At my wits end with shallow Christian women

[ThisIsMe123]

I got a chance to chat with a woman on Plenty of Fish. Apparently she had moved away from the big city to where I live, locally. She has only lived here a week, but had been on POF since last year when she was in the city.

I contacted her as we were both seeking Christians and such. She has her in headline, "No short men and must be local only"

Being how she's only 5'5", I had to ask her what is "short" or "tall" to her. Mind you, she has herself listed as a BBW, so she's got some weight on her...and, I'm able to look past that. HER, however, well...she told me she prefers men 5'10" and over as she tends to always wear high heels and wants to be taller than her man.
I said to her, "Isn't that rather shallow of you as a Christian woman?!" and she goes, "There's nothing in the Bible that says that I cannot date whom I"m not attracted to, I prefer what I prefer"

That said, I told her since she's only willing to date locally AND wants to date only Christian...she's really kind of up the creek without a paddle. Her standards are already severely limiting.

She had already told me she's given up on Plenty of Fish, and I am wondering of coming back with, "Well, considering I'm the best you can do from this site, that's available, why not give it a shot? No expectations?" But I dunno.

This has pretty much led me to believe that among the standard Christian single, that people put their beliefs a few rungs below what really matters to them. And to be honest, it's sad that though I can look past her physical flaws and be willing to meet for lunch or whatever, she's not willing to look past mine. Honestly, I've dated better looking women, so maybe It's best that she did reject me?

What I would get a kick out on some ads where women say how that there's more to them than just their looks, as they get a lot of compliments and want to be acknowledged for their personality...but they themselves can look past looks.

THere's just a certain...double standard when it comes to expectations in dating.

IE, a fat person expecting a fit person to find them attractive, and not open to dating their equal in looks.

 

[pc_76]

I got a chance to chat with a woman on Plenty of Fish. Apparently she had moved away from the big city to where I live, locally. She has only lived here a week, but had been on POF since last year when she was in the city.

I contacted her as we were both seeking Christians and such. She has her in headline, "No short men and must be local only"

Being how she's only 5'5", I had to ask her what is "short" or "tall" to her. Mind you, she has herself listed as a BBW, so she's got some weight on her...and, I'm able to look past that. HER, however, well...she told me she prefers men 5'10" and over as she tends to always wear high heels and wants to be taller than her man.
I said to her, "Isn't that rather shallow of you as a Christian woman?!" and she goes, "There's nothing in the Bible that says that I cannot date whom I"m not attracted to, I prefer what I prefer"

That said, I told her since she's only willing to date locally AND wants to date only Christian...she's really kind of up the creek without a paddle. Her standards are already severely limiting.

She had already told me she's given up on Plenty of Fish, and I am wondering of coming back with, "Well, considering I'm the best you can do from this site, that's available, why not give it a shot? No expectations?" But I dunno.

This has pretty much led me to believe that among the standard Christian single, that people put their beliefs a few rungs below what really matters to them. And to be honest, it's sad that though I can look past her physical flaws and be willing to meet for lunch or whatever, she's not willing to look past mine. Honestly, I've dated better looking women, so maybe It's best that she did reject me?

What I would get a kick out on some ads where women say how that there's more to them than just their looks, as they get a lot of compliments and want to be acknowledged for their personality...but they themselves can look past looks.

THere's just a certain...double standard when it comes to expectations in dating.

IE, a fat person expecting a fit person to find them attractive, and not open to dating their equal in looks.

I have made a thread about this subject and it annoys be that I didn't get sympathy for it.

 

[Charlie24]

I got a chance to chat with a woman on Plenty of Fish. Apparently she had moved away from the big city to where I live, locally. She has only lived here a week, but had been on POF since last year when she was in the city.

I contacted her as we were both seeking Christians and such. She has her in headline, "No short men and must be local only"

Being how she's only 5'5", I had to ask her what is "short" or "tall" to her. Mind you, she has herself listed as a BBW, so she's got some weight on her...and, I'm able to look past that. HER, however, well...she told me she prefers men 5'10" and over as she tends to always wear high heels and wants to be taller than her man.
I said to her, "Isn't that rather shallow of you as a Christian woman?!" and she goes, "There's nothing in the Bible that says that I cannot date whom I"m not attracted to, I prefer what I prefer"

That said, I told her since she's only willing to date locally AND wants to date only Christian...she's really kind of up the creek without a paddle. Her standards are already severely limiting.

She had already told me she's given up on Plenty of Fish, and I am wondering of coming back with, "Well, considering I'm the best you can do from this site, that's available, why not give it a shot? No expectations?" But I dunno.

This has pretty much led me to believe that among the standard Christian single, that people put their beliefs a few rungs below what really matters to them. And to be honest, it's sad that though I can look past her physical flaws and be willing to meet for lunch or whatever, she's not willing to look past mine. Honestly, I've dated better looking women, so maybe It's best that she did reject me?

What I would get a kick out on some ads where women say how that there's more to them than just their looks, as they get a lot of compliments and want to be acknowledged for their personality...but they themselves can look past looks.

THere's just a certain...double standard when it comes to expectations in dating.

IE, a fat person expecting a fit person to find them attractive, and not open to dating their equal in looks.

If you're going after a lady and know from the start you don't meet her standard, it takes charm to get that first date.

Words like "shallow" and "limited" are not going to get you there.

Next time, find something in her profile that is interesting to you, complement her on it and show your interest. Keep it pleasant and no matter what happens don't go negative in any way.

Women are strange creatures and the first impression will make an impact. Make it a positive one. You may find that her standard just changed.

Good Luck!

 

[High Fidelity]

I mean, it's true though. We all have physical preferences in a partner. If she had said that she only wanted to date rich guys then sure, that's not cool, but despite how she's communicating it, it's better to know now than turn up at a restaurant and have to sit and waste your time because you aren't what she's looking for.

 

[MehGuy]

I have made a thread about this subject and it annoys be that I didn't get sympathy for it.

I sympathized with you. Lol..

 

[ThisIsMe123]

If you're going after a lady and know from the start you don't meet her standard, it takes charm to get that first date.

Words like "shallow" and "limited" are not going to get you there.

Next time, find something in her profile that is interesting to you, complement her on it and show your interest. Keep it pleasant and no matter what happens don't go negative in any way.

Women are strange creatures and the first impression will make an impact. Make it a positive one. You may find that her standard just changed.

Good Luck!

So are you saying that I should have tried to sold her on getting a date with her when she's already made up her mind?

She has already told me she's frustrated enough with online dating as it is and may quit after a month and will just settle with focusing on church and perhaps, maybe, find a guy there (which probably won't happen, churches around here it's all married people with families).

Most of her emails had been from weirdos and pervs...and...well, I told her then why not give me a shot since I'm far from it. Kind of hard to feel sorry for her when she gets messages from losers, but will pass up a guy that's actually decent.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

...anyways, it appears most Christians tend to put belief systems further down the rung when it comes to a list of priorities when looking for a partner. I'm sure personality, physical attraction, and certain interests are in the top 3. While Religious and political affiliations are below that.

I remember some time ago that some women refused to date the current male single populace in their church, simply because they couldn't picture themselves dating them. They just didn't find them attractive.

This leads people having to end up going to the secular world of dating. Meeting through friends' friends social gatherings outside of church, the gym, night school, and so on. Church becomes off-limits to many when it comes to choosing a partner. This allows the superficiality of dating to bleed into a Christian's dating life.

 

[ReesePiece23]

I just don't think that you should date, personally. There's no point doing it if it's making you angry.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Even if you landed a date with her, wouldn't you unwittingly be zoned out due to her already saying that stuff? Why bother trying to score points with somebody that's already ruled things out as dealbreakers? I think any connection would eventually be severed anyway. I would just move on until someone else comes along.

By the way, just out of curiosity..What's keeping you from dipping into the world's pool of women.?

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Even if you landed a date with her, wouldn't you unwittingly be zoned out due to her already saying that stuff? Why bother trying to score points with somebody that's already ruled things out as dealbreakers? I think any connection would eventually be severed anyway. I would just move on until someone else comes along.

By the way, just out of curiosity..What's keeping you from dipping into the world's pool of women.?

Who said I wasn't dipping myself in to the world's pool of women?

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Who said I wasn't dipping myself in to the world's pool of women?

Are you?

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Are you?

Yes I have.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Yes I have.

I have too. Seems like there's shallowness in that too. The majority (if not all) of it is about money, sex, or both.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

Stuff like this is why I don't bother with dating at all. It seems to be far more trouble than it's worth.

It's one thing to have preferences and we all have them. There's a line between preference and shallow, and a lot of people cross it and then like to think they are just being preferential. Both genders do it, and it matters not whether it be in Christian or secular circles. I used to do it all the time. No doubt I've shunned a couple of women over the years who were probably wonderful people, but didn't meet my standards of beauty or fitness so they were overlooked or politely ignored.

All I can do now is just read threads like these, and somehow sympathize with what's being talked about. I'm bothered that I am ABLE to sympathize with these threads, which speaks to how common this type of stuff actually is out there in the dating world.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Stuff like this is why I don't bother with dating at all. It seems to be far more trouble than it's worth.

Yeah, that's what I was saying. I don't voluntarily do stuff I don't like.

Meeting people should be enjoyable.

 

[MehGuy]

Yeah she's a "BBW". Lol.

She sounds delusional and entitled.

Just ignore her.

 

[dzheremi]

There's no real trick to dating women who won't date you whether they're Christian or not, and there are women who don't care about that stuff. Maybe they're in the minority, but I'm 5'5" and nobody I've ever dated (back when I still dated, that is) ever made an issue of it, so I know that type of woman does exist. In fact, a longtime friend of mine (just friend, not girlfriend) once put it as an advantage, as shorter men are "easier to hug". I thought that was cute. And her boyfriend wasn't much taller than her, maybe 5'8" or so to her 5'5".

Keep your head up out there...it's the only way you can look all these giants in the eye if you're a short man.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Yeah she's a "BBW". Lol.

Yeah, kind of an oxymoron.

 

[blackribbon]

So your primary qualification for the women you want to date is "having a beating pulse"? Dating preferences are usually opinion related...and may appear shallow. However, if she knows that she has a preference that you don't meet, why even waste your time. You don't get to pick whom you find attractive. It isn't a conscious choice. You don't have to only date people you are attracted to...but I wouldn't want to date a man who didn't find me attractive....

 

[Sketcher]

I got a chance to chat with a woman on Plenty of Fish. Apparently she had moved away from the big city to where I live, locally. She has only lived here a week, but had been on POF since last year when she was in the city.

I contacted her as we were both seeking Christians and such. She has her in headline, "No short men and must be local only"

Being how she's only 5'5", I had to ask her what is "short" or "tall" to her. Mind you, she has herself listed as a BBW, so she's got some weight on her...and, I'm able to look past that. HER, however, well...she told me she prefers men 5'10" and over as she tends to always wear high heels and wants to be taller than her man.
I said to her, "Isn't that rather shallow of you as a Christian woman?!" and she goes, "There's nothing in the Bible that says that I cannot date whom I"m not attracted to, I prefer what I prefer"

That said, I told her since she's only willing to date locally AND wants to date only Christian...she's really kind of up the creek without a paddle. Her standards are already severely limiting.

She had already told me she's given up on Plenty of Fish, and I am wondering of coming back with, "Well, considering I'm the best you can do from this site, that's available, why not give it a shot? No expectations?" But I dunno.

This has pretty much led me to believe that among the standard Christian single, that people put their beliefs a few rungs below what really matters to them. And to be honest, it's sad that though I can look past her physical flaws and be willing to meet for lunch or whatever, she's not willing to look past mine. Honestly, I've dated better looking women, so maybe It's best that she did reject me?

What I would get a kick out on some ads where women say how that there's more to them than just their looks, as they get a lot of compliments and want to be acknowledged for their personality...but they themselves can look past looks.

THere's just a certain...double standard when it comes to expectations in dating.

IE, a fat person expecting a fit person to find them attractive, and not open to dating their equal in looks.

Not worth your time. But the conversation as described doesn't sound conducive to getting the result you seem to have been after (a date). If you ever find someone eligible and worthwhile, how will your conversation be different?