TheChristianAspie
The Christian Aspie
- May 10, 2011
- 20
- 1
- 58
- Faith
- Pentecostal
- Marital Status
- Married
I have the same problem.
The area that I have identified is that I can't (or don't) foster the relationship beyond the acquaintance stage.
Relationships are a two way street, meaning that both people have to give and reach out to each other.
People reach out to me, talk to me, but I don't reach back.
But I really want a friend, I just don't know how to do it.
I am phone phobic and everyone, EVERYONE wants to talk on the phone!
I also get overwhelmed if I am trying to be friends with more than one person at a time.
What I do is get the phone number and an email address. If they are on FaceBook, I friend them. Then I send them a message once in a while. For instance, on Monday I might send a FB message to someone at my church telling them it was great to see them. They usually respond that it was good to see me too.
After a few times of communication like that, I will ask a question about them (something not too personal - if you know an NT who can help you, that is great). I will share a video or song or website with them and it often starts a conversation.
However, it is very, very hard for me to be consistent with this. NTs are not like us. They need regular and frequent communication (most of them anyway) in order to build a relationship.
What I did to combat that is to set a schedule for myself. I have certain people whom I contact on certain days, even if it is just to say hello. There are a couple whom I am comfortable conversing with on the phone, so I will call (but not often).
This is working! I have two friends in just a few months!
The area that I have identified is that I can't (or don't) foster the relationship beyond the acquaintance stage.
Relationships are a two way street, meaning that both people have to give and reach out to each other.
People reach out to me, talk to me, but I don't reach back.
But I really want a friend, I just don't know how to do it.
I am phone phobic and everyone, EVERYONE wants to talk on the phone!
I also get overwhelmed if I am trying to be friends with more than one person at a time.
What I do is get the phone number and an email address. If they are on FaceBook, I friend them. Then I send them a message once in a while. For instance, on Monday I might send a FB message to someone at my church telling them it was great to see them. They usually respond that it was good to see me too.
After a few times of communication like that, I will ask a question about them (something not too personal - if you know an NT who can help you, that is great). I will share a video or song or website with them and it often starts a conversation.
However, it is very, very hard for me to be consistent with this. NTs are not like us. They need regular and frequent communication (most of them anyway) in order to build a relationship.
What I did to combat that is to set a schedule for myself. I have certain people whom I contact on certain days, even if it is just to say hello. There are a couple whom I am comfortable conversing with on the phone, so I will call (but not often).
This is working! I have two friends in just a few months!
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