At which point exactly does interaction with members of the same sex become a sin?

[myopic]

Ok, I am a guy and I have pretty strong homosexual tendencies. I'm only 16 and I haven't spoken to my father since birth and recently cut ties with my mother as well. So anyway, the whole horrible thing with my parents has made me really cold and reserved, I only feel comfortable alone, and I have never truely cared for anyone in my entire life. But I have resolved to change this and become a better person by making and helping out anyone whos willing to be my friend.

However, I'm really worried about the homosexual thing. How will I ever know if the love I have for a male friend is pure and doesn't stem from my homosexuality? It sounds stupid, but I don't think I will be able to tell the difference between love and being in love when I come to it. Is it okay to totally love and connect with someone of the same sex as long as there is no sexual physical contact or thoughts? Can someone plz explain these things, I can't even begin to deal with my sexuality if I don't even have a social life or support network.

 

[Ilovemyhusband]

There are a couple things that I think you should know:

A) As long as there are no sexual feelings or struggles with your male friend, I don't think you have a problem. Just look at how extremely close David and Jonathan were in 1 Samuel. They loved each other dearly, but not romantically.

B) If you have homosexual tendencies, you are playing with fire if you do not talk with your pastor or an elder man who can guide you in the way of the Lord. The Bible is clear in Romans that homosexuality is an unnatural lust.

C) Cutting ties with your mother (or any parent) is not recommended or biblical. You are to honor your parents for it is pleasing to the Lord. If she is not saved and you are, then you are not acting in a salty way to draw her to Christ. If she *is* saved, then she is the one who can lead you in a non-judgmental way to the foot of the Cross concerning this problem.Cutting her off is not good. Everyone needs their momma.

My momma is a cold lady. She will probably always blame me for the divorce and will not love me. She is not cut off, though. I say I can live without her, but I know that I know if I need some "Momma lovin'" then I can go over to her house and even though she is cold and downright hateful...one of her hugs can seem to make it all better. Plus, I know that if I do not love, honor, and respect her, I am in disobedience to the Lord. That can hinder one's prayers, you know. I don't want ANYTHING to come between me and God and I know you don't either. Give Mom a call and re-establish that relationship with her. Trust me..it is worth it.

 

[apologia25]

Brother,
First I want to say that I will be praying for you. Secondly I have struggled with Same sex attractions all my life and I still struggle. In my life I have many guy friends and I am close with them. Just as Ilovemyhusband said it is good to look at the examples in the Bible like David and jonathan. I read a book once about what God's replacement is with homosexuality. Other than the obvious marriage it dealt with a different issue. That being what is the true need of someone who has been involved in that lifestyle. The truth is that men contrary to popular belief need close guys friends. I have friends and over the phone we say that we love each other and we pray for each other. In my mind I put it as the love for son, which keeps me from thinking anything else. It is this comradery that we are really looking for. Someone to share our happiness and pain, tears and problems with in a way that isn't homosexual. If there are thoughts like that then you need to give them to God and have Him replace them with the right ones. Following Jesus is about exchanging the old sinful mind for the new mind. Also Jesus wants you to put under control your tendencies. I would imagine those to be porn and masturbation. These if your doing them need to be stopped as they are wood for the fire. Fell free to write me and ask anything

 

[KindGuardian]

Okay, I can relate with you alot. I used to have that problem with a friend of mine. First, I would suggest talking about it. If he's really good friends with you, then you really need to talk about it. If he's Christian, then you should really really really talk about it. My friend and I were (still are) amazing friends. I had been recovering and trying to get out of homosexual feelings. My friend and I were both relaly good Christians and he was even my acountability partner. Eventually, I had to tell him. Now, I don't express myself as good in spoken words, so I wrote him a simple note... actually it was several pages long. As childish as it sounds, that's how I told him and expressed myself. I was so afraid he'd be scared of me or reject me or treat me different. It was my biggest fear. I wrote him the note, told him I had been struggling with being gay. I told him I had even looked at gay pornography and such in the past. I told him everything. He was a Christian, and my best friend. I wasn't there when he read the note, but the second he did, he burnt the note for confidence, and called me. He told me he loved me (non sexual way) he forgives me the same way God does. He told me he would help me with it. He said he understands what I'm trying to say to him. He still loved me, accepted me, and helped me. Maybe even loved me more than before. It was so amazing, it felt so good to get it out and everything. My feelings have got much better, and God has blessed me for it and helped me. If he's your really good friend, he wants nothing more that your pain to stop and your problems and struggles to stop. So, even though you may be so scared, and it even makes your heart beat fast now to even begin thinking about revealing yourself, it's best for you and you'll recieve help from him. If he's not Christian, or not a really close friend... then telling him may not be the best way. Avoidance. It doesn't sound good, but you can't put yourself in temptation like that. It's playing with fire, and it can't help you in anyways. So, hope that helps. I'll keep an eye on this topic to see if you tell him or not, to see if your friend is close to you or christian, and to support and help you if you are still scared and encourage and pray for you in your struggles.

 

[myopic]

C) Cutting ties with your mother (or any parent) is not recommended or biblical. You are to honor your parents for it is pleasing to the Lord. If she is not saved and you are, then you are not acting in a salty way to draw her to Christ. If she *is* saved, then she is the one who can lead you in a non-judgmental way to the foot of the Cross concerning this problem.Cutting her off is not good. Everyone needs their momma.

Oh wow, that is really like the hardest thing on earth for me to do. I can, and have been trying to improve all other aspects of myself such as the homosexual tendencies and how I treat people in general; but this issue with my parents is really just horrible. I definitely won't bring myself to hate them or hurt them, but its just that any kind of communication of love from me to them will lead to nothing but me receiving pain. It just isn't worth it, they aren't worth it. What is the bare minimum relationship with one's parents that God states we should have? I will try to follow his word as closely as possible...

 

[myopic]

Okay, I can relate with you alot. I used to have that problem with a friend of mine. First, I would suggest talking about it. If he's really good friends with you, then you really need to talk about it. If he's Christian, then you should really really really talk about it. My friend and I were (still are) amazing friends. I had been recovering and trying to get out of homosexual feelings. My friend and I were both relaly good Christians and he was even my acountability partner. Eventually, I had to tell him. Now, I don't express myself as good in spoken words, so I wrote him a simple note... actually it was several pages long. As childish as it sounds, that's how I told him and expressed myself. I was so afraid he'd be scared of me or reject me or treat me different. It was my biggest fear. I wrote him the note, told him I had been struggling with being gay. I told him I had even looked at gay pornography and such in the past. I told him everything. He was a Christian, and my best friend. I wasn't there when he read the note, but the second he did, he burnt the note for confidence, and called me. He told me he loved me (non sexual way) he forgives me the same way God does. He told me he would help me with it. He said he understands what I'm trying to say to him. He still loved me, accepted me, and helped me. Maybe even loved me more than before. It was so amazing, it felt so good to get it out and everything. My feelings have got much better, and God has blessed me for it and helped me. If he's your really good friend, he wants nothing more that your pain to stop and your problems and struggles to stop. So, even though you may be so scared, and it even makes your heart beat fast now to even begin thinking about revealing yourself, it's best for you and you'll recieve help from him. If he's not Christian, or not a really close friend... then telling him may not be the best way. Avoidance. It doesn't sound good, but you can't put yourself in temptation like that. It's playing with fire, and it can't help you in anyways. So, hope that helps. I'll keep an eye on this topic to see if you tell him or not, to see if your friend is close to you or christian, and to support and help you if you are still scared and encourage and pray for you in your struggles.

Wow, thats a great story, thanks for sharing it. I didn't exactly have a guy in mind when I wrote the post. I was just confused in general about how close two males could actually get before comitting a sin, for when I actually get a male best friend.

 

[he_is_risen!!]

Ok, I am a guy and I have pretty strong homosexual tendencies. I'm only 16 and I haven't spoken to my father since birth and recently cut ties with my mother as well. So anyway, the whole horrible thing with my parents has made me really cold and reserved, I only feel comfortable alone, and I have never truely cared for anyone in my entire life. But I have resolved to change this and become a better person by making and helping out anyone whos willing to be my friend.

However, I'm really worried about the homosexual thing. How will I ever know if the love I have for a male friend is pure and doesn't stem from my homosexuality? It sounds stupid, but I don't think I will be able to tell the difference between love and being in love when I come to it. Is it okay to totally love and connect with someone of the same sex as long as there is no sexual physical contact or thoughts? Can someone plz explain these things, I can't even begin to deal with my sexuality if I don't even have a social life or support network.

Hey I know exactly what you are feeling. I too struggle with homosexuality and I have few close guy friends. For a long time I had 98% girl friends. See I was SO afraid of someone finding out that I never hung out with guys because of a fear that they might find out. I have been fighting temptations for at least 2-3 yrs and you know what, in that time I have grown the most when I hang out with other guys.

I still worry about them finding out because I don't know how the would react, but don't worry about that. I honestly believe that satan will, and does, prey on people like you and me because it is other guys that will be able to help us the most. Think of it this way, satan sees you as a threat to him because you have experiance and a testimony that may one day saved someone's life. So when you feel out of place with guys, just realize that when you pray for the Lord to help you He will. In that last year I have made friends with several guy s in my youth group and I love them. I love them like brothers and would lay down my life for them. See love of another guy isn' wrong. It's when you turn it into lust that it causes a problem. So just pray for clarity and the Lord will give it to you.

I would first say that it would be good for you to find a good church with a good youth program and start going. If your alreaedy in a youth group and you really trust the pastor then tell him. It's hard, but I am now meeting with my youth pastor every week, and it's great cause I become refreshed afterwards. I get really drained during the week because I am fighting. SO use church and the people there to give you strength to keep going. Just remember that you will never be defeated by sin, unless you give up. I am here to help if I can. In Christ's love, Casey

 

[headedhome]

Brother be careful, we need close male friends but the enemy will use this against us if we let our guard down. I've struggled with this for years but thankfully through posts here and sunday sermons God is focusing my attention on Him and the victory I have in Christ Jesus. Seek to draw closer to God, try not to live on the edges but get to the center of Christianity, Love God, Love people. It's up to you to put up guards if love starts turning to lust. I failed at this in the past by taking my focus off Christ. Praying that your focus stays on Jesus, bless you and your young life.

 

[LovesLife]

Ok, I am a guy and I have pretty strong homosexual tendencies. I'm only 16 and I haven't spoken to my father since birth and recently cut ties with my mother as well. So anyway, the whole horrible thing with my parents has made me really cold and reserved, I only feel comfortable alone, and I have never truely cared for anyone in my entire life. But I have resolved to change this and become a better person by making and helping out anyone whos willing to be my friend.

Brother, I can't over emphisise how important repairing your relationship parents is! first off all our relationships with others should reflect our relationship with God is. We were hopelessly lost sinners totally unworthy of His love and in spite of that, He loved us and saved us! No matter how great the gulf between you and your parents, it could never compare to the gulf that God crossed with the cross to bring us to himself! One sure way to begin the healling is to regularly pray for them. I really don't believe it is posable to hold on to bitter feeings against someone your praying for!
Until you get past the isues with your parents you will never get over the other relationship problams you are having.

Eph 4:2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

Now you have not said anything about you or your families relationship with the Lord. Were you raised in a Christian home? Did get saved resently?
Do you understand that God's love for you is in spite of what you are? Do you realise that our love for others must be in spite of who they are?

Praying for you

LovesLife

 

[Bromat]

Bro...i am glad many has given you wise counsel...Proverbs 15:22-24: Where there is no counsel, purposes are frustrated, but with many counselors they are accomplished. A man has joy in making an apt answer, and a word spoken at the right moment , how good it is! The path of the wise leads upward to life, that he may avoid the gloom in the depths of Sheol... my dear friend... Thanks for your frank sharing...Said a prayer for you today. God never fails. We just need to obey him. I totally agree with Casey, we need God's people help to guide us in overcoming temptations. Singapore has already become a open society and now widely accepts the gay culture. It is tough for many Christians....and temptations are real for many of us who have gay friends. We need to rightly understand these issues from God's word and also from the way we are made. I am a Church youth worker from Singapore and some of my youths have shared there struggles too. I thank God for keeping them in His love. I am sure you would be able to overcome it thru right fellowship. If you need help just Pm me.