Attention problem with my son

[HappyMomof4]

Today at a parent teacher conference my son's 4th grade teacher suggested that I ask my son's pediatrician about medications that might be helpful for my son. My son has had attention/focusing problems for years (not in things he likes, just in jobs or chores or responsibilities). He needs to be constantly reminded to keep focused on the task assigned to him. He's not doing it on purpose, though. He really feels bad when he disappoints people. I'm at my wits end. I've always said I would never put my child on these attention/hyperactivity drugs for lots of reasons. Now even my husband is starting to consider it.

Does anyone have any advice to help attention in a child that does not involve medication?? Nutrition, or something else? I asked the teacher, "What did teacher's do years ago, before all these drugs, to help these kids?" She said, "Usually they just fell behind." There must be some other answer. I'm hoping some of you parents might have some advice.

 

[alaskamolly]

This is just my opinion, but the fact that he can focus when he wants to tells me that it's not a problem that needs drugs.


Drugs will just make it easier for everyone to deal with, but the unecessary side-effects certainly aren't the best decision for him. (I do realize there ARE situations that merit medication).

Sounds like he might just be a really smart boy who gets bored easily with mundane things. Genius doesn't need to be drugged--it needs to be challenged!

Perhaps the book, "Creative Correction" might help with some motivational ideas. (*it's a REALLY good book, I think, and FULL of hilarious and fun ideas to motivate children--and she has a boy with add/adhd-like problems, who is NOT on medication).

And as for school work, most children (especially boys) who fiddle around with their school work are simply doing so because they are bored out of their minds. The work is usually NOT hands-on (whereas most boys are made to get hands-on and active), and usually more along the lines of "busy-work"--boring stories, boring worksheets, boring lists, etc...

I don't know if there is a way his education could be changed (homeschooling?) so as to be more physical... or if his teacher would be open to him getting an IQ test to see if he needs to be in a gifted/talented track instead of stuck in a desk being bored to death...?

I don't know...just some ideas!

Hope you find some solutions!
Blessings,
Molly

 

[HappyMomof4]

I don't want to sound like a typical boasting mom, but he is incredibly smart. He makes some of the most insightful comments on life, about God, and society. He also is so inventive. He makes "contraptions" out of toys, string, tape, etc. And yes he knows the work. He doesn't struggle to understand the concepts of math or language arts. He is also the star of the art class and everyone in the class can't wait to see what he draws. (At least that's what the art teacher said)

This is why it's so frustrating! Anyone who meets hims can tell he is intelligent. But his grades don't reflect it. Nothin lower than a C, but he gets tons of "needs improvement" in the following directions, organization, listening skills categories. I've never really considered home-schooling (nothing wrong with it, I just never felt drawn to it myself) but if succeeding in school is going to require Ritalin, I think I will! I feel so deeply opposed to medication.

I'll check out Amazon for some books, like Creative Correction.

 

[alaskamolly]

It sounds like a classic case of a very smart boy in school. Seriously, if your school has a gifted/talented program, GET HIM an IQ TEST--and push to get it. Then he can get out of the regular track and into something challenging.


I grew up in the "gifted/talented track," and you'd be surprised how many boys were in it, who were formerly getting C's and D's (and so their IQ shocked their teachers when their parents pushed for a test!). They were simply getting poor grades because their work was so lacking any challenge. Give them hands-on work, physical labor, challenging problems, and they were ALIVE again, animated faces and bodies and learning to love learning again.


If your school doesn't have any options but sitting at a desk with mindless textbooks and workbooks, I'd find somewhere else to school him... There are some GREAT books out there by parents who had all boys, who homeschooled them and their boys got full-rides to Harvard, MIT, etc... Boys learn best when ACTIVE and engaged. Well, many girls do too, for that matter, but the topic at hand is a young boy who is really smart...and being bored to death. (And it's not going to take much to give him a better education than the one he's now getting--it should be pretty easy!).


In all fairness to the teacher, though, it's not like it's her fault. She's got a whole classroom to deal with, and so doesn't have the time to come up with whole new lesson plans for the bored gifted students...or even the time to reflect on the fact that perhaps his behaviour is partially a result of boring classroom procedures and "desk-work-style" learning methods. She's probably doing the best job she can given the circumstances.

Ok, my 2 pennies worth is now completely given!

Love in Him,
Molly

 

[faith177]

I was also suggested to put my child on drugs but chose not too, I did do some supplements that were quite effective, for us. One was a b- vitamin complex, and the other was effalex which is omega 3's, stay away from artificially colored foods, we also have to be very strict with him of what we expect and there are consequences consistently. I have found that the more strict we are the better he does, he is in middle school now and is getting an A and 2 b's. We are very vocal about our expectations, and we check his homework everyday, he has to do homework as soon as he gets home, before play or tv. I believe in giving your children all the tools they need to succeed, they need an agenda book to write assignments in, most schools are now using them and they need a decent binder with dividers for each subject.

I also tell my child that we have recognised that he has some problems with distraction, missing what the teacher says some times and its important for him to be more conscious of that and work harder at staying focused. Stay in touch with his teacher so you know if he is missing assignments or misbehaving in class. Definately give consequences for those things, even if you believe he is not doing it intentionally he needs to start recognising it and being responsible for his actions.

 

[BeanMak]

I suggest reading as much as you can on ADD. It sounds classic, very bright, able to focus on games or television. What a shame that the poor kid has to feel bad when he dissappoints or fails to live up to a commitment! If you don't want to try medications on him, YOU will need to be his focus. You will have to teach him to be organized, by providing constant structure, and guidance. To bad these kids will lose every agenda book that you give them.
While I am not suggesting that drugs are the only answer, would you hesitate to give your kid other types of medications that he needs?

 

[Lena75]

My 2 cents. Sounds like ADD to me, too.

 

[Stringaling]

It really irritates me that teachers nowadays think that if a child is a bit distracted then they have the authority to tell the parents to drug the child!!!! I am not sure what to do as I have no experience with any of that yet--my kids are 2 and 3--but I do not think jumping to meds is the answer. If he is in 4th grade and none of his other teachers have complained perhaps this teacher prefers her students to be silent, motionless, drugged up drones--Many teachers today just don't want to adapt their teaching methods to accomodate variety in student learning types and personality.. I would exhaust all other options before agreeing to medicate.

 

[katelyn]

A boy in my husband's hometown had an attention problem, and he went through a program like this:

http://www.playattention.com

We heard that it was a successful program that taught him how to focus.

 

[lucypevensie]

One more thought. Since your son is aware of his problem with paying attention have you sat down with him and brainstrmed some ideas of how he could handle the situation when he finds his mind wandering? I mean, let him come up with a few ideas of his own. My 1st grade daughter also has problems with listening and paying attention. So I sat down with her and asked her what she though she could do about it. It was an attempt on my part to show her that she needs to take responsibility for this challenge of hers. She did come up with a few ideas of her own, most of them very simple but oh so important! Like, look at the teacher's face, do not fiddle with clothing, don't swing legs. These are things she came up with herself.

I don't know how this will work yet, and she will definitely need help from me and Dad too. This is a good start though I think.

 

[kingzjewel]

I don't want to sound like a typical boasting mom, but he is incredibly smart. He makes some of the most insightful comments on life, about God, and society. He also is so inventive. He makes "contraptions" out of toys, string, tape, etc. And yes he knows the work. He doesn't struggle to understand the concepts of math or language arts. He is also the star of the art class and everyone in the class can't wait to see what he draws. (At least that's what the art teacher said)

This is why it's so frustrating! Anyone who meets hims can tell he is intelligent. But his grades don't reflect it. Nothin lower than a C, but he gets tons of "needs improvement" in the following directions, organization, listening skills categories. I've never really considered home-schooling (nothing wrong with it, I just never felt drawn to it myself) but if succeeding in school is going to require Ritalin, I think I will! I feel so deeply opposed to medication.

I'll check out Amazon for some books, like Creative Correction.

that was about the point when my mother and father got me into 1st grade math while in kindergarten, then skipped to second grade.

not bragging...just telling you what they did for me to correct the problem... made it much easier on us all as far as attention.

 

[Katydid]

I'm sorry, but I would not medicate him. This is what gets me, he gets put on meds now, he is on meds until he is 18, then what? How does he learn to function without them? ADD is basically a schooltime illness. When you go to get a job, you can't say, "I need extra time on any assignments you give me because I have ADD". The boss will not hire him. I mean, I think it is better to teach him to deal with it now, so that as he grows and leaves home, he has the tools he needs to work in a real job. That is just my two cents.