.
God bless you!
Cindy
Please don't give up.
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TriptychR
Investigative Retorter
I find it difficult to be social sometimes as well. I grew up outside a very small town in a pretty isolated childhood. I have always felt a little lacking in the friendship department, but the more I step out into the world--especially the last few years in college--the more this need has grown. Still, I slowly but surely have opened up and keep finding people that have a real interest in me.
But whatever you do, don't stop being yourself. What good is it to have a lot of friends if they don't know and aren't able to respond to the real you? Say you want to befriend a group of eskimos, so you dress like them. You may really be sweltering inside, but they wouldn't know--they think you're one of them.
...OK, so maybe that analogy was a little out there, but I hope it was understandable.
But whatever you do, don't stop being yourself. What good is it to have a lot of friends if they don't know and aren't able to respond to the real you? Say you want to befriend a group of eskimos, so you dress like them. You may really be sweltering inside, but they wouldn't know--they think you're one of them.
...OK, so maybe that analogy was a little out there, but I hope it was understandable.
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seangoh
Veteran
hi sil, have u tried making the first move by talking to them instead of waiting on people to come talk to you? Perhaps some other person also thinks like you and want people to talk to them. Notice that you're actually seeking the respect or attention of other people. Why not give that respect and attention yourself to someone? It works for me.
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stormgade4
The Industrial Average
- Oct 6, 2003
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I would say I spent high school and much of college in your situation. Now, I'm in leadership of my singles ministry and I'm one of the most outspoken people there. How did I do it? I simply got tires of not contributing and I took less stock of what I thought other people thought of me. Serving making me happy and I'm a dork, which helps in the humor department too.
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Thank you guys for all of y'alls advice. it's really helpful and very encouraging. Hope y'all are having a fantastic day! 
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RadG
<img src="http://www3.christianforums.com/images/s
Gee, you sound like my double. I am basically the same way but eventually you will find some people who will make more than small talk, or seem to want to include you not because they are being nice but because they want to be friends with you.
RadG
RadG
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jenptcfan
My cup runneth over
Hi there!
I bet it's not that they don't *like* you, it's probably just that since you're such a private person (I am too, so I know where you're coming from), it takes awhile to get to know you. It could be that they don't know you well enough (yet) to know what topics would interest you, or know your sense of humor, personality, etc. Be patient.
I bet it's not that they don't *like* you, it's probably just that since you're such a private person (I am too, so I know where you're coming from), it takes awhile to get to know you. It could be that they don't know you well enough (yet) to know what topics would interest you, or know your sense of humor, personality, etc. Be patient.
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Tuffguy
Speed Racer
- Jun 2, 2004
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To me it sounds like you just have an issue making small talk. You know,,,small useless conversation that really is just to get things going. The whole secret to it is just common interests. Next time before going up to a person, just think,,, what do I have in common with this person that i can talk to them about. What do we both do, that will keep conversation rolling. Think about 2-3 things. If you can't make a conversation out of those 2-3 things that will lead to 6-7 interesting points of conversation, then THEY"RE the boring ones.
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