As the Deer pants for streams of water....

[Shulamite]

I think I have experienced this...but why does it bring pain???????

Jesus himself suffered so much pain, emotional and physical.

Maybe we are meant to suffer emotional pain too....that is what I think. maybe I am wrong but that is what my experience says. It is the fellowship of sharing in His Sufferings.

Wow, I never thought I'd hear another soul say this too. I have felt the pain and agony of being called to know Yeshua as my Husband and Bridegroom and still remain in an earthly marriage. It's the most painful cross and thorn I've ever felt. I'm glad you brought it up.
Yes, it is fellowshipping with Him in His sorrows and pain. I didn't feel this pain over this until HE began to allow it to happen.
Let's just say that if I had known BEFORE my earthly marriage that I would be called by Yeshua this way, there's no way I would have gotten married. My heart is not fashioned to be in 2 marriages. My earthly husband is saved and knows I have an intimacy with Yeshua, but I do not get into great detail about it because it could cause him to stumble or be very confused.
The pain I feel over this has only been understood by one other person in my life. Yeshua brought a christian friend to me that lives in Georgia and she and I have discussed this pain with amazement that we each understand!!!!
One time the Lord brought a woman up to me and she spoke to me so spontaneously and without warning and said, "It must be painful for you to be so in love with Jesus and know Him as your Husband and yet have to be in an earthly marriage." I NEARLY FELL OVER WHEN SHE SAID THAT! I just cried and said, 'yes! How did you KNOW that?"
She told me that it was the Spirit Who revealed it to her and there's no other way she could have known.
Let's just say that Jesus has given His heart to me so intimately that He has allowed me to feel this pain with Him. It's His pain and now is mine. Marriage is not sin and it's honorable in all, yet I feel that for He and I it's no longer natural and He has given me that "word to forsake earthly marriage for His sake" andl, as Jesus Himself said, not many can receive this word, but to him to whom it's given."

So, that's me.
I am so in love with my Yeshua, no one but Him is for me and He established that in my heart. I did not wake up one morning and decide to feel this way, see this way or live this way, He came to me with this and the closer I have come to Him over the years and the more intimate and tender it's become between He and I, the more painful it is to have to be in an earthly marriage.
Aside from my friend in Georgia, I have met NO ONE ELSE who has seemed to understand. What a great blessing your post is!

Shulamite

 

[sweetMelody]

I feel this way at times. I love Jesus

 

[kisstheson]

"Let's just say that Jesus has given His heart to me so intimately that He has allowed me to feel this pain with Him."

That's what my art is all about. If I didn't experience this I would never be able to express what I do in my art...But I reallze I have yet to plunge the deeper depths of Jesus. We shall be always going deeper and deeper.

 

[kisstheson]

I feel this way at times. I love Jesus

He loves you too!

 

[Shulamite]

Hi Amy,

Yes, your art work does depict the very intimate romance that takes place between us individually and Yeshua. Boy does it ever. Whenever I see your art, I feel His heart respond inside me. He confirms within in me that your art reflects Him and the marriage we have with Him!!

I am sorry if I came across as if "no one else understands", but I guess I was referring to the private cross and personal thorn that I feel having to deal with BOTH an earthly marriage and my marriage to Yeshua. The pain that is involved is unbearable without His help and His strength living in me, causing me to endure. I envy those who are single in this life, not having to have another soul come after them in this way and being totally free to be married to Yeshua and not experience this pain.
I am wearing my heart on my sleeve to say this blush

Love you!
Shuli

p.s... is there a way you can let me know how much you are asking for your 20 page book entitled, "Romanced by Jesus"? I have your CD (which I love) and am wondering how much the book is? I'd love to have a copy and display it in my formal living room!

 

[kisstheson]

shuli,

I truly got the part about your cross...

I just meant experencing the suffering and longing of Jesus in general.

the book is 25.00 ply 5 shipping and handling.

There's poetry and short stories that are not on the CD and lots of art.

 

[MoNiCa4316]

I think I have experienced this...but why does it bring pain???????

Jesus himself suffered so much pain, emotional and physical.

Maybe we are meant to suffer emotional pain too....that is what I think. maybe I am wrong but that is what my experience says. It is the fellowship of sharing in His Sufferings.

it is a very blessed thing to share in Christ's sufferings
and when we understand His pain, this is a gift from Him.

 

[MoNiCa4316]

I think I understand a bit of what you are all talking about... I'm not married, so I don't know entirely.. but I know the feeling of just wanting to be with Jesus and no one else. I've been reading some books written by Saints who were nuns, who considered Jesus as their Spouse.. and I think if someone has a calling like this, it must be painful to be in a marriage. it must indeed be a cross to carry. I just wanted to say that ..Jesus really longs to be with us too, and if you carry such crosses, you are sharing in His suffering and carrying His Cross with Him. Although this is very painful, it is also a blessing in a way, because He said, if we share in His suffering we will also share in His glory.
God bless.

 

[kisstheson]

That was beautiful monica.

 

[Shulamite]

I think I understand a bit of what you are all talking about... I'm not married, so I don't know entirely.. but I know the feeling of just wanting to be with Jesus and no one else. I've been reading some books written by Saints who were nuns, who considered Jesus as their Spouse.. and I think if someone has a calling like this, it must be painful to be in a marriage. it must indeed be a cross to carry. I just wanted to say that ..Jesus really longs to be with us too, and if you carry such crosses, you are sharing in His suffering and carrying His Cross with Him. Although this is very painful, it is also a blessing in a way, because He said, if we share in His suffering we will also share in His glory.
God bless.

What you just said just blessed me beyond words. I feel tears coming on.
It is definitely painful and it's a beautiful cross to carry with Him. That He would even allow me to feel this with Him is beyond my comprehension. What you said ministered to me deeply......

 

[Amylisa]

Like you said Monica, it is a blessing because it is allowed by Him, we suffer for His own will in us. There is always reward for that. And HE HIMSELF is THE Reward!!!!!!

I don't understand why Jesus allows the pain that He allows. But it purifies us I believe. Part of a song I wrote says,
He is calling us home
Making us stronger
And this pain in our hearts, it purifies....

That pain burns away the foolishness that is in the human heart, it burns away the desires for things of this earth that are passing away. It burns away pride and trust in ourselves. Whether married or single in this life, we are each where Jesus has chosen to place us and He knows what He is doing, He knows what is needed for each of us to be prepared to spend forever with Him. He said so clearly to me once, "I am Lord of ALL, Amy." Not only of all people, but ALL things in our lives. He knows what He is doing in each of us.

All we can do is pray for God to enable us to be faithful to what He calls us to, and to make us worthy brides for His Son!!! And He will!!! Alleluia!!

 

[Amylisa]

I think I have experienced this...but why does it bring pain???????

Jesus himself suffered so much pain, emotional and physical.

Maybe we are meant to suffer emotional pain too....that is what I think. maybe I am wrong but that is what my experience says. It is the fellowship of sharing in His Sufferings.

There is a sentence from the OP here that helped me so much in that pain...D. Wilkerson said something like, this longing is wonderful "but it is also painful, because we cannot yet come into the fullness of what awaits us." I thought I was weird for feeling pain in loving Him until I read that.

We can't yet be with Jesus in all of His fullness, which is what we long for. It's just like if you had to be apart from someone you love on earth, you miss them and even though you can maybe talk to them (by phone, by letters) you can't be with them where they are. And your heart aches for their presence, not just their voice.

It does help when you find out other people feel that way, doesn't it!

 

[MyLordIsMyLife]

dear family I love all your posts! they're so beautiful!
so much love for Jesus.

Shulamite, dear sis, you answered my questions perfectly- thank you!

I never knew you had such a cross to carry in your love for our Lord! but He is blessing you well so you can carry it with Him. I pray your love grows forever.

Love,
Jonathan

happily yours in Christ

 

[MoNiCa4316]

What you just said just blessed me beyond words. I feel tears coming on.
It is definitely painful and it's a beautiful cross to carry with Him. That He would even allow me to feel this with Him is beyond my comprehension. What you said ministered to me deeply......

 

[kisstheson]

There is a sentence from the OP here that helped me so much in that pain...D. Wilkerson said something like, this longing is wonderful "but it is also painful, because we cannot yet come into the fullness of what awaits us." I thought I was weird for feeling pain in loving Him until I read that.

We can't yet be with Jesus in all of His fullness, which is what we long for. It's just like if you had to be apart from someone you love on earth, you miss them and even though you can maybe talk to them (by phone, by letters) you can't be with them where they are. And your heart aches for their presence, not just their voice.

It does help when you find out other people feel that way, doesn't it!

yeshi....