Aspergers & Bipolar

[Crystal~Rose]

I've never posted here before hopefully this is ok.
My son is 14 and 2 years ago was DX: Bipolar He sees a therapist who informed me today that next week he will be working with another professional because my son meets all the criteria for a AS DX:
My question is do you or anyone you know have both of these, and if so can you share some experience possibly hope for my heart is breaking that my son has so much it seems up against him. Thank you

 

[uniquetadpole]

sometimes AS can be misdiagnosed as bi-polar... so I would suggest to just wait and see... (I know there is that dang WAIT word again ugh). Bi Polar is something I wondered about in me lately... but the more I learn the more I find out that it is all just AS... and to be honest...it doesn't matter which label it is... finding the right meds and other type of help is what matters... and that requires alot of research and trial and error... eventually the help will be there. (And this is comeing from someone who is having a difficult time with that piece of faith right now... so...)

Hang in there... 14 is a tough age to top it off... but God will get him through... and everything he goes through is a lesson in life... He is no different than anyone else... he has his issues... and you have yours... and me mine... they are all different issues...but we all have issues. We all have our mountains to clamber up.

BTW... that is what this threaad is for... asking questions!!! Thanks for asking. It most definitely ok.

 

[Crystal~Rose]

sometimes AS can be misdiagnosed as bi-polar... so I would suggest to just wait and see... (I know there is that dang WAIT word again ugh). Bi Polar is something I wondered about in me lately... but the more I learn the more I find out that it is all just AS... and to be honest...it doesn't matter which label it is... finding the right meds and other type of help is what matters... and that requires alot of research and trial and error... eventually the help will be there. (And this is comeing from someone who is having a difficult time with that piece of faith right now... so...)

Hang in there... 14 is a tough age to top it off... but God will get him through... and everything he goes through is a lesson in life... He is no different than anyone else... he has his issues... and you have yours... and me mine... they are all different issues...but we all have issues. We all have our mountains to clamber up.

BTW... that is what this threaad is for... asking questions!!! Thanks for asking. It most definitely ok.

We see his therapist tomorrow so I'll have more info at that time. My son has responed some to the meds he was prescribed for Bipolar but that seems to change every couple of months. He is also ADHD and we have tried him off those meds and it was a disaster. The antipsycotic meds for BP are the only thing that has controlled his rage episodes, and sleep issues. I did some reading on AS and I wonder why no one ever put there finger ion it until now, when the criteria for it describes my son perfectly. I was DX: Bipolar a few months back its hard trying to take care of myself and a very needy child but I am managing alright. I appreciate your response and look forward to gathering as much insight as I can get. I have questions like...Will he always require my guidance? My ten year old is more independent, and responsible. I dont mean that to sound rude but it is a fact. My son turns 15 in a couple of months, his therapist and I are working towards him being more independent however if I do not stay on top of him he'd never make it to school,take his meds, never shower or change clothes, he has to be reminded to eat for he gets so wrapped up in things hours pass and he doesnt even realize, I printed a daily check sheet for personal hygene, chores, etc. I leave it in the same place yet he still has to be reminded, and redirected when something else grabs his attention. He is almost 3 years behind in school though he tests well above average. He was placed in a theraputic day school last year for the severly emotionally disturbed and still is failing. Sometimes I wonder what does his future look like?

 

[uniquetadpole]

Well... He sounds lots like me... I am "independant" and struggling tremendously. I don't remember to eat...not only because I get engrossed in things... but also because my body doesn't tell me when I am hungry at the right times... I have ADD issues as well... and the doctors aren't sure if the symptoms are a part of the AS or in addition... but the treatment is the same so I don't care too much about it. I also deal with severe dissociative issues from trauma. SO I may not be Bi-polar but I can relate to the issues of multiple things to deal with all at once and sorting out which is what and what can be changed and what can't...still haven't determined that.

With Autism there are usually sensory issues... which is why hunger doesn't always register with my body...even on a schedule. It is good that you post things for him... be patient and do your best not to compare him to your younger son...at least not out loud... it hurts. If he does has AS he is developmentally behind...simply because he learns differently... he will need to be taught things more literally...and things you would assume he would figure out... non-verbal things...such as social customs or social skills.

He may not "see" your signs or rather they may not register... I will see my notes for a little while... but I won't always notice someone elses notes... even my notes become part of the background after a little while...which is typical with certain sensory issues. This may not be his prob... but keep in mind that it could be. It could also be a bit of a subconscious rebellion because he doesn't understand on a deep enough level why he needs to do these things...that is where I am right now... I fight having to do the mundane and the boring...and the things that simple don't make any sense. (Like taking my hat off in buildings when I use it to block the overhead lights so I have less sensory issues and can concentrate better and dissociate less).

I want to change my behaviors... well... I keep telling myself I do...but something inside always seems to resist. He needs to find a reason for the change within him...and then it will still be a struggle. Right now he may be doing it to get you off his back so he can get back to what he was doing quicker. I know that is part of my issue growing up... I did not get diagnosed until 34... I wish someone had helped me before I went to college and was expected to magically figure it out by myself. My dad still thinks he can wave his hand and I will just get it... because I am so smart. Intelligence has nothing to do with it if you are missing the key learning elements. Once I figured out how to learn... the challenge has been to convince other to bend the rules so I can get it. Another issue I wish I didn't have to get into.

Anyway... the point in me sharing this with you... is if he does have the AS... you are very lucky that you find out now... there are things that can be done to help him mature... there are different techniques that can be experimented with that have proven to work (albeit mostly with younger kids)... but with some teenage adaption you might find they will work for your son...

Managing feelings is a major issue on the spectrum...
I stuggle with it all the time... only mine was never outward...my anger issue all are inward and repressed...and so my outbursts are further apart but just as explosive and usually directed at me. I found some books that I have been asking my therapists to help me with. I will give you the links here... I suspect that even without the AS diagnosis...at least the feelings book couldn't hurt experimenting with.

http://www.amazon.com/Incredible-As..._bbs_sr_1/002-7080560-1372050?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Cards-I...2013/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b/002-7080560-1372050

I bought both of these books... and I desperately want to adapt them for me but have to find an NT that gets it to help me with it that is willing to be creative with me. I need the extra guidance...I already have the motivation and the determination...but lately the discouragement has been a bit overwhelming. You will have your ups and downs and with the Bi-polar...that will influence those ups and downs greatly...but it is doable. Hang in there... I am so glad you are headed in the direction you are for your son... my heart goes out to all these parents of us Aspies...I want them to understand so that others didn't have it as rough as not being understood and overlooked for 34 years.

Tad

 

[Crystal~Rose]

Thank you sooo much for allowing me to see this from a different angle, from inside where I can't fully understand. thank you for pointing out not to compare him aloud to his younger brother (which I have done) but never in an attempt to harm rather an attempt to produce results which never happened. I'll check those links here in a bit, I appreciate that as well. My sons therapist gave me some info today about a local support group/ organization to educate and assist children and families of a child with AS he suggested also that I pull him out of school and enroll him in virtual school (He loves that idea) because he isnt learning but is capable and this is one avenue we havent tried yet. Informally diagnosed, his therapist has no doubt that this is indeed what we are dealing with after our meeting today and all the history he collected. We are to see the psyc sometime next week to complete all the testing.
He does also believe that the Bipolar DX: is correct. As has 3 other doctors, this will just add one more to the list. Its disheartening on one hand and relief on the other. Atleast I can educate myself on how to help him be the best he can be, because everything I have tried up until this point has failed. He has stumped doctors, teachers, therapists, you name it. Maybe this will open the door for him to finally get what he needs to be successful. Praying this to be true! He is a brilliant child full of life and love and it pains me to see how much he has suffered simply because no one knew how best to help him. I am so sadded to hear it took sooo long Tad for the pieces to fit, and for everything to make sense.. I see you..you aren't overlooked anymore. I am so glad to have met you and be blessed by the heart behind your posts. Be blessed, Crystal

 

[uniquetadpole]

I am not familiar with this virtual school you are talking about... but if it is like homeschooling... I suggest really take a wholistic look at it... because the areas he is in deficit in is socialization...which means he needs more practice than most but with literal, and direct verbal lessons to accomany them. I don't have that luxury now that I am out of school...to find someone to tell me I am not suuposed to do something in a particular placce (not to mention I am old enough not to want to change in some areas because everything is so overwhelming)... it has to be a balance between education of the intellect and education of connection... this doesn't mean I am saying rule out "private" type teaching... rather it is more that I am pointing out the need to make up for the socialization in some format...whether it be camp (which is what I highly recommend...and where I did learn a bit of what socialization skills that I got... by being a camp counselor...cause it sure as heck wasn't in school...I found schoolwork more friendly than the other kids so I never bothered with the socialization and buried myself in my lessons... but at camp...it is all about socialization...and there are specialized camps with focuses on special interests... like space camp for the astronaut in us...or ecology type camps... depending on what your son is interested in... and there are some AWESOME camps for kids with AS and ADD. Which I have thrown the idea around in the back of my mind as a possibility of working at perhaps someday... if you are interested in those types of camps...I would be happy to gather a list together for you...he is also old enough...without knowing his personality really... he might benefit from simply working with kids as a jr counselor... at a local day camp... he would probably end up working with kids closer to his emotional development...yet take on the responsibilities that are necessary... that is what happened with me and why I was the best camp counselor there was... the only difference between me and the 5-6 yr olds (besides height which was close anyway) was that I was responsible for their safety. I was very methodical in their care so much so when we were down a counselor the last two weeks of day camp for the summer at the age of 15 the director gave me the short stick...meaning I worked with a group of 30 5&6 yr olds by myself instead of with a co-counselor...I was totally shocked... I was the youngest counselor ever by 3 years. I finally asked her why and she said she wouldn't trust anyone else. It took me a long time to really understand the impact of it and the real reasons why (in fact it was just last week when it hit me)... but it was that my interest was the kids...that was what I was there for... they were my first connection to the outside world and I wasn't going to let it go...which meant their safety came first and my interaction with them came second...and socializing with my co-counselors were not of any major interest to me... I could not get why they prefered to chat with each other instead of interact with the kids. Now I do... I was Aspie and they weren't... actually I still don't really get it...but I know why I don't know.

Anyway... all I am so long windedly working at saying here is make sure he get the socialization practice... and camp is not as threatening sometimes. If you find the right camp.

 

[Crystal~Rose]

Thats a great idea we dont live far from the space center he has always wanted to go, I'll have to look into that. My fear about homeschool is the same that is why I have always been hesitant to do it as so many professionals have suggested, not only that the question of Am I able? Being Bipolar myself and having days when its all I can do just to keep up with my own responsibilities...how will I manage his education?
I must admit so far the school system has failed him, but whos to say I wont as well.

 

[uniquetadpole]

don't be so hard on yourself...it is the only self you will ever have (yeah yeah yeah...I hear me yum yum...eating my own words as I speak them)... anyway... might i suggest not only looking into camps...but also special schools for kids with AS/ADD. THey have residential ones...that are good... perhaps you don't want him to go away... I wouldn't blame you for that... but I suggest staying open to the possibility. It may be the answer you both need to give both of you a break form each other for a time period... to deal with yourselves. And then just make the time you are together quality time. But I would also suggest...that it be as much his choice as yours... parhaps in the next couple of days I will do some research for ya... I have some linked somewhere already... I was thinking about them for me... as a job...where i need the structure. Maybe that is what I still need... I don't know... I will see about doing it this week anyway...perhaps for both of us...I will see how tomorrow goes.

Tad

 

[uniquetadpole]

Here are some camps and schools I have found so far...

http://www.christianforums.com/t4614679-autism-aspergers-camps-and-schools.html

 

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

My son was diagnosed first by a psychiatrist as BiPolar but when I got a psychologist a year later to do a full battery of testing on him he added the DX of "Asperger's Personality Type" which is about the same without going out on a limb and changing the DX.... He does not respond to bipolar meds as well as he responds to interventions for being in a special school for AS kids
He does have the traits of both.

SO when I say "I know what you are going through" I really know from first hand day to day experience what you are going through. I am a work from home dad so I am his primary (and sometimes only) caregiver
I have a younger kid who is healthy.

The challenges from a Bipolar/AS kid are immense. he is in a special school. His IQ is OFF the scale, he works math and reading about 3 grade levels above his age. He undertands more about his clusters of interest than most adults.
Then he watches TV shows designed for preschoolers soemtimes, because his social level is much lower......
His school encourages this in order to keep him acedemically challenged. his teacher trained in an autistism school, so she is an expert.
That has been a big part, getting him into the right school.

we still use meds, cannot get by now without them. he demands a lot of energy and time, but I love him and I will see him get through this.

Best wishes with your son and PM me ANYTIME you want

 

[BigToe]

*snuggles* I hope things with your son are going well.