When I was about 12 years old I started fantasizing about boys my own age. As time progressed, I remained attracted to younger boys. I am now in college and my life is falling apart. Recently I looked at porn for the first time as a way of escape and relief. I found that I was disgusted by regular gay porn, and I started looking up pictures of underage boys. So far, my parents, pastors, and some friends know that I struggle with homosexual thoughts, but only two people know that I am attracted to younger boys. Who do I talk to about this and how do I get help?
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Attracted to Boys
- Thread starter BstrongintheLord
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TheGreenUke
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Be assured that whatever you feel/think, that we're here for you on Christian Forums to give you support. Also, remember that God is infinitely merciful and listens to any and all people who call upon Him to help.
Firstly, a couple of questions- do you know of any major events in your life which could have possibly triggered these feelings/thoughts? And what have you already done to try and manage/prevent your thoughts and feelings towards young boys?
To answer your questions, I'm in an similar position in that I also have feelings for underage boys. I've found it very difficult to talk to anyone about it, even professionally, as feelings such as these are still hugely taboo, even when the person is wishing to seek help for it.
For this reason, I would be VERY careful in who you tell, and assuming that you can find someone who is willing to discuss it, WHAT you tell them. My personal advice is to speak to a professional counselor who is trained to deal with this kind of thing in a fair, non-judgmental and most of all CONFIDENTIAL way.
You may also, if this is not an option for reasons of expense or whatever, find that your pastor can also help. I don't know the exact workings, but I would expect that anything you told him would be taken in strict confidence and only used to help you. Pastors of any sort are trained in dealing with a LOT of things in addition to Biblical training and can support you both in a faith way and in a personal/social way too.
NOTE: On the above, you may find that with dealing with attraction to underage boys, some counselors do not openly advertise their treatment programmes for this kind of sexuality so if you do choose to go for private treatment, you may have to persist before finding something suitable.
You may also find support in an LGBT charity who are again often trained to deal with a lot of different things. Some may be able to offer counseling or social support to you, and would be subject to the same confidentiality as if you were to go through private counseling.
You are also more than welcome to PM me if you wish. Hope I was of some help.
Firstly, a couple of questions- do you know of any major events in your life which could have possibly triggered these feelings/thoughts? And what have you already done to try and manage/prevent your thoughts and feelings towards young boys?
To answer your questions, I'm in an similar position in that I also have feelings for underage boys. I've found it very difficult to talk to anyone about it, even professionally, as feelings such as these are still hugely taboo, even when the person is wishing to seek help for it.
For this reason, I would be VERY careful in who you tell, and assuming that you can find someone who is willing to discuss it, WHAT you tell them. My personal advice is to speak to a professional counselor who is trained to deal with this kind of thing in a fair, non-judgmental and most of all CONFIDENTIAL way.
You may also, if this is not an option for reasons of expense or whatever, find that your pastor can also help. I don't know the exact workings, but I would expect that anything you told him would be taken in strict confidence and only used to help you. Pastors of any sort are trained in dealing with a LOT of things in addition to Biblical training and can support you both in a faith way and in a personal/social way too.
NOTE: On the above, you may find that with dealing with attraction to underage boys, some counselors do not openly advertise their treatment programmes for this kind of sexuality so if you do choose to go for private treatment, you may have to persist before finding something suitable.
You may also find support in an LGBT charity who are again often trained to deal with a lot of different things. Some may be able to offer counseling or social support to you, and would be subject to the same confidentiality as if you were to go through private counseling.
You are also more than welcome to PM me if you wish. Hope I was of some help.
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K
kev86
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Im attracted to guys,its hard...I would say seek a counselor or pastor,and if not look into Exodus International ministries.
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I can tell you exactly what helps me with this issue that you have. Not too many people would understand what you are going through. I can relate to your struggles, but I have overcome.
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raven1
Well-Known Member
You cannot choose your sexuality. It is utterly hopeless to try. I like cadbury milk eggs. I would like to eat them for every meal. Would I die from a heart attack, probably. Everyone bares a cross. As long as your aware that harming children will destroy them don't beat yourself you didn't choose this.
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yanno the meek
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I'm seeing a therapist who also specializes in sexual issues. In the two years I've been seeing him we've talked about everything under the sun. He told me that for most sexual issues cognitive behavioral therapy is the way to go and I can't see any reason why it couldn't be used here. Try looking up a therapist and asking about CBT.
As I understand it CBT is a way to deprogram limiting thoughts. I know for a fact that it's a great way to develop good habits.
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I believe this kind of thinking is what keeps people down. Where does homosexuality or any sexual deviancy come from? Believing lies from Satan. Stop believing the lies and ignore the temptations then Satan will (for the most part) stop pestering you about it.
We can't choose to stop being tempted, but we can choose to not believe or stop believing lies. We can reply with "it is written" (requires knowing the Word) in response to the lies, just like Jesus did.
Furthermore, Paul states that you can be free from homosexuality (in other words, not homosexual anymore).
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God (1 Corinthians 6)
"And such were some of you" means that these people used to be homosexuals, thieves and the like and now they are no longer these things.
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Many pastors are not well equipped to deal with same sex attractions. Some can become very judgemental. See about some support form a specialist group or person.
Try not to feed or accept your feelings and try not to act on them. See what you can do about rethinking your input and attitudes towards women. This can limit any deeper progression, but you will probably need to see someone suitable to get the support and help you need.
John
NZ
Try not to feed or accept your feelings and try not to act on them. See what you can do about rethinking your input and attitudes towards women. This can limit any deeper progression, but you will probably need to see someone suitable to get the support and help you need.
John
NZ
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Hi,
actually i am facing similar issue too, that's why I am looking for someone to be my online accountability partner. Would anyone be interested to help me?
actually i am facing similar issue too, that's why I am looking for someone to be my online accountability partner. Would anyone be interested to help me?
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smod27
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Many men that deal with homosexuality have one or two specific area that trigger their thoughts and fantasies....
Whether you like younger boys or like older men... it is all the same sin and ALL forgivable...
Satan wants you to believe that "YOUNGER BOYS!" is a lot worse than what other people desire or think about! He has convinced many straight people of that very thing and they JUDGE on the same belief...
Do NOT let Satan do this to you.... reach out find help....
<edit>
God bless you friend!
Whether you like younger boys or like older men... it is all the same sin and ALL forgivable...
Satan wants you to believe that "YOUNGER BOYS!" is a lot worse than what other people desire or think about! He has convinced many straight people of that very thing and they JUDGE on the same belief...
Do NOT let Satan do this to you.... reach out find help....
<edit>
God bless you friend!
Last edited by a moderator:
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Try "setting captives free" website. They have a highly effective course for free called, "Door of Hope". It's to find freedom from homosexuality.
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Hi anyone who passes my comment here, would you bother a little prayer for me?
Thank you so much, I've been struggling the same sin too.After being molested at young age, It's very difficult, it was since I'm 12, now I'm 20, it's been 6 years after I accepted Jesus, things have been the same,but now I wish or a change.
Dear bro and sis appreciated much of your prayer, thank you for your time.
With love,
Anthony
Thank you so much, I've been struggling the same sin too.After being molested at young age, It's very difficult
, it was since I'm 12, now I'm 20, it's been 6 years after I accepted Jesus, things have been the same,but now I wish or a change. Dear bro and sis appreciated much of your prayer, thank you for your time.
With love,
Anthony
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InstaurareOmnia
Junior Member
rafalle777, just wanted to say that you will be in my prayers. May God bless you.
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