Attracted but not excited to date

[NotUrAvgGuy]

Not sure if this is unique or not but I find myself still very much attracted to women both physically and to talk to but not enough to want to go out often. I am pretty much a homebody and like people contact in small doses. I think the attraction factor though keeps me thinking I should date yet when I do I often find myself struggling to come up with things to do. I enjoy the company but only in small doses. I feel like I am growing old and will live out my life single (I know not the end of the world) and for some reason that bothers me yet actually dating doesn't meet any significant needs.

I have social anxiety too so I don't have many friends and dislike group events so I am pretty much by myself all the time.

Anyone else like this?

 

[Rajni]

I can definitely relate to a lot of what you said.

I even have a crush on someone (I had rather hoped that the 'crush-center' of my brain would've atrophied after a certain age... apparently not), but if I ever saw any indicator that he was just as interested in me, I think I’d have a panic attack. I enjoy my relative solitude and independence, and would hate to jeopardize that, even for what I would otherwise consider the cutest guy on earth.

 

[NotUrAvgGuy]

I can definitely relate to a lot of what you said.

I even have a crush on someone (I had rather hoped that the 'crush-center' of my brain would've atrophied after a certain age... apparently not), but if I ever saw any indicator that he was just as interested in me, I think I’d have a panic attack. I enjoy my relative solitude and independence, and would hate to jeopardize that, even for what I would otherwise consider the cutest guy on earth.

Yes it's almost a curse to still have attraction. I know it's natural and the rest is probably not natural but it's not helpful when things don't all line up.

 

[dayhiker]

I go to singles dances and on of the obvious things is the guys standing around the outside just watching. It appears they just wanted to get out of the house, but have limited interest in dancing with a woman. They sound like you Sam as best as I can tell.

I have an exGF that I take to dances sometimes. She dances with other guys and I dance with other ladies. Usually we share one dance. Then we talk about who else we got to dance with on the way home. One of the things I've I've learned from her is that some guys are dating a lot of women from the dances.

So it seems to me that we are a spectrum from limited contract to those who want a long of contact.

 

[NotUrAvgGuy]

It is a little challenging being a single, older Christian in the church today. So much emphasis is put on families (for good reason) and marriage. We think you either should be married or called to some ministry that you need to devote yourself to so fully that you would not have time for a spouse. Men's ministries are hyper focused on being godly husbands and fathers. I don't fit neatly into any of those categories.

 

[Mydnyte]

I'm still very much attracted, but very much only selectively social. There's times I want to get out and go do stuff and meet people and days that I'm happy if I don't have to deal with another living thing.