As anyone ever found that....

[melvaughn]

When ever you mention you are waiting until marriage, people seem to attack you. Whenever I post anything on a general discussion board with a comment on waiting for marriage, everyone will go crazy on me. I'll get bombarded with bitter replys, like "good like with that" and "you'll be divorced in a year when you realize you arn't compatible, etc..." It annoys me, that people seem threatened with you deviate in anyway from the norm. I find it curious, that something as simple as stating, that I'm waiting for marriage, will cause the negative reaction it does!!!! (and it happens almost all the time to me)

 

[Saucy]

Don't listen to them! It's satan. He'll do whatever it takes to temp you into having sex before marriage, including getting people to say, "Hey, it's okay." It's really not okay. I'm glad you're sticking to your guns!

 

[ascribe2thelord]

When ever you mention you are waiting until marriage, people seem to attack you. Whenever I post anything on a general discussion board with a comment on waiting for marriage, everyone will go crazy on me. I'll get bombarded with bitter replys, like "good like with that" and "you'll be divorced in a year when you realize you arn't compatible, etc..." It annoys me, that people seem threatened with you deviate in anyway from the norm. I find it curious, that something as simple as stating, that I'm waiting for marriage, will cause the negative reaction it does!!!! (and it happens almost all the time to me)

I know what you're going through. My friends think I'm nuts expecting to marry a complete virgin. And for saving my sexuality for marriage, as much as I have left. I'd say more than "good luck with that" - you go! Not many women are strong enough to resist the feeling that some guy wants you to do something sexual with them so that you can keep him.

I mean, that's the reason I ended up going as far as I did. It annoys me that women think they have to please.

 

[PetraFan007]

Well they are probably just jealous. I probably would be too if I wasn't a virgin. They regret thier mistake. Ah well, just ignore 'em lol.

 

[CowboyDan]

Well, I congratulate and support you for wanting to wait until marriage. Even if its difficult, ask the Almighty for help/guidance. Keep up the good work!

-CowboyDan

 

[The Julikenz]

I know what you're going through. My friends think I'm nuts expecting to marry a complete virgin. And for saving my sexuality for marriage, as much as I have left. I'd say more than "good luck with that" - you go! Not many women are strong enough to resist the feeling that some guy wants you to do something sexual with them so that you can keep him.

I mean, that's the reason I ended up going as far as I did. It annoys me that women think they have to please.

I would just hope you would look for a virgin with the same grace-filled eyes that Jesus looked to you with. If you're looking to marry a virgin, for her virginity - don't assume you're nesecarily going to marry a totally righteous woman... sexual pasts don't make someone righteous/unrighteous. We've all fallen short, and if we've broken one command, we've broken them all. God sees liars the same as He does fornicators. Do you require a woman who's never lied? Some of the most virtuous women i know are not virgins, but they maintain and pursue purity to the Lord.

I don't question the fact you're looking for a virgin to marry, but i wanted to just add that when we search for marriage partners, we shouldn't be unrealistic in our expectations - even if she hasn't engaged in sexual intercourse with another man, i'd like to meet a woman who's never looked at a man with lust in her heart. God bless you, may the Lord lead you to the woman He has planned for you, i pray she waits for you, but i also pray there be forgiveness and grace to cover anything in either of your hearts or pasts.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

Don't listen to them! It's satan. He'll do whatever it takes to temp you into having sex before marriage, including getting people to say, "Hey, it's okay." It's really not okay. I'm glad you're sticking to your guns!

I have a friend who got into sexual immorality and because she claimed to be a Christian I avoid her now (1 Corinthians 5) hoping that God will save her on the last day ... I still pray for her but she is so bitter from losing her virginity (multiple times might I say) that she did everything short of cussing at me when I told her that I still was trying to save my sexuality for marriage.

 

[melvaughn]

Thanks for the comments. I've mostly been talking on non-christian/general boards about love and relationships, and it's quite eye-opening how many of these guys really think. Although I'm a Christian, I'm currently not in a church or in any christian circle whatsoever. And it really does get overwhelming to be told on a daily basis that what you're doing is crazy. I've had men on these forums, actually state that the more men the women have slept with the better, because the sex life/marriage will be more fulfilling. And that they could never be with a women who equates sex as a gift. They have all kinds of crazy rationalizations where they think marrying a virgin, equals frigid with no sex life, and they refuse to believe anything else....

 

[thenewageriseth]

When ever you mention you are waiting until marriage, people seem to attack you. Whenever I post anything on a general discussion board with a comment on waiting for marriage, everyone will go crazy on me. I'll get bombarded with bitter replys, like "good like with that" and "you'll be divorced in a year when you realize you arn't compatible, etc..." It annoys me, that people seem threatened with you deviate in anyway from the norm. I find it curious, that something as simple as stating, that I'm waiting for marriage, will cause the negative reaction it does!!!! (and it happens almost all the time to me)

That's whack. You definitely should wait. I was reading this little booklet called "7 Sins about Sex"

Here are the seven lies mentioned:

Lie#1 Sex creates intimacy
Lie#2 Starting sex early in a relationship will help you get to know one another and enhance your relationship later.
Lie#3 Sex without long-term commitment is fun and freeing.
Lie#4 If you aren't sexually active, you must be repressed, sick or a prude.
Lie#5 Sex is freedom.
Lie#6 Surely God understands that this is the twentieth century! How can he say that sex outside of marriage is still wrong?
and lastly...
Lie#7 You can't prove that waiting is best, Maybe it really isn't worth it to wait. Maybe it's best to take what I can while I can.

 

[NewCovenant]

I think that waiting until marriage is not only the correct, appropriate, Christian, intelligent, and safe thing to do, I think it is an incredibly noble thing to do. Sex is cheap in our society. Waiting for marriage will not only help you to respect yourself and your partner, but to cherish each other. Marital love, when held in high esteem this way, given as this beautiful wedding gift, treasured above diamonds, will be highly valued throughout your marriage. It will knit you together as God intended it to, as one flesh, and your love for each other will be stronger.

 

[melvaughn]

I think that waiting until marriage is not only the correct, appropriate, Christian, intelligent, and safe thing to do, I think it is an incredibly noble thing to do. Sex is cheap in our society. Waiting for marriage will not only help you to respect yourself and your partner, but to cherish each other. Marital love, when held in high esteem this way, given as this beautiful wedding gift, treasured above diamonds, will be highly valued throughout your marriage. It will knit you together as God intended it to, as one flesh, and your love for each other will be stronger.

I completly agree. Too bad others (who sleep around) don't want to hear that. I've been 'open' on other general discussion boards about this and it makes people really defensive and angrey. I've heard every excuse now in the book, that it's amazing I still want to wait. I posted I was waiting on mostly a non-christian men's discussion board for sheer curiosity and it was amazing. They all told me that a man(and they thought they were speaking for all men) could only fall in love if they were first having sex with a women, since sex is what cements the relationship. (at least 20 of them said that) And that anyone who waits is being manuipulative and it will ruin a relationship and the guy will get bored and so on and so on. I also got a lot of negative comments from women as if they were trying to make me feel bad and change my mind...(It didn't work) I'm sure if I made a comment that I 'slept around' it would get no reaction! I think this is proof that you are doing something right because it holds a kind of power.

 

[Padon]

If people were not to have sex outside marriage sexually transmitted diseases would not exist, the number of those dying from sexually transmitted diseases would be nil, the number of abortions (if available only where the life of the mother is in danger) would be close to zero, those suffering many years later from feelings of guilt at having had sex before marriage would be zero, the number of children brought up without the economic, developmental and social advantages of two parents would be nil .......

The list goes on. The editors of girls magazines that suggest sexual positions for twelve year olds fail to tell you the harrowing stories of pain at loss of virginity, abortion, and disease. Whilst some may find it difficult to wait, many of those who have not (who have not yet become infertile, died, or burdened with guilt) can tell you that it is very definitely worth waiting. Please do not listen to the 'world' on this matter; it has absolutely nothing to offer our young people.

 

[CamaroZ28Dude]

Yes, be prepared to be outright attacked if you mention that you are waiting until marriage. Happens to me at work everytime the subject is brought up. However I've found that usually the attackers are actually mad at themselves and just directing their anger towards you. Most people who have lost their virginity really wish they had it back. Attacking you is just their way of trying to justify their behavior.

 

[Latee]

Do not listen to them! Unfortunately I lost my virginity too early, I wish I'd waited till I was married, but now it's too late.. Please, do not be afraid to tell people just because they might attack you, we need more people just like you!

 

[Brother_Justin]

Everything that is said that is contradictory to what you believe should not ALWAYS get a huge satan stamp put on it.

secondly avoiding somone because they have sex is not only un christian but very rude and mean. We all have sin and we all must live with that. It is the job of faithfull people of Christ to help others even when they are caught up in sin. We all sin and we all dont avoid each other do we? No matter how much somone scorns me or cusses me out or says things I dont like i continue to show them love. Do not avoid these people. I myself am not a virgin and I do not feel bad about it because Jesus has forgiven me for that sin. Should I be avoided? Surely not.

I would also like to say that your commitment to wait till marriage is to be praised. No one should scorn you for your decision. Do what you need to do to be faithfull! Turn the other cheek when somone attacks your ethics ! They hate when you do that.

Lastly I would like to say that i do not believe marriage is a peice of paper that the state gives me telling me Im married. The state and the church are two different realms and two different entitys. Marriage is the commune between two loving people in the eyes of God. This commune of course shouldnt be abused and shouldnt be taken litely. It is a life long decision to live with one another faithfully with God as the third. Thus I myself would not scorn two people who love God have had a loving relationship and are in constant commune with the Lord and who sleep together. God's eyes sees things ours dont and I would urge you to take that into mind. Also this kind of commune is something that is earned over years of prayer and walking together with God. I do not take sex litely Im not trying to say that at all.

Surely your decision to wait for the state to say your married is wonderful ! That is great and I give you praise for that. I myself am now waiting as well. I do not want to make a mistake twice ! God bless you for your faith and God bless you for doing what is faithful to Jesus!


Love brother ~Justin~ <><