- Dec 27, 2004
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I took this Asperger's screener earlier today. A score of 32 or higher indicates Asperger's and I scored 41, 46, and then 44.
I have extreme social anxiety. It was worse when I was little. I was too shy to talk on the phone (still am, I won't call strangers). I was too shy to smile for photographs. I have this fear of people being annoyed with me and so I rarely speak up. More than once, I have had my sarcastic tone of voice mistaken for seriousness. Even today, I have a hard time getting words from my brain to my mouth. I have to think REALLY hard before I speak. When I was a toddler, movies like "Willy Wonka" and "Wizard of Oz" would keep me awake for nights on end but movies like "Nightmare on Elm Street" and "Psycho" would have me laughing hysterically.
I am also sensitive to noise. When I bake, I use an old hand-mixer. The electric ones are way too loud. It doesn't hurt my ears or anything, I just get very nervous and nauseous. I don't use vacuum cleaners either. I have those old carpet sweepers. When I was little, I was afraid of public bathrooms because of the loud hand-dryers
I also tend to soak up information (which helps in quiz bowl...
). In quiz bowl, it has been shown that some random obscure image on TV that I saw five or ten years ago has helped me to answer a question correctly. I am very big on patterns which is probably why I'm so good at math.
I had lots of obsessive behaviour as a child (I still have a lot of it). Lets see, socks have to be a certain thickness, pant legs MUST be wide and long, skirts long and roomy, (when I was little) shoes have to be tied TIGHT, shoe strings have to be the same length on both sides, strings on pants, jackets, shirts, etc. have to be the same length on both sides. I couldn't wear 3/4 length sleeves until I was about 14 because the concept just freaked me out. In my sophomore year of high school I wore the same thing on Monday, the same thing on Tuesday, the same thing on wednesday, etc., etc (mainly because I only had enough clothes to fill five days). Now that I have enough clothes, I wear the same jacket and shoes everyday. The only I change is my t-shirt, pants, and undies. I also had this thing about squares. I don't like round shapes. My artwork as a child consisted of stick figures and using the colors of the rainbow to color in a sheet of notebook paper. In middle school, I became hooked on a book series called Animorphs. It became a dangerous obsession because it really became idolatry. Now it's Harry Potter but not to the extent of Animorphs.
When I was little, I couldn't understand the concept of pretend play. I collected barbies but that was really just to collect them. The only thing I liked to do with my dolls and barbies was to dress them up. My mom tried to get me to name my dolls and stuffed animals and I looked at her like she was crazy because, of course, dolls and stuffed animals aren't alive. You could throw them against the wall and they wouldn't care. (I didn't name my pets either because I didn't think they would care... that's different now. The cat in my avatar is Sunshine or "my precious".) This is where I got into trouble because faith in God equaled fantasy which I really didn't understand. Basically, I didn't see God, so He didn't exist. The theory of evolution seemed much more plausible to me. It seemed to be rooted in the real world. But I know different now.
But all this begs the question: What do I do with this information?
Aside from a trained psychologist's perspective, what do you guys think? Do I have it or Did I just need to vent?
It all makes sense though. When I was in preschool, the teachers told my parents that I was probably autistic. I was in remedial reading and math even though later I excelled at these things. (BTW, my IQ is 133.)
I have extreme social anxiety. It was worse when I was little. I was too shy to talk on the phone (still am, I won't call strangers). I was too shy to smile for photographs. I have this fear of people being annoyed with me and so I rarely speak up. More than once, I have had my sarcastic tone of voice mistaken for seriousness. Even today, I have a hard time getting words from my brain to my mouth. I have to think REALLY hard before I speak. When I was a toddler, movies like "Willy Wonka" and "Wizard of Oz" would keep me awake for nights on end but movies like "Nightmare on Elm Street" and "Psycho" would have me laughing hysterically.
I am also sensitive to noise. When I bake, I use an old hand-mixer. The electric ones are way too loud. It doesn't hurt my ears or anything, I just get very nervous and nauseous. I don't use vacuum cleaners either. I have those old carpet sweepers. When I was little, I was afraid of public bathrooms because of the loud hand-dryers
I also tend to soak up information (which helps in quiz bowl...
). In quiz bowl, it has been shown that some random obscure image on TV that I saw five or ten years ago has helped me to answer a question correctly. I am very big on patterns which is probably why I'm so good at math. I had lots of obsessive behaviour as a child (I still have a lot of it). Lets see, socks have to be a certain thickness, pant legs MUST be wide and long, skirts long and roomy, (when I was little) shoes have to be tied TIGHT, shoe strings have to be the same length on both sides, strings on pants, jackets, shirts, etc. have to be the same length on both sides. I couldn't wear 3/4 length sleeves until I was about 14 because the concept just freaked me out. In my sophomore year of high school I wore the same thing on Monday, the same thing on Tuesday, the same thing on wednesday, etc., etc (mainly because I only had enough clothes to fill five days). Now that I have enough clothes, I wear the same jacket and shoes everyday. The only I change is my t-shirt, pants, and undies. I also had this thing about squares. I don't like round shapes. My artwork as a child consisted of stick figures and using the colors of the rainbow to color in a sheet of notebook paper. In middle school, I became hooked on a book series called Animorphs. It became a dangerous obsession because it really became idolatry. Now it's Harry Potter but not to the extent of Animorphs.
When I was little, I couldn't understand the concept of pretend play. I collected barbies but that was really just to collect them. The only thing I liked to do with my dolls and barbies was to dress them up. My mom tried to get me to name my dolls and stuffed animals and I looked at her like she was crazy because, of course, dolls and stuffed animals aren't alive. You could throw them against the wall and they wouldn't care. (I didn't name my pets either because I didn't think they would care... that's different now. The cat in my avatar is Sunshine or "my precious".
) This is where I got into trouble because faith in God equaled fantasy which I really didn't understand. Basically, I didn't see God, so He didn't exist. The theory of evolution seemed much more plausible to me. It seemed to be rooted in the real world. But I know different now.But all this begs the question: What do I do with this information?
Aside from a trained psychologist's perspective, what do you guys think? Do I have it or Did I just need to vent?
