Asexuality

[karykay]

Not so long ago I came across this new, well new to me, asexuality.
What I like to know is, have you heard of it? if so how do you feel about this sexual orientation? Where does it stand inline with scripture?

 

[blackribbon]

God created us to be sexual beings but I think feeling asexual can be a blessing if you are not in a relationship or are not seeking one. It can be a major problem if you are married because the Bible makes it clear that your body belongs to your spouse in a married covenant.

It could also signify a medical condition (hormonal)...but again, unless it is causing a problem, I wouldn't worry about it.

I think many women and men often become asexual when they are hurt within relationships...it comes from turning off the emotions until you just don't feel anymore.

However, assuming no significant other whom is bothered by this status, I personally think that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks...it only matters if you are happy with this state. As a middle age widow, I probably could be a lot happier if I really could become asexual.

That is my opinion. That and two pennies is worth about two cents.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

I have heard of people who have had problems in their physical and/or psychological development such that they have little or no sexual interest. I am not going to judge anyone in that situation. I am against promoting asexuality as some sort of "spiritual" ideal. I have noticed that the only kinds of sexual orientations that seem to be promoted in contemporary, politically correct culture seem to be those orientations that cannot produce children. On the other extreme, I have heard some very legalistic, fundamentalist Christians promote their idea of "purity" until it almost becomes a sort of asexuality. Just because society has adopted pansexual hedonism does not mean that Christians should over react and adopt a Gnostic or docetic view that the body is evil and ideally we should be passionless spirits.

Someone might be called to be celebate and that is fine. Someone might be asexual and God might turn their life in some direction or other that is different from most people, and that is fine. But I have heard some people promote rare exceptions as the ideal for everyone, and if your life does not fit the pattern they say it should then you are less spiritual, and I am against that.

 

[Purge187]

I've steadily grown asexual over the years for various reasons--family history of depression, low self-esteem, and the general sex-negativity that seems to go hand-in-hand with religion. I often felt guilty and angry when I felt any kind of sexual urge, and since adolescence is a time when we guys feel that frequently, there was a ton of anger and guilt. It wasn't until fairly recently that I saw a minister on TV teach that the purpose of Matthew 5:27, 28 wasn't to make us feel guilty or repress our sexuality, but to emphasize God's grace and to make us realize how much we need Him in our daily lives. It was like, "Gee, NOW someone tells me."[bless and do not curse]

Concerning the Bible's stance on it, Paul seems to suggest that asexuality and celibacy (two seperate things) are good things for those who may be candidates for them in Corinthians 7.

 

[dayhiker]

This is a good topic and I'm glad to see it being talking about more.

I took the churches teaching on sex to be quite negative when I was growing up. So I never talked about sex and some interpreted that as be being mature and sin free. Well, I had a strong sex drive and was very interested in sex. I read everything I found on the topic and masturbated often. this brought me quite a bit of guilt. But guilt wasn't as strong for me as I had a libertarian streak as well. If something didn't hurt someone then how could it be very wrong?
Well, when I was going thru my divorce and sexual sin was a part of that, my pastors had me reading and practicing a lot of asexual readings. Now I'd always tested what was preached to see if it was Biblical. Since the Bible doesn't say masturbation is a sin anywhere that was my view but I never told anyone because that would make my views public and I wanted to come across as asexual, when I wasn't.
It was at this time that I can to see that church was indeed asking me to be asexual. But God as asking me to share where my heart was. To be authentic. It was then also that I thought about God creating me a sexual being, all these sexual desires weren't from Satan but from the body that God created me with. So I told a brother that was just accepting the asexual teaching of our church that I didn't see masturbation as a sin. Well, off he went liberally running to tell the pastors this. Special meeting, and of course they couldn't turn to the Bible say here is where the Bible says masturbation is a sin.

I then spent 3 yrs studying every verse in the Bible that had anything to do with sex and marriage, the history of what the church said about sex as well as the sexual attitudes of all the countries around Israel. I was totally shocked by where the churches teaching on sex and marriage came from. What the church says is sin and what the Bible actually says is sin.

So once again I found the Word of God set me free but the traditions of men want to bind us. Just makes a guy love God even more. Freedom is such a precious thing. As the NH license plates say: live free or die. I chose to live free in Jesus. Result has been I've felt more love this past year than in the rest of my life. God created us sexual beings and that sex can be used to worship God. I think God for sex, it is one of the greatest things God has created in my mind. well, love sex and intimacy all go together.

 

[karykay]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Here is something about asexual
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]'Asexuality in humans means that a person does not experience sexual attraction or desire. Asexual is as normal as heterosexual.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]There is a wide range or levels of asexuality, from those that feel some sexual desire to those you despise it altogether. They have absolutely feeling of desire at all for sex. Some asexual people prefer to be on their own while others like to have close friends. Even very close bonds in a romantic relationship, dateing sexual as well as asexual people. Asexual even get married either to sexual's or asexual's.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Most Asexual people do experience attraction, except it will not lead to sex. Most desire closeness and affection from another person. They enjoy been hugged and kissed and snuggling up to each other. Asexual relationships can be deep, going beyond the physical to the mental/ spiritual side. Many asexual’s who have tried sex are disappointed and still others find sex absolutely repulsive.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]The sexual world can be intimidating for an asexual person. Everywhere you look and read sexuality is pushed down your throat. The world is sex mad. Sexual’s probably do not see the world as asexual’s do, they are so much more aware of it. The sexual world probably does not even know that the asexual person exist. Because of the over sexed culture the asexual feels more isolated. Asexuality is a rare and relatively unknown sexual orientation.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Young asexual people feel left out, when they see friends and others involved in relationships including sex. They can become self-loathing and also experiences withdraw symptoms. Some even try sex just to fit in. Finding they have no sex drive which can leave them traumatized.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]So culture plays a large part in an asexual person’s life, now what about religion and beliefs. Most religions believe one must get married, have sex and produce children. There argument is that as humans we where made this way. If you do not conform to this then you must be ill mentally or physically, maybe both. Saying these things causes the asexual to loath him/herself. Feeling and thinking that there must be something seriously wrong. So they try to blend in pretending to be sexual, laughing at sexual jokes even when they do not understand them. They even partake in sexual discussions. They marry and end up divorcing because the sexual relationship is not there. Causing the couple more pain and anguish. The asexual is scared to speak out for they feel they will not get support from families or friends.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Fortunately not all asexual; experience such drama. Some do have loving supportive families and friends. [/FONT]

[FONT="Arial","sans-serif"]Asexual is not celibacy there is no chose. You ether are or you are not. It is not a disorder it is an orientation like heterosexual. You will find asexual in ever age group, even country and religion. They are to be found in every race and culture. Asexuals are not late bloomer; one is born this way, so there is no chance of changing during one’s life. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]There is an idea that only women are asexual, this is not true. Men can be asexual as well, they just hide it. It is like a stigma for a man not to be sexual or desire sex. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Sexual people think asexuality does not exist it is something made up to hid a deeper problem. You must visit a doctor or maybe you where abused. It is so hard for a sexual orientated world to except that there are some people that do not like sex.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]So briefly an asexual has no desire for sex.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]They are not ill mentally or physically.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]They do NOT need to see a doctor.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Asexual[/FONT][FONT=Arial, sans-serif] do like to have a close relationship.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Some asexual will even get married.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]They do like to date, some date both asexual and sexual people.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]They do like to be hugged.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Asexual do like to be romantic.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]There are asexual's that do not like romance, being touched or having a close relationship.'[/FONT]

 

[blackribbon]

First of all, the same sources that say it is "normal" will say that homosexuality is "normal" too. I will grant that both are "normal" in a political correct world.

It is not considered a mental disease, but neither is homosexuality. And people who are homosexual say they are also born that way. However, it can be caused by hormonal imbalances since we get our normal sexual drive from the hormones our body makes. It can be bad if you are having signs or symptoms of physiological problems related to hormonal deficiency or excess. Certain medications can also cause asexuality because they affect how neurotransmitters and hormones work in the body. Many psychological drugs literally turn off the sexual drive in those that need to take them. Antidepressants are the worst at doing this but other meds do it too.

The "A" in asexual means "NO" or "ZERO" sexual feelings so no, there can't be levels of asexuality like a person can have different degrees of hypertension. And the feelings that you get when cuddling someone of the opposite sex would have to be the same as the feeling you get when cuddling your mother if you really want to call them "asexual". Otherwise, I would suggest that the person is sexual (because those feelings are "sexual") with an aversion to the actual sex act and not really "asexual".

And as a Christian, if you marry a sexual partner....well, you get to have sex because the Bible is clear about this.

1 Cor 7: 3-5
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

There is no clause in there about getting to skip out on the sex part "because you don't like sex or are not feeling sexual". It is pretty straight forward.

However, if you are a Christian single, then you are not supposed to be ACTING on your sexual urges, so feeling or being asexual is acceptable and may be a good thing.

 

[Purge187]

There are different forms of asexuality, KK. Visit the Wikipedia page on asexuality and check out the different definitions under the Romantic relationships and identity section.

Black, you're right that any sort of sexual identity is accepted in our world now. But homosexuality is expressly comdemned in the Word, whereas asexuality seems to be a viable option according to Paul in 1 Corinthians 7.

 

[blackribbon]

Wikipedia information is only as good as the person who submitted it. It is also going to reflect the viewpoint of the author.

The prefix "a" means "no" or "none"...so if is something is Asexual it is by definition NOT sexual and not various levels of sexuality.

 

[iambren]

asexuality.org is the best site I found that explains it. Jesus in a short discourse described the different states people can have that is asexual. No sin in it. The sin is when a true asexual listens to peers,the conventions of man to be married,or simply selfishly wants a secure "buddy" then gets married. That leaves the other spouse licking wounds of sexual rejection,lack of intimacy(touch etc) for life. A VERY selfish sinful thing to do to a fellow human being!

 

[Purge187]

asexuality.org is the best site I found that explains it. Jesus in a short discourse described the different states people can have that is asexual. No sin in it. The sin is when a true asexual listens to peers,the conventions of man to be married,or simply selfishly wants a secure "buddy" then gets married. That leaves the other spouse licking wounds of sexual rejection,lack of intimacy(touch etc) for life. A VERY selfish sinful thing to do to a fellow human being!

Well-said. I've seen stories about the sexual incompatibility that came about after a spouse turned out to be asexual or close to it.

A non-graphic discussion between a potential couple about their "levels" of desire could save people a lot of pain.