at what age did you start disciplining your baby?

[Entertaining_Angels]

I think we just live in a politically correct society that puts undue emphasis on euphemisms and often does not understand the meaning of a word (i.e. the 'nig-gerdly' debate...sorry had to put in the dash...CF won't even allow that word) but you know, a rose by any other name...and whatever word we use for how we prepare our children for life doesn't really matter and doesn't change how we are raising our kiddos.

'training' (taken from onelook)
Quick definitions (training)
noun: activity leading to skilled behavior
noun: the result of good upbringing (especially knowledge of correct social behavior)

 

[Leanna]

I don't think the the objection is so much to the word "training", but rather some of the ideas and practices some people have who use that word

Well I didn't know people would get soooooo worked up because I don't like the words train-your-baby. I will never say I am training my baby because it sounds like the Pearls (they call it training, what they do) or that one sleep-training book where they tell you to train by Extinction, meaning never go see your baby when he/she is crying even if it lasts for 2-3 hours, I think it might be called "healthy sleep habits happy baby." So it as RoseofLime said, its not the word, its the ideas and practices associated with it, parents with a positive outlook almost always avoid the word train, especially for babies.

Discipline to me starts from birth, but its not all the negative things I often hear it associated with, self-discipline as an adult is not about how I am punished but about learning the correct behaviors and avoiding the behaviors that do not encourage growth, its about doing things I wouldn't always want to do such as schoolwork for this class I am taking right now... no one had to punish me to help me learn self-discipline even as a child. So those are my feelings, take what you want and leave the rest, but this thread is majorly off topic so let's get back to it, and if anyone else wants to discuss this with me let's use PMs and just let this thread stick with the original topic of how and when.

 

[EmSchmem]

So in this thread it sounds like some are using 'disciplining' as code word for spanking?

I begin disciplining my child right after birth as we begin to nurse and I have to pop her off and relatch her properly. To me discipline is loving guidance with the goal of restoring right relationship within our family. Sometimes that loving guidance means withholding things that people want, or desire to do or see (think Moses and the Promised Land).

I don't see what the big error is in removing some breakable things, etc out of baby's reach--to me that sounds prudent- as well as covering outlets. We also simply put hair rubber bands around the handles of our cabinets, so that baby can't get in them. The reality is that I can't be everywhere at once. And if baby is playing in the living room while I am doing dishes, I simply CAN"T redirect her if she goes for an outlet. Somehow my kids can all function in non-child friendly environments. I don't know I see that our house is their home, too--and we try to strike a balance between adult and child friendly.

I personally at that age limit the use of the word "No."....and say rather things like "Not for baby...this is for baby" "Hurt baby....no touch...hurt baby" I save no for the biggies--outlest and things coupled with "Hot! Hurt baby, no touch!". I don't know I think it makes it clearer to the child as they get older what they are and are not supposed to be doing.

Like others have said consistency is the most important thing, and remembering that it takes like a million times before they have internalized what you were trying to teach them. Don't get discouraged if it is taking a long time--they WILL get it!

You make some great points. "No' at some point becomes numb to babies it seems. And at a certain point they understand much more. There is a big difference between NO and DANGER. But all of this is situation dependant. Levi is biting right now and NO NO and Biting hurts are not phasing him at all.

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

its not the word, its the ideas and practices associated with it, parents with a positive outlook almost always avoid the word train, especially for babies.

.

Yes, I am just known for my negative outlook on child rearing ...must be why I 'train' them (just want to say, I'm not offended at all...that just struck me as humorous)

 

[katelyn]

Well I didn't know people would get soooooo worked up because I don't like the words train-your-baby. I will never say I am training my baby because it sounds like the Pearls (they call it training, what they do) or that one sleep-training book where they tell you to train by Extinction, meaning never go see your baby when he/she is crying even if it lasts for 2-3 hours, I think it might be called "The happiest baby on the block."

The Happiest Baby on the Block is actually a *great* book that encourages parents to use age-old methods such as babywearing, swaddling, and shushing/white noise to help newborn babies get to sleep - so that parents DON'T feel that they have to use CIO.

 

[Leanna]

The Happiest Baby on the Block is actually a *great* book that encourages parents to use age-old methods such as babywearing, swaddling, and shushing/white noise to help newborn babies get to sleep - so that parents DON'T feel that they have to use CIO.

Hmm, well I was at the bookstore last week and picked up a book that said it could help you get your baby to sleep so I was curious (my guy sleeps really well, but I just thought I'd look) and it said Extinction with an explanation about it. Waaaiiit.... I wonder if it was Healthy Sleep habits, healthy child/baby.

 

[andiesmama]

I was just using that potty-training post as an example....it's simply semantics. We're all talking about basically the same thing, we just call it by different names.

Train/guide/discipline/whatever....we as parents do what works best for us and our kids. And some may start earlier than others, it just depends on the different situations.

 

[RoseofLima]

I think we should "train" our children like the Bible says. But I think the word "train" and what it means can be misused. And that is the issue some people have with it. I don't "train" my child like an animal but like a human being. I don't spank or hit in anyway. But I am still training them up in the way of the Lord.

From birth I started teaching my child. Just doesn't look the same then as it does now (he is almost 2)

But of course, it is not consistently translated as "train"--it depends on the translation you pull off the shelf.

I am not trying to be argumentative Just that I often see people using the Bible to justify harsh treatment of their children, to make them subservient as a primary goal. But to prepare a way for the Lord, we need enable our children to think and choose critically in full freedom. The life of a Christian is one first and foremost of freedom, not one of cowering subservience. True love casts out fear...that is not to say that we oughtn't have a filial fear of the Lord (or that our children ought not have a reverence for us as parents), which is a gift of the Holy SPirit...but I think that awareness of God's bigness & majesty and our own smallness...is very different from what a child feels when they are scared of their parents.

 

[katelyn]

Hmm, well I was at the bookstore last week and picked up a book that said it could help you get your baby to sleep so I was curious (my guy sleeps really well, but I just thought I'd look) and it said Extinction with an explanation about it. Waaaiiit.... I wonder if it was Healthy Sleep habits, healthy child/baby.

After reading the Amazon summary and reviews for Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child, I would guess it was that one as he does seem to recommend CIO. I just didn't want anyone to have an incorrect impression of The Happiest Baby on the Block as it's a great resource if you don't want to CIO. (We used it with Natalie and I'm giving it to my best friend at her baby shower.)

 

[RoseofLima]

You make some great points. "No' at some point becomes numb to babies it seems. And at a certain point they understand much more. There is a big difference between NO and DANGER. But all of this is situation dependant. Levi is biting right now and NO NO and Biting hurts are not phasing him at all.

Ughhh- I HATE the biting phase!

 

[Leanna]

You make some great points. "No' at some point becomes numb to babies it seems. And at a certain point they understand much more. There is a big difference between NO and DANGER. But all of this is situation dependant. Levi is biting right now and NO NO and Biting hurts are not phasing him at all.

Sounds like teething, we like frozen damp washcloths over here. David is teething again with big teeth, and he forgot about frozen washcloths so I got one out and started chewing on it to demonstrate. Then he took it from me and tried it. Ummm, anyway, maybe you could say "bite this" and hand him something he can bite.

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

But of course, it is not consistently translated as "train"--it depends on the translation you pull off the shelf.

I am curious what version of the Bible you read. Believe me, I'm not trying to argue it either...I just see it as political correctness.

Here are the versions I looked up (all Proverbs 22:6):

NIV (UK version):
6Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

NIV:
6 Train [a] a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.

KJV:
6Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

NKJV:
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

NASB:
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

These are the most popular versions I see on this site and the ones generally thought to be more consistant with the original texts.

As I understand it, the original word for 'train' is paideuo which translates to 'train' (open to correction or training though ). I am sure some of the less literal translations of the Bible may change the word but the original word was train. I do think this is important because there is a real push to make Christian parenting look cruel and unusual and I think this may be a part of it. We're told directly in the Bible to train up our children. I'm not a spanker and my parenting style is definitely not cruel nor unusual. I think most truly Christian parents are wonderful parents who are not cruel nor negative. In fact, true (not talking about the ones who literally want to beat the he** out of their children) Christian parenting is about the most positive beneficial parenting out there.

So again, I think it boils down to semantics. The word itself is probably just a strawman of the secularlized word detracting from the true meaning which is to 'cause one to learn' or the 'molding of character'...neither one a negative connotation at all.

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

Ughhh- I HATE the biting phase!

yes, me too. My daughter was a biter but fortunately is now out of that stage. We had to teach her how to redirect that anger. So much of it is just frustration with not being able to communicate effectively.

 

[Leanna]

Ahhh, yes, the Pearl's favorite verse.... the irony that you chose it. Who cares about train or not to train? Who cares? It was just an opinion, let's move on already....

 

[peanut72]

I don't honestly remember the age my wife and I started. It was more situational. Trying to grab a power cord plugged into the wall for example would get a no at first, and if he kept doing it a slap on the hand. If he kept doing it, he would be picked up and moved. Temper tantrums we treated one of two ways. We either ignored them entirely, or put him in his crib. Now that our son is 4, it is put in his bed. He really hates that. If he really being bad, or mean to his little brother - he loses priveleges/toys/etc. We don't spank as much now, because he hates losing stuff.

 

[EmSchmem]

Sounds like teething, we like frozen damp washcloths over here. David is teething again with big teeth, and he forgot about frozen washcloths so I got one out and started chewing on it to demonstrate. Then he took it from me and tried it. Ummm, anyway, maybe you could say "bite this" and hand him something he can bite.

It's not just teething. There is a marked difference between then and now. When he was teething he'd kind of gnaw on us. Now he comes over with the ornery grin on his face, bites down HARD, pulls the skin away and doesn't let go until you grab him. Then he smiles again and kisses you. All the time with this up to no good look on his face. I know that look well. Everyone in my family has it. I miss when it was just teething.

 

[lin1235]

Silly question: Who's the "Pearls"?

Personally I am more comfortable with training/teaching than the word discipline, just for me discipline implies the child did something wrong (that he/she knew was wrong). In the sense of "spanking is one method of disciplining a child". So my view is that a child that young (7 months) can't be "disciplined", but they can be "teached".

Strange how we use the same vocabulary but have vastly different meanings for it! I always pick up on these differences because the internet is so American and coming from South Africa there are many areas where saying things the way I would here can be taken as something totally different by someone online!

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

Strange how we use the same vocabulary but have vastly different meanings for it! I always pick up on these differences because the internet is so American and coming from South Africa there are many areas where saying things the way I would here can be taken as something totally different by someone online!

I know it really interests me. Some of my undergrad studies focused on the use of words and geography. It is fascinating. I think for 'train' though, Christian women tend to use it more because that is what we read in the Bible. Not saying that a mom who doesn't use it is not Christian though because nowhere in the Bible does it say, "Thou shalt use the word train when referring to kiddos." It is just not always a popular secularized word because people use it for pets too. We've just given it so many meanings that the Biblical use is forgotten by many.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

I'm not a parent who covered or removed items...I just kept simply reminding my child not to touch and it didn't take a long time to learn...they picked up on it quickly...
As for "disciplining"...I started a little before 1.

This is me. When DD was about 9 months she started touching things that she wasn't allowed to touch so I simply popped her little hand and told her no. She didn't do it any more and I never had to remove my breakables. I hope to goodness DS is as easy as she was.