Asexuality

[rhyddid_rose]

To Life Immortal

I would like to know if anyone is asexual here. I am asexual and sometimes I feel like I will die alone and unloved. I think I have accepted that, but sometimes I feel afriad that I will get old and die alone. How do others deal with this problem?

Peace and Long Life


Babochka

 

[odysseius]

According to a study conducted by Anthony Bogaert, a psychologist and human sexuality expert at Brock University in St. Catherines, Ontario, about 1 in 100 adults is asexual It was published in the latest issue of The Journal of Sex Research and is the focus of a report in this Saturday's issue of New Scientist. I am getting this from a CNN story but don't have enough posts yet to link to it.


That means over 1 million asexuals in the U.S. alone and even more worldwide. Hence I don't think you must necessarily remain lonely; a lot is up to you and how far you are willing to go to seek what you want. There are asexual visibility groups out there and I suggest that you try to find one; though the possibility of this will depend on where you live/are able to live. Also remember that God is always with you no matter what, though it is good to have a person to share God's love with.

I am not asexual but might as well be. My prospective sexual experiences are slim to none, and my sexual arousal criteria are quite abnormal; hence I struggle with the same fear you do.

 

[janny108]

I would not necessarily equate being asexual with not being loved or accepted. Love is so much bigger than whether or not you currently have sexual experiences. It's where you get your self worth. The devil wants people to think they will die without sex, but the truth is, that is a lie. Many monks and other single people have remained celibate and have lived worthy lives.
Jan

 

[Saucy]

sorry for my limited knowledge, but what does it mean to be asexual?

 

[KTskater]

sorry for my limited knowledge, but what does it mean to be asexual?

It means to have no sexual attraction to either gender.

 

[thenewageriseth]

I'm glad I ran across this post...You see I may be asexual myself. I didn't even know a person could be asexual...Didn't know you could use that term, until I ran across this post. Yeah, I currently have depression that comes from dwelling on past events, and I don't think I could find true love and am apprehensive of getting another crush, because I am no good whatsoever at the stupid dating game, and I'd rather wait for someone to come to me, although I am not(at the moment)attracted to boys or men. Like I think about a guy, there is nothing but coldness... I seem to be engulfed in the Fantasy World and I have a certain disposition that I am like Peter Pan. I have tried to act more mature, but I find myself staying inside my head, if you know what I mean, to escape everyday worries...I really don't need that kind of drama. ..

 

[Ssarl]

I can relate to some extent. My puberty was a very damaged time, and for the most part I believed that nobody was ever going to want me. So I never really believed I was going to have a relationship and didn't pursue one. Never really thought about it at all.
I do have an inclination towards other men, but it's so mild... it's pretty much 'that's cute' and that's as far as it gets. I've no interest in actually getting involved with one, ever.

My biology is perfectly normal, it's all just in my mind... I just don't think I'll ever have a partner or that I should really want one. I torture myself somewhat with this, thinking of how it's not normal and how I'm never going to enjoy what others have in a loving relationship... God has taken me so far that I can even appreciate love on the level of friendship... I'm not ready for anything beyond that yet.

 

[rhyddid_rose]

To Life Immortal

Thank you for the replies. I feel a little better and I wil take your advice to heart. It is just sometimes I dont look forward to getting older and not be able to manage for myself. I see how other people have relationships and sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a friend. I shall google the asexual groups and try I learn how to cope.

Our culture puts far too much emphasis on sexuality and It makes you think that is you aren't active or if you are celibate or asexual, you are some kind of mutant. It is good to know that other people understand what I am saying.

Peace and Long LIfe


Babochka

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

I don't worry about growing old alone and dying alone. The world is a big place, and if one has the resources he/she can build a solid network of material and emotional support without having a sex life.

The problem is that some people don't have the resources. If they don't have the mental health they need, they end up homeless and living on the streets or in shelters. If they don't have the financial resources that they need, they live stressful lives and die at a relatively young age. Or somebody could be healthy and wealthy but not have the moral and spiritual understanding to form meaningful relationships, and consequently die on his bed in his remote mansion where his only company is his butler.

Sexual activity isn't the means to meaninful relationships and material and emotional well-being. It is simply a route that a majority of people utilize.

It's a route that I have never wanted to utilize. But I don't know how to describe myself. I don't know what identity or category applies to me. It sounds like asexual means "no attraction". Well, I am attracted to women. But I am not impressed with that attraction. I don't see it as anything to act on.

What I have feared for a long time is that the avenues that I do envision for forming meaningful relationships and mutual support will always be beyond my available resources and that I will therefore fall prey to this "dog eat dog" world. I don't fear growing old and dying lonely. I fear rotting to death on the streets or being falsely convicted of a crime and then spending many years of physical and emotional torture in prison around true felons.

Society--and the visible Christian church institution (as opposed to the invisible Body of Christ)--don't give people many alternatives. I don't want to be a monk or a foreign missionary or any other role traditionally occupied by "celibate" people.

I am either going to have to learn to try some things that I'm not inclined to do, or I am going to have to be very creative. If the only bad fate threatening a person is growing old alone and dying alone, then I like his/her chances at a life of fulfilling relationships better than my chances.

 

[platzapS]

I would like to know if anyone is asexual here. I am asexual and sometimes I feel like I will die alone and unloved. I think I have accepted that, but sometimes I feel afriad that I will get old and die alone. How do others deal with this problem?

Interesting. I didn't know that there were many asexual people.

You seem pretty cool. I love you just because you're a member of humanity. I think it's safe to say that all on CF do. I can't really give any advice, because I have no idea what it's like to be you. But I will pray for you today and I hope that God can help you make your life enjoyable and meaningful.

 

[mortsmune]

I am a lifelong celibate of 52 years. I am so by my own choice. I have not taken a vow and I am not a Catholic priest. I have made my choice due to personal conviction regarding what I have always believed God wanted for my life. I won't say it has been an easy road, but in many ways it has been incredibly fulfilling and blessed.

The answer to the loneliness issue can be summed up in this: If you seek more to love than to be loved, you will not be lonely. Seek to give rather than to receive. Pour yourself out in service to God, seeking to show love, kindness, and mercy to others, and you will not be lonely. Sex is not love, and the love of God is supreme above all human love.