Atheist to Christian.

[SwanPslam48]

Warning: This is going to be a long story because my journey isn't over yet. Consider this part 1





I haven't always been a real Christian.
I mean, I knew there was a God and Jesus was the Christ and the son of God.

But that's it.

When my grandmother died four years ago I started doubting their existance.
Then almost two year ago my childhood pet died.

Then I became an atheist.

It had been about a week or so after losing my pet cat. During that time I hadn't let myself cry once.

I wanted to stay strong, but I knew I couldn't handle it anymore and I let it all out when my family were sleeping during the middle of the night.

I must have cried a good twenty minutes. Asking myself the same questions I'm sure most people do; why?

And since I had given up hope on there being an God I had given up of an afterlife too. I've never been so hurt and sad before in my entire life.

Once I was done I got up from the floor and walked into the kitchen. I wasn't hungry, I just needed to keep busy.

I walked over to the kitchen counter, looking for something to snack on when all of a sudden I saw a golden light in the corner of my eye.
I turned and looked at it.

I had no clue what is was.

It didn't really have a shape. I guess diamond would be more fitting with the way it shined. It a floating golden light above the kitchen table. It was so bright.

My first thought was; 'My eyes should be hurting right now.' I turned to look at my grandfather sleeping on the couch in the living room.

'He should see this! Why doesn't he notice?'

I looked at it again and noticed it's glow wasn't reflecting on the walls.

'Weird.'

I stared at it harder, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.
As I stared straight through it it seemed to flash back and forth between gold and black.

And then my atheist mind kicked in.

'I'm seeing things.' I thought horrified.

I started to walk away. Looking at it as I did, considering if maybe the light was coming from a car driving by, which I knew made no sense.

It didn't move.
It stayed there shining brightly.
Whatever it was it was there.
Not like us though. No body.
It just was.

 

[SwanPslam48]

The next few months I began to see dark clouds floating into my room. I didn't know what they were. I blamed it on stress.

After a while they went away.

Soon after that I began looking up reasons why Christianity and other religions were false. Laughing and thinking how stupid believers were.

How could they worship such a cruel God/s? Must be out of fear. Fear of death probably.

Everyday I'd find myself searching for videos on the internet bashing Christianity and videos on evolution. (Heck I even started to join other Atheist mocking Christianity on forums.)


'It made more sense' I thought. Rather than silly stories like Noah's ark and Adam and Eve.

During the time of being an atheist I found myself slowly becoming sad that this was it.

This horrible life on this rotting planet was it.
I was never going to see my family and friends again and when I died I'd just rot in the ground like everyone else.

But how nice would it be if there was an afterlife? If there was a God..
'Maybe..' I thought.
'Maybe there is a God but He just doesn't take part in it.'

I had started wishing for at least a deist God. Because I felt the world was too cruel. No way there was a God watching us 24/7.
He'd be so disgusted with us.
　
It was early february of this year and while searching for videos I found a scene from 'Jesus of Nazareth' the scene being the parable of the The Prodigal Son. I remember watching it on tv when I was very young with my parents.

So I clicked on it getting ready to laugh. (It would be the first pro-religious thing I'd watch since becoming atheist.)

Instead I found myself near tears.
Everything I heard was so beautiful. It's something my soul had been aching for. But it was too perfect I thought.
But still..
Even if it wasn't true.. I was happier as a Christian wasn't I?

 

[SwanPslam48]

The next few days I was struggling what to do. Should I become Christian again? Would God even accept me after all the nasty things I said?

I had started to hear things.
Whispers and whistles (like someone taking a deep breath and then whistling in my ear).

Me being the big baby that I am was scared.

One night I had fallen alseep next to my father as he watched tv. Blasting Christian music in my ears hoping maybe it would protect me.

I started to dream:


There was a train station. I was standing still among the crowed of people walking by when suddenly everything went dark and the earth started to shake. People began to scream and run as the place was starting to crumble and land on people.
And I knew what I had to do next.
I fell on my knees and started praying. "God I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

And then I woke up.
A song was playing in my ears.

Chris Rice - Come to Jesus

 

[SwanPslam48]

The next night I had another dream.

I was standing in someones home? Maybe an apartment building. The windows were behind me.

I knew because the sunlight shining on this plant and painting I was staring at.

I wondered where I was.
And then the room turned dark and the ground started to shake. I did the same as I did in the other dream.

I repented and then woke up.


The whispering and whistling were getting worse.

I was scared out of my mind but I could't repent!

I was scared of God. Why would he forgive me? I'm disgusting I had so many thoughts against him. 'Just kill me.' I thought.

Then one night as the whistling was becoming non stop I signed in on msn looking for help. I needed a Christian. Now.

Instead I found a friend who was catholic. (bless him)

He shared his story with me and ended up motivating me to repenting as I was hiding on the bathroom flood weeping. 'What do I got to lose? ' I thought. If God doesn't want me at least I'll get a 'no.' to confirm it.

So I did. I didn't hear anything. Nothing. No big voice from the sky (which I'm thankful for. I couldn't handle that.)

 

[SwanPslam48]

The next day I was on a Christian buzz. I felt good. Happy.

I even bought a audio bible and a bible and started to read it.

I decided to read the The Gospel of Matthew in a day. Which I did.

But then I got to this part..


Matthew 24:29-31

King James Version (KJV)


29Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken.'

I got a shiver when I read that then did some searching and found;

Revelation 6:12​

'And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood'

 

[SwanPslam48]

A little while later as I was growing closer with God (Listening to only Christian music and praying small prayers through out the day and at morning and night and giving thanks for my food and water)

I started getting blasphemous thoughts. Thoughts that I used to have when I was an atheist except this time followed with anger. I felt so guilty. At the time I didn't know that it wasn't coming from me.

(I still get these thoughts though. But now I'm able to tell half the time when they aren't my own. They're usually accompainied with an odd twist in my chest.)

This wasn't too long ago mind you. About.. I'd say five days ago?

It was night. My father and grandfather were sleeping and I was waiting for my mother to come back home.

As I was looking for some questions about the bible and God I bad thoughts springing to my mind..

I gave into one of these awful thoughts (all lies) causing me to hate God with an uncontrollable passion. I didn't know why.. it was like something took over my emotions and took away my thoughts.

My throat was burning with anger.

Then I heard it. My anger had went away and was replaced with fear.

It was calling my name telling me to look at it. It was coming from the dark bedroom next to me where my father slept. I looked over at it with the corner of my eye and saw it's legs. It looked like a being made of darkness with a greyish color.

I didn't dare look again. I knew right away what it was. I tried ignoring it, thinking my fear probably gives it power.

That made it worse.

It said my name louder gritting it's teeth causing the fear I had before to multiply by 100%.

I wanted to run. I needed to escape into the light...a bright room. I needed light.

But there is no room here light enough to hide.

Then I remembered..

'GOD PLEASE HELP! I'M SORRY JESUS GOD PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE HELP! THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE! GOD PLEASE JESUS!

I had begged in my mind.

Then it I felt it leave no more then two seconds later. Like it was sucked away or sanked into somewhere else. It was like a wooshing feeling.

 

[SwanPslam48]

I couldn't stop shaking. My teeth were chattering and I wasn't even cold.

I messaged my friends online asking for them to pray for me which they did.

I couldn't stop thinking about that feeling. The fear it gave me. If that was what I think it was ..then how do the people in hell feel where they can touch them there and can't cry out to God for help?

I'll never tell anyone to go to hell again or wish it on anyone. I told God thank you.

 

[SwanPslam48]

When I fell asleep that night I dreamed again.

This time it was just voices.

'I had you in my hand last night.' The voice laughed. 'What kind of Christian are you?' It laughed again.

'I never said I was a Christian!' I retorted.

Now I don't know why I said that. At all.

'You listen to holy music and read the bible.'

I cursed which caused it to laugh again.

Then I remembered what a friend of mine had told me.

Blood of christ.

As if it knew (well it probably did being in my mind and all..)

It said ' I twisted your words.'

And it didn't come out right. 'Christ..of..blood..of ch..'

and then I woke up.

I heard my name again but I wasn't worried about that.

Why did I deny being a Christian?

And then I realised it must of made me say it to make me feel guilty.

'What kind of Christian are you?' popped into my head.

'A damn good one if I'm such a treat to you.' I thought.

And then the whispering stopped (I don't hear them anymore right now or the whistles).




In the morning I asked God 'Was that..ya know..or one of his workers?'

(It felt that evil. I couldn't tell if it wasn't)

I flipped open the bible and my eyes went to the word 'enemies.'

'Okay thanks.' I thought with relief.

 

[MissesDenim]

[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. That story made my heart sank in my body like.. *Sighs for relief. Im at home alone and closed all doors just incase <_< (security reasons) but anyways. I dont think you should have even looked at the drawing, because now you have the image. So just dont think about it ever. But I liked this story for the simple fact I use to be an Atheist. (to Reincarnation then back to Christianity). Going on about how he doesn't exist when in truth I knew, I just wanted some kind of acknowledgement. That's why I strayed away in the first place, no type of contact. But Im learning that one day if I stay in the word he'll make himself known. Its amazing you seen a big orb of light on the table, even dark clouds..well that part isnt cool but the fact that you can even see into that realm is enough. I was reading up on Shadow people before and I heard they couldn't come into your house unless you invited them? Not sure that's just what I read. You should really cleanse your house though just to be on the safe side. But Im happy that your on our side now, hopefully you look more into your gift and use it to God's Will. Bless yooou

 

[SwanPslam48]

I don't recall inviting them..

I think they just picked up on how depressed I was or something.

Anyway.. I'll continue what's recently happened before I forget.

So I wanted to start reading the OT now and then re-read NT.
But that ment going back to the part that filled my head with lies and really blasphemous thoughts.

Yikes...


So I started..
And when I got to that part it was like an internal twist in my chest working it's way in followed with the lies an awful thoughts.

'Enough.' I thought.

'Enough.'

I didn't want to hear from them anymore.
So, I prayed.
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I wasn't expecting an answer.

 

[SwanPslam48]

I bent down my head and put my hands together and shut my eyes. That's how people are suppost to pray..right?

I focused on pushing the awful feeling from my chest while calling to God asking Him the question.

It was a simple question but it certainly didn't feel like it at the time.

I felt warmth and heat start to burn in my chest, pushing the bad feeling to the side.

"God, Why weren't Adam and Eve allowed to eat from the tree of life?"

It wasn't a voice.. it was a voice but it had no actual sound.

"Before they ate of the tree of Good and Evil they were God's children. Once they ate from the fruit they were seperated. God was only their Lord now. If they ate from the fruit of Life they would have been stuck in sin forever.

Forever seperated.

They were ment to eat of the tree of life first. God didn't want to be just their Lord.

Everything in the OT was leading toward Jesus. God is good. Sin is Bad.

God's people weren't able to go to heaven until Jesus died for us. Our sins tainted us. How could we go to heaven with a dirty soul?

We couldn't.
Which is why we had Abraham's Bosom.

The in-between heaven and hell. Once Jesus died he went there and took them to heaven.

God doesn't like us to be sent to hell. (I swear I heard a sob when I heared this)

Each one of us is different to Him. That's the only way satan can hurt Him. God expects us to choose Him. He doesn't think the worst of us. He hates sin cause it seperates us. God loves us.

Like a good father he'll let us choose to love Him and not sin.

If you love Him don't sin.

This place is nothing compared to what's waiting for us. Don't love anything of it. "

I had to stop there.

As I heard this I felt..love. Why?

Why?

If this was God why did I feel love from Him? After everything I said about Him..the bad thoughts..which were now fighting to fill my head.

I felt ...dirty.

Disgusting.

"Aren't you disgusted with me?" I thought while breaking the connection.

He didn't want me to go.

"No, no!"

I couldn't take it.

He still loved me after those thoughts were filling my head.

'I'm disgusting!' I thought and broke the connection, hating and never forgiving myself as the warmth left minutes later.

Oh God.

I hurt God.

His voice had pleaded me to stay and I left him...


I still haven't heard from Him again. I think He's waiting until I'm ready. Although part of me says he hasn't forgiven me despite the billion apologizes.

 

[SwanPslam48]

I needed help.

I needed to get rid of these thoughts which were attacking my mind.

I searched for hours online and I ended up fasting.

I prayed a praised

And then Prayed and Praised some more.

I did this off and on about every other day.

During so I kept having demonic nightmares. Rebuking demons in my dreams.

I'd rather not think about it right now..

Anyway.

One night I sang a small praise.

Nothing special.

Just mostly 'Thank you God. Thank you Jesus." repeatedly in my family's language.

I felt warmth in my chest and almost like a hand on my back after that. And it didn't leave me until tommorow afternoon. (it's amazing waking up and feeling that warmth btw.)

My mind was cured.


I visited my relatives the next day and told them what's been happening. Leaving the atheist part out (I'm not ready yet for them to know that.)

One of my aunts ended up crying and the other ended up telling me her stories against demons.




One night as I was fasting I saw a white orb on the ground. I could feel my brows furrow and I put my food near it (like I was about to step on it and it dissapeared.


I then walked into my room and in the coner of my eye I saw a translucent white thing..kinda like the orb..leave the room.

 

[SwanPslam48]

The next night the thoughts came back...

Why? I wondered.

The next morning I woke up and heard whispering in my ear.

After that I started singing praise every night and it's been working while I've been praying.

Two nights ago as I was singing praise I closed my eyes and opened them 8 seconds later and saw a white flash. It was like a camera flash. I ended up gasping.

 

[jpcedotal]

Have u ever read Silent Snow, Secret Snow by Conrad Aiken?

 

[SwanPslam48]

I just want to thank and bless who's been reading so far. Hopefully I'll have more heavenly encounters as God/Jesus help me.

 

[MissesDenim]

Im reading this book called Battle of The Mind by Joyce Myers, and I was just reading the chapter called "A Doubtful and Unbelieving Mind" here's a story she gave.

"There was a man who was sick and who was confessing the Word over his body, quoting healing Scriptures and believing for his healing to manifest. While doing so, he was intermittently attacked with thoughts of doubt.

After he had gone through hard time and was beginning to get discouraged, God opened his eyes to the spirit world. This is what he saw: a demon speaking lies to him, telling him that he was not going to get healed and that confessing the Word was not going to work. But he also saw that each time he confessed the Word, light would come out of his mouth like a sword, and the evil spirit would cower and fall backward.

As God showed him this vision, the man then understood why it was so important to keep speaking the Word. He saw that he did have faith, which is why the evil spirit was attacking him with doubt."
-How long will you halt between two opinions? -1 Kings 18:21

Just referring to the "I wasn't expecting an answer." part.
I too have a problem with that. Then learned maybe its me, because I was just watching a Benny Hinn video (that Im going to post up here-worth watching)
kind of like that and he was saying how God talks to us everyday! Its just the fact that we either don't realize it/aren't listening. He can say it better than I could ever muster but I simply stopped being disappointed in him not replying and concluded that I must not be walking righteous enough so that I can HEAR him :/ so I'll wait till I actually am ready for that. But here's the vid, Stay with the Word and dont get discouraged!

Benny Hinn - How to Get Result from Prayer - YouTube

Benny Hinn - Dreams & Visions Part 1 of 3 - YouTube

 

[simplee_mandee]

I have been reading your story and I am touched by it. I can relate to you on a couple of things your not alone. I too struggle with lying thoughts and I would have terror take over my body whenever I get them and feel so disgusting and unforgivable. I have realized that God see's our hearts and knows that these thoughts are lies. Our flesh is weak but our God is strong.

You have to forgive yourself first because you will keep beating yourself up over it and the thoughts will get worse from the guilt. Remember Jesus died for ALL of your sins even the ones you haven't done yet. I think sometimes if your overly afraid of God the thoughts come but viewing Him as a Loving understanding Father helps. You have had some really amazing experiences! I have had some scary experiences with demons before but the Lord has never let me down and has come to my rescue always !

Make sure to stay strong in faith because that is your shield and stay in God's Word because that is the Sword of the Spirit. When Jesus got tempted by the devil He responded back with scripture and he fled. "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:7). I will pray that the Lord keeps you strong !​

 

[MissesDenim]

Please forgive my last comment. I didnt see this other page you posted the rest on. But my reaction to the whole "God talking to me" thing..*JUMPS ON THE BED* !!!! GOD TALKED TO YOOOOOU.!!! Thats SOOO COOOOOOL.!!! AAAND YOU FELT HIS HAND ON YOU. IF I was there and you was telling me about God talking to you and you feeling him and his love I would have cried. I dont know why but I know I just would have lol. But Wooow. You must be highly intune with your spiritual side. Seeing orbs and all the liking. and for you to be hearing whispering is creepy.. well. They whisper in all of our ears but for you to actually hear it and be aware is like *runs away* lol but Im joking. Thats cool that your family backs you up on this though, nice to know they are responding positively about it, you should share some of your spiritual experiences with them. It is very interesting and eye opening for those that are completely oblivious to the other side. It sounds like your in a battle though. Like they are really trying to get you. :/ kind of scary when you think about it.. but yeah. I have experienced that flash too. Where I experienced it was in my house in my kitchen. I was sitting at the kitchen table and where the flash took place. was like a few feet infront of me. By the fridge and the trash can and by the pantry door which was closed and no windows over there neither. I still have yet to find an explanation for the flash so if you find one, let me knoow. But I dont know whatsup with the orbs your seeing. As for being good or bad...I dont know. You should most definitely pray about what you are seeing. Im wondering why you have so much spiritual activity over there...does the people who live in the house with you see what your seeing? I doubt it, but I anticipate your response :] (I too have struggling thoughts that I battle out in my head. Im not conscious to know when Im under attack or just a innocent thought crossing my mind. I do know that when something is heavy on my mind to where Im confused and unsettling about God or something Im doing in my life that Im unsure if its wrong or right Im up through the night searching for answers in the bible+online. I havent done that since dropping the lgbt lifestyle. I backslid quite a bit sense opening this account..Time to get back in it. )

 

[SwanPslam48]

You guys I'm so sorry for not updating or replying. So many things have happened again.

Alright. All tell you now.. *deep breath*

I kept looking at what I needed to do to get rid of this demon in my home. It's been there since feb and it was near april any day now?

Enough.

So I googled and realised I got a lot of bad things in my home. Vampire movies, Buffy the vampire slayer, Angel, Harry potter ect. (Yes, I loved fantasy.)

So got rid of it as all the Christian websites told me to and I put it all in bags the living room ( I was tired from cleaning and needed rest.) Then I fell asleep.

The next day I woke up and a bad thought popped into my mind then left as quickly as it came.

'Weird.' I thought.

I sat up and stretched. Walked out my bedroom door to see if my parents already left. As I walked out the room passed the living room I heard my name and a sharp pain in my stomach accompained by it.

This was the same voice I heard from the same demon.

I looked over and knew it was coming from where the plastic bags were.

I ran to my room (lol) and waited until my parents got home and told my mother what just happened.

they grabbed the bags and put them in the storage. As they did that I grabbed some olive oil and asked God to please bless it then poured some in my hand.

I walked around all over the house, dabbing it on the walls and dripping some of the floor and pretty much everwhere and on everything. I went around the house too.

Then I with into the storage and covered the place and the door filled with all the stuff I had.

That following night I heard a loud noise.

I thought the tables were shaking. 'Maybe the demon is back and is p o'ffed?

I walked to the kitchen.

Everything looked normal.

I went back into my room and sat down on the bed.

I heard it again and went to check. Nope.

Table and chairs normal.

My grandpa must of seen my face cause he asked what was wrong.

I said 'nothing.' because just I realised something.

The kitchen table is pressed against a wall. in through that wall in directly where the storage is...

I walked over to the wall and put my hand on it and my ear.

It said my name.

I walked away quickly and not even a minute later my mother walked inside.

I asked her "Mom, is anyone in the storage?..like breaking in or something?" ( I could hope lol.)

She raised her brow and said 'no?' then despite my pleads walked over to the storage and switched on the light. 'No, everything looks normal."

I told her to follow me and we walked inside my room and I told her what just happened.

"There it is again! Don't you hear it shaking the door?"

She shook her head. "Just rebuke it."

'Easy for you to say.' I thought.

I prayed for God to take it away. But He didn't. I knew I had to do it.

So after 20 minutes of preparing myself I did it.

"I REBUKE YOU IN JESUS NAME AMEN!"

Then it went quiet.

I've been told by friends I might have the gift of Discerning of spirits.
What do you guys think?


Discerning of spirits is the supernatural ability given by the Holy Spirit to perceive the source of a spiritual manifestation and determine whether it is of God (Acts 10:30-35), of the devil (Acts 16:16-18), of man (Acts 8:18-23), or of the world. It is not mind reading, psychic phenomena, or the ability to criticize and find fault.

Discerning of spirits must be done by the power of the Holy Spirit; He bears witness with our spirit when something is or is not of God. The gift of discerning of spirits is the supernatural power to detect the realm of the spirits and their activities. It implies the power of spiritual insight - the supernatural revelation of plans and purposes of the enemy and his forces. It is a gift which protects and guards your Christian life.

 

[simplee_mandee]

You guys I'm so sorry for not updating or replying. So many things have happened again.

Alright. All tell you now.. *deep breath*

I kept looking at what I needed to do to get rid of this demon in my home. It's been there since feb and it was near april any day now?

Enough.

So I googled and realised I got a lot of bad things in my home. Vampire movies, Buffy the vampire slayer, Angel, Harry potter ect. (Yes, I loved fantasy.)

So got rid of it as all the Christian websites told me to and I put it all in bags the living room ( I was tired from cleaning and needed rest.) Then I fell asleep.

The next day I woke up and a bad thought popped into my mind then left as quickly as it came.

'Weird.' I thought.

I sat up and stretched. Walked out my bedroom door to see if my parents already left. As I walked out the room passed the living room I heard my name and a sharp pain in my stomach accompained by it.

This was the same voice I heard from the same demon.

I looked over and knew it was coming from where the plastic bags were.

I ran to my room (lol) and waited until my parents got home and told my mother what just happened.

they grabbed the bags and put them in the storage. As they did that I grabbed some olive oil and asked God to please bless it then poured some in my hand.

I walked around all over the house, dabbing it on the walls and dripping some of the floor and pretty much everwhere and on everything. I went around the house too.

Then I with into the storage and covered the place and the door filled with all the stuff I had.

That following night I heard a loud noise.

I thought the tables were shaking. 'Maybe the demon is back and is p o'ffed?

I walked to the kitchen.

Everything looked normal.

I went back into my room and sat down on the bed.

I heard it again and went to check. Nope.

Table and chairs normal.

My grandpa must of seen my face cause he asked what was wrong.

I said 'nothing.' because just I realised something.

The kitchen table is pressed against a wall. in through that wall in directly where the storage is...

I walked over to the wall and put my hand on it and my ear.

It said my name.

I walked away quickly and not even a minute later my mother walked inside.

I asked her "Mom, is anyone in the storage?..like breaking in or something?" ( I could hope lol.)

She raised her brow and said 'no?' then despite my pleads walked over to the storage and switched on the light. 'No, everything looks normal."

I told her to follow me and we walked inside my room and I told her what just happened.

"There it is again! Don't you hear it shaking the door?"

She shook her head. "Just rebuke it."

'Easy for you to say.' I thought.

I prayed for God to take it away. But He didn't. I knew I had to do it.

So after 20 minutes of preparing myself I did it.

"I REBUKE YOU IN JESUS NAME AMEN!"

Then it went quiet.

I've been told by friends I might have the gift of Discerning of spirits.
What do you guys think?


Discerning of spirits is the supernatural ability given by the Holy Spirit to perceive the source of a spiritual manifestation and determine whether it is of God (Acts 10:30-35), of the devil (Acts 16:16-18), of man (Acts 8:18-23), or of the world. It is not mind reading, psychic phenomena, or the ability to criticize and find fault.

Discerning of spirits must be done by the power of the Holy Spirit; He bears witness with our spirit when something is or is not of God. The gift of discerning of spirits is the supernatural power to detect the realm of the spirits and their activities. It implies the power of spiritual insight - the supernatural revelation of plans and purposes of the enemy and his forces. It is a gift which protects and guards your Christian life.

Yeah it sounds like you do o_o! I kinda have it sometimes but I can only physically feel, sense, see stuff moving by itself, or make a signs. I can only see or hear if I'm in a state where I am really tired or zoned out almost like meditation lol. It sounds like your discernment is a lot more obvious then mine.

I remember a year ago I did the same thing I threw away so much of my stuff because I was really into fantasy, the paranormal, and anime. That kind of stuff can be open doors to bad spirits sometimes :/. I think I opened a door because I started to fall away from Christianity and get into New Age about 6 yrs ago.

What a mistake -_-... It started to scare me at some point in the teachings and it just didn't sound right so I turned away from it. An important thing to remember is to have strong faith when you bind or rebuke bad spirits in Jesus's name because I think they can tell. It has been helping me lately.

If you need anybody to talk to that you can relate to you, you can always e-mail me I have some pretty crazy things that have happened to me to o_o. Maybe we can help each other out.

​