autism and siblings

[Fangtastic]

anyone on the forums dealing with young siblings(6 mos -2yrs) around their oldest child with autism? has anyone seen regression or depression after the sibling was brought into the family? my son has become almost a recluse,not wanting to hear the babys cry,laugh,squeal..etc he has become self absorbed and has broken more things by pounding them than ever. he seems to not want noise lately,i bought him noise reduction headphones but guess what? he threw those at me.

 

[kayd1966]

My son was 18 months when our daughter was born...and she was a LOUD one. He became a real recluse and that's when we actually started noticing that something was wrong.

But...Sarah has been one of the best things that ever happened to James because she demands so much attention and she doesn't care from who. She will bug him and pick on him until he plays with her. One of his first sentences was "Sarah go away". A little rude but when he only had 20 words at the time we were pretty excited to hear a sentence.

How old are you children? (Sorry, new to CF and still figuring out who everyone is)

Because of Jesus!
KayD
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.
He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9​

 

[Hisrosebud]

That sounds similar to us, we did not realize anything was wrong until we brought home our daughter. He was three at the time.

Funny thing, he was born on May 17th (we were married May 16th) and She was born via emergency c-section on May 15. God had a sense of humor in knowing that my husband would forget it all if it was not one time a year LOL. So he was three when we started having concerns. The more we watched her develop, the more we thought there might be issues. I have a 17 year old as well, he was real helpful with them when school let out in June.

He did not recluse though just regressed. I am told by others that it is common even among other children. Caleb does not show the social symptoms that are typical for autism. He makes eye contact and likes to be social. He has EXTREME sensory issues, speech delays and other issues. He is still in the diagnosing process and will be considered HFA if it is postive. He currently is scoring 22 out of 30 on the scales.

Jane

 

[kayd1966]

Wow...sounds a lot alike...James has great eye contact and loves playing with kids and people he knows. He gets overwhelmed in social settings like busy restaurants, parties, Christmas dinners, etc. School is helping with this.

James doesn't have a lot of the 'common' sensery issues but we are finding that he prefers blended/mushed food. His speech is quite delyed but is getting much better. I'm not sure what he's scoring on testing right now, I'm expecting a report soon on his progress.

Because of Jesus!
KayD
married to Eugene (5yrs) & SAHM to James (3) and Sarah (2)
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.
He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9​

 

[rakkoon]

I didn't notice anything different when my 8 month old son was born. My daughter (15 y/o) who had Autism seemed ok. She is very out going, great eye contact. She loves her little brother, when I go to pick her up from school she tells everyone "Look! this is Josiah, my brother" her teachers tell me that this is sometimes all she talks about.
Before he was born I think she thought he would come out as a 10 y/o because she asked if he could sleep in her room I told her no because he would be crying alot and that would wake her up so she would be too tired for school.
Now I don't know if I should worry about this but the other day I went into her room and found writing paper with stick figure drawings some had happy faces and some were sad or even crying. Should I be worried? I did ask her if she was happy or if something was bothering her she said quickly "No"
A part of me wondered if she would be happier at my moms house because on the weekends she can't wait to go there.
What should I do?

 

[kayd1966]

Rakkoon;

I wouldn't worry about the stick figures...does she understand/identify her emotions? Some Autistic children need to be taught to identify what they are feeling...has she been working on this at school?

 

[kayd1966]

I'm pretty excited about this, because its a huge step for my son. He has trouble realizing that people around him might need help and this is only the second time he's ever helped someone else of his own initiative.

Yesterday, the kids were playing out in the backyard and I was inside doing the kitchen, when I saw Sarah trip and fall. James come running over calling "You OK Sarah". He then helped her up and walked with her, holding her hand all the way to the back door, knocked on the door and called "Mama you there"...I opened the door and he gave me her hand and said "Here Sarah".

I was just about in tears but had to comfort Sarah and clean her knees up (she's fine)...my Husband and I were so excited!

Just had to share...thanks for listening to me.

 

[Deltai]

I dont think my sister nor myself actually noticed a lot about our brother (james)'s condition. He's 6 years younger than I, and we didnt think anything was wrong with the beautiful child until we wondered why he wouldnt talk and lined up countless objects, while wouldnt touch others due to the texture.

Whether our ignorance proved a positive or not he has grown up a relatively normal little boy, with no really noticable symptoms besides a few eccentricities. His first sentence was a week after trial drugs from the Autism Association, and it was after Michelle and I had a fight over him playing with us (yes, I was an immature 12 year old.) Mum told him to leave while we were fighting, he started crying and said "No mum, I dont want to"..

 

[kayd1966]

...His first sentence was a week after trial drugs from the Autism Association...

Deltai;

Do you know what kind of drugs your brother was on?

 

[Deltai]

He was on a trial, there were controls (pure vitamin b12) and something else that turned milk... We still dont know the name, although James began actual communication verbally no more than 2 weeks afterwards

 

[Figaro]

Hi- I had Alex when Eric was 10 y/o. Eric is severly autistic and very echolalic. I thought I'd see him regress alot when we brought his baby brother home. however, we didn't see that at all. Only time Eric would get upset is when Alex would cry. He'd plug his ears and say, "No crying at Eric." sometimes he'd bang his head too. Thankfully, God blessed me with a baby that didn't cry much and soon Eric got used to his crying. They are now 13 and 3, and doing pretty well. Alex has some autistic tendencys, however, I think they are just learned behaviors from his brother. In Fact, Alex bosses Eric around -which i am teaching him -is not okay! But he also is very loving and patient with his older brother. Having a brother has made Eric more social, and interactive with our family- he is so funny, he'll carry Alex out to the living room and hand him to me when he's had enough of his little brother!
I am currently pregnant with our 3rd child - and am looking forward to what God has in store for us this year.
Thanks for listening.
Have a blessed day!
Figaro

 

[elenas_flickaby]

my autistic brother greg is 12, and my other brother marcus is 8. marcus is very loud, attention-seeking etc etc. basically he's irritating, and if i find him irritating you can imagine what it;s like with greg. Greg gets very frustrated and often cries and screams, he may hit himself or someone else. it's gotton to the point now where all marcus has to do is enter a room and greg gets agitated, and marcus just gets louder. the house is generally very loud nowadays.

 

[Hisrosebud]

maybe you and greg can find a place to hide in peace; LOL.

Honestly though, have you told your parents how you feel and what you see? You are very insightful. Perhaps your mother is so busy parenting an autistic son and two other's that she hasn't seen it the way you do.

My 5 year old has "autistic tendencies" but is most likely sensory integration disorder. I was yelling at him and disciplining him for the last few weeks for hitting his 2 year old sister. My 17 year old told me that he was actually retaliating to her abuse (LOL) and was ignoring her for a long time before hitting back. So I watched.... and HE WAS RIGHT> She was pulling his hair, slapping his face, taking his toys, an absolute terror!

So I am working on him coming to get me to help him instead of hitting her... and of course with her I am on top of that too. (two is two and this girl of mine is a mighty one!).

I'll be praying, if it is ok with you!
Love,
Jane

 

[kayd1966]

I totally understand the mighty two year old girl...I have one too...and boy is she mighty! James really misses her though and looks for her or asks about her if he can't find her.

My big concern is that she is going to start compensating for him...actually she already does...if he's asked to do something and refuses she'll just do it for him...for example...today they were playing with playdough and I asked them to put it away and he refused then took off...I went and brought him back to the table only to find that she had already cleaned up...any ideas on how to make sure she doesn't take on the 'resonsibility' of him?

 

[Deltai]

More news on my autistic brother, james. He just found out that a friend of ours has an autistic son. I've never seen him more delighted (he's quite mild) and he loves the idea of "helping out". I've never seen a 12 year old who wants to help out so much!

 

[Fangtastic]

I was off line awhile due to things,just checked in on my thread. seems we all have different things we're dealing with.praying that autism is more understood,i deal with alot of school officials that say they know autism.i say NO you dont know it until you live with it.my son is going to be 9 soon and looks 12 or 13.my toddler already realizes theres something special about him,she's trying to show him affection and he is beginning to understand what "sister" means.he looks for her first thing in the morning,has to know where she is at all times.im in a difficult parenting situation.i've yet to find another autistic child like mine.

 

[Deltai]

I'm glad he seems to be feeling better about things. How severe is his autism? James has just met his new niece and is thrilled, I've never seen a child so fascinated with others, and so willing to help out.

Do you guys have an Autism Association or anything over there? School officials generally dont do a WHOLE lot without external interventions. Over here, getting them to deal with anyone with any signs of being remotely gifted OR with special needs takes a sword and a plank :S