at loss on what to do... friend struggling with addiction

[carebear1]

My friend has been in/out of lockup at least 7x now. I lost count and now he's on his way to prison not sure yet how long. Its all related to his drug addiction. I used to put in $30-40 a week then lost job plus his family would send him money. His family told me they put in $40 a week as I'm unable to contribute right now. Why would anyone behind bars need that amount of $$$ a week when meals are provided 3x a day???

Every time he was in, he'd say that he's going to get clean but then when he's out, he goes right back to the drugs. I have to wonder if there's somehow he's using behind bars or buying those phone cards to keep in touch with his drug-buddies? My friend won't admit if he's using. Even on the outside, he was smart at hiding his drug use.

Then he got mad at me after telling me that it was okay to tell some his FB friends privately that he was getting help for his drug addiction. The friends I told it to were the ones that lived around this town where it started getting him in trouble with drugs in the first place. I thought it was odd that he didn't want any of them to know but it was okay for his old friends that have nothing to do with his addiction to know that he was getting help to get clean. I wonder maybe, he was trying to live a double life on the outside?

I want to be his support but the lies that he tells me about getting clean and staying that way, its hard to trust him that he actually wants to get clean

 

[RuthD]

He has to want to change to stop using. I would not send him any money since his family is anyways. He has a bad track record so don't be surprised if he does not want to change. I suggest you go to Al-Anon to help yourself deal with him. I know it helped me. God bless you.

 

[Okano]

As far as I know, every drug abuser is also a frequent liar. (I know I was) This is very common among people in alcoholics anonymous. (Alcoholics anonymous also includes drugs) I'm guessing that he really does want to get clean, it's just that he might not be able to manage his emotions, thus he needs the drugs. Also he might just well be powerless against his addictions. If he we're to be serious about quitting he would consider going to a rehabilitation and detox center and then transition to an outpatient program which will teach him life skills and how to manage emotions and stress. If he hasn't been introduced to these ideas then perhaps it would be wise to do so. Find out if this is possible in prison and if it is also possible to appeal his sentence in exchange for a state sanctioned and mandated program of drug and alcohol abuse recovery. Call around and find out if your county has any agencies that do this that will fulfill requirements of a court.

I think you should harden yourself against his manipulation, but always keep your heart with him. If people are always helping him and feeding his wants he will never hit rock bottom and he will never even have the opportunity to decide for himself if he wants to change.

 

[Logan Musil]

Heard great things about the settingcaptivesfree website ministry.
Blessings,
Logan