Attachment Parenting - Too Extreme?

[Lean Forward]

In my view attachment parenting is very extreme.. co sleeping is dangerous in regard to infants and highly inappropriate with older children. I find that the 'attachment parenting' crowd are more than likely in the home schooler crowd as well.. I feel sorry for these kids they are literally emotionally smothered by their mothers and tend to have significant issues developing socially among peers.

 

[Niffer]

In my view attachment parenting is very extreme.. co sleeping is dangerous in regard to infants and highly inappropriate with older children. I find that the 'attachment parenting' crowd are more than likely in the home schooler crowd as well.. I feel sorry for these kids they are literally emotionally smothered by their mothers and tend to have significant issues developing socially among peers.

I find that funny, because as a homeschooler, I was hardly 'smothered', and developed quite nice social skills, among more than just my peers. I actually learned to socialize with people who weren't only the same age I was.
My husband was homeschooled as well - we both loved it, and plan to homeschool our children.

I do agree that the family bed can be very dangerous - however, just to point out, that isn't "co-sleeping". Co-sleeping is simply having the child in the same room as you.
Our 2 week old has her own cradle beside the bed my husband and I sleep in; and that's considered 'co-sleeping.'
You're thinking about the "family bed" concept, I believe.

I am curious as to why you find co-sleeping "inappropriate" - what ages of children are you referring to?

Peace,
- Niffer

 

[Lean Forward]

To answer your question I would consider it inappropriate to have a child over around 3 sleeping in his parents room or bed. What the "attachment" crowd dosen't seem to understand is some separation is a good thing... it's necessary to grow up normal. On homeschooling I don't think it has any legitimacy, kids need to be out in participating in the world not sheltered in some bubble/cocoon created by 'over protective' mothers misguided beliefs.

 

[epiclesis]

To answer your question I would consider it inappropriate to have a child over around 3 sleeping in his parents room or bed. What the "attachment" crowd dosen't seem to understand is some separation is a good thing... it's necessary to grow up normal. On homeschooling I don't think it has any legitimacy, kids need to be out in participating in the world not sheltered in some bubble/cocoon created by 'over protective' mothers misguided beliefs.

I realize you don't have a Christian icon - but you are on a Christian site, so I'll mention it anyway.

Jesus was homeschooled.



I was homeschooled as well, and I was never in any sheltered bubble. I have several homeschooling families for friends, and none of them are sheltered either.
I don't really get why people stereotype homeschoolers as sheltered - I've never met any family who was like that.

 

[Lean Forward]

Generally speaking I find homschoolers typically fall into two categories 1 the ultra fundamentalist religious sorts who don't want their kids to be taught any information that might be contrary to the parents religious beliefs and 2 the kids who couldn't fit in and get along in one way or another so their parents opt to take them out of school. anyway my comments were mainly intended to be in regard to attachment parenting what's interesting is homeschooling, home birth, anti-vaccinations, anti-circumcision attitudes all tend to go together with attachment parenting more often than not..

 

[Niffer]

Generally speaking I find homschoolers typically fall into two categories 1 the ultra fundamentalist religious sorts who don't want their kids to be taught any information that might be contrary to the parents religious beliefs and 2 the kids who couldn't fit in and get along in one way or another so their parents opt to take them out of school. anyway my comments were mainly intended to be in regard to attachment parenting what's interesting is homeschooling, anti-vaccinations, anti-circumcision attitudes all tend to go together with attachment parenting more often than not..

Huh, while I have met homeschoolers that fit that description - I find the majority very much normal socially, and hardly living in a 'bubble'.
To the point where teenage homeschoolers have gone and lived on the street (shelters) with homeless people to serve and minister for a week.
Hardly "sheltered" imho!
As for that 'type' being more into attachment parenting, I personally, haven't found that to be true.
Attachment parenting, is generally seen as a "hippie-granola-crunching-Birkenstock-wearing" lifestyle, while most homeschoolers I know, tend to be more traditional/conservative - certainly not "hippie".

Also, when did being "anti-circumcision" become fundamentalist???

Peace,
- Niffer

 

[epiclesis]

Huh, while I have met homeschoolers that fit that description - I find the majority very much normal socially, and hardly living in a 'bubble'.
To the point where teenage homeschoolers have gone and lived on the street (shelters) with homeless people to serve and minister for a week.
Hardly "sheltered" imho!
As for that 'type' being more into attachment parenting, I personally, haven't found that to be true.
Attachment parenting, is generally seen as a "hippie-granola-crunching-Birkenstock-wearing" lifestyle, while most homeschoolers I know, tend to be more traditional/conservative - certainly not "hippie".

Also, when did being "anti-circumcision" become fundamentalist???

Peace,
- Niffer

hey, i don't wear birkenstocks

 

[epiclesis]

Generally speaking I find homschoolers typically fall into two categories 1 the ultra fundamentalist religious sorts who don't want their kids to be taught any information that might be contrary to the parents religious beliefs and 2 the kids who couldn't fit in and get along in one way or another so their parents opt to take them out of school. anyway my comments were mainly intended to be in regard to attachment parenting what's interesting is homeschooling, home birth, anti-vaccinations, anti-circumcision attitudes all tend to go together with attachment parenting more often than not..

well, i choose homeschooling, homebirthing, anti-vaccinations, baby sleeping in the same room up to a year, but does not have to be bed sharing, just sharing a room for convenience sake.

But I also don't believe in breastfeeding past a year or a year and a half (and I, personally, formula fed my child coz I couldn't nurse....) and I believe in circumcision.

Make sense of that.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Generally speaking I find homschoolers typically fall into two categories 1 the ultra fundamentalist religious sorts who don't want their kids to be taught any information that might be contrary to the parents religious beliefs and 2 the kids who couldn't fit in and get along in one way or another so their parents opt to take them out of school. anyway my comments were mainly intended to be in regard to attachment parenting what's interesting is homeschooling, home birth, anti-vaccinations, anti-circumcision attitudes all tend to go together with attachment parenting more often than not..

My kids are schooled in public school currently and have done just fine. But, they beg me to remove them and homeschool them. If I was in the position to do so, I would in a heartbeat.

It has little to do with either of your assumptions above and everything to do with wanting an individualized, quality education for my children. At least now the class sizes have shrunk from 35-40 to about 18 in our state. But, 18 students and one teacher still leaves little to no room for truly individualized instruction.

With the right approach, their socialization, ability to learn in different settings and through different styles, and exposure to all sorts of cultural arts and experiences is actually greater when home schooled than otherwise.

 

[MessianicMommy]

In my view attachment parenting is very extreme.. co sleeping is dangerous in regard to infants and highly inappropriate with older children. I find that the 'attachment parenting' crowd are more than likely in the home schooler crowd as well.. I feel sorry for these kids they are literally emotionally smothered by their mothers and tend to have significant issues developing socially among peers.

I was homeschooled through high school (the rest was a mix of public, private and DOD schooling) and my parents were very non-ap.

I am AP, and homeschooling is illegal here in Germany, and my eldest is in kindergarten. The kids (3 and turning 2 in November) still climb into bed, though they sleep in their own most nights. They feel insecure and scared at night, and it's perfectly fine and normal that they come to us.

OTOH, the eldest is doing well in kindergarten, respects boundaries and is learning how to play well with others. 20 students divided by 2 teachers per class, not counting the lunch time and outside play time that has usually 4+ teachers on hand for some 30 odd children, others with teachers inside for various activities including helping clean the kitchen or asking help to go to the bathroom (ages 3-6).


It really depends on so many factors as to what would make AP "Extreme" and "unsafe".

 

[Lean Forward]

I think the good Germans feel an obligation to protect Germany's children against extremist ideologies and to ensure every child has access to an equal education. What I find very disturbing is these parents who refuse to vaccinate their children, there's this new genital wart vaccine that would protect girls against a type of cervical cancer and the fundamentalist types are pitching fits over it.. in cases like those I think the government has a moral obligation to step in and do what's best for the child. 2 and 3 isn't outrageous for climbing up in your bed but it's important they face their fears soon or they will still be doing it at 12 if you let them. We have raised an entire generation of adult babies and society is actually wondering why ???

 

[epiclesis]

I think the good Germans feel an obligation to protect Germany's children against extremist ideologies and to ensure every child has access to an equal education. What I find very disturbing is these parents who refuse to vaccinate their children, there's this new genital wart vaccine that would protect girls against a type of cervical cancer and the fundamentalist types are pitching fits over it.. in cases like those I think the government has a moral obligation to step in and do what's best for the child. 2 and 3 isn't outrageous for climbing up in your bed but it's important they face their fears soon or they will still be doing it at 12 if you let them. We have raised an entire generation of adult babies and society is actually wondering why ???

Just like we should give our kids hep b vaccinations because they're the "low risk" group that can be targeted in order to avoid STD's?

 

[EmilyF]

I think the good Germans feel an obligation to protect Germany's children against extremist ideologies and to ensure every child has access to an equal education. What I find very disturbing is these parents who refuse to vaccinate their children, there's this new genital wart vaccine that would protect girls against a type of cervical cancer and the fundamentalist types are pitching fits over it.. in cases like those I think the government has a moral obligation to step in and do what's best for the child. 2 and 3 isn't outrageous for climbing up in your bed but it's important they face their fears soon or they will still be doing it at 12 if you let them. We have raised an entire generation of adult babies and society is actually wondering why ???

Most of your views seem to be assumptions based on what you think others might be doing but not based on any real fact at all.


I can't get behind not vaxing with the exception of the rare cases where a child can't be vaxed for something and I think that it should be compulsory. It is something that effects the population as a whole, not just the child. My sons had to wait on the chicken pox vaccine. Thankfully, they didn't get it but I had to depend on "herd immunity" to protect them.

Generally, how a parent decides to parent is their own business. Homeschooling and attachment parenting did no raise a generation of adult babies. Many, many things contributed to it.