arguing with my brother

[KisKatte]

deleted

 

[ArmyMatt]

Lord have mercy! have you spoken to your priest?

 

[Servus]

I'd say snce it's your mother's dog, it's up to her as to how the dog should be groomed.

 

[A_Thinker]

Halo,

what does God want to tell me? On Friday my brother attacked me psychically because I cut the hair of our dog (we share the dog in the family, she belongs to my mother) and he did not like this chaotic hairstyle. (In the first two years she always looked like this and she was the superstar in the metro/subway train). I explained to him I did not know that he does not like short hair around mouth/nose and that next time I can cut less hair longitude. But he insited he wants me to promise that I never cut ever again. I could not promise because the hair around the mouth was dirty and too long. He texted me on signal (= whatsapp/telegramm) for hours late in the evening and called in the night. He said he has no mood to take the dog with him because of her look! And so on. He said if I ever cut her again he will not take her anymore. He stressed me and I could not sleep the whole night, could not paint, next day I was tired and had to help my ill mother (what my brother does not do) and so on. I was so angry with him that I insulted him in the end. On sunday I took communion and was peacefull and than i wrote to my brother and apologized for insulting him and said he was to aggressive with me and that he has not to treat me like this. But than the anger against my brother came again. After writing him and remembering him in my mind. What Does God want to tell me by this??? I do not understand why the peace was gone during apologizing....

Here are the fotos before and after .

Your brother is obsessing. Allow him to get over it.

My dog changes looks when she gets her hair cut also. It's part of what comes with pet care.

You have done everything you need to do ... and have behaved exactly as a christian ought.

 

[KisKatte]

Thank you all. @ArmyMatt I did not talk to my priest about it yet. Du you have a clue? I guess I have some sort of trauma from this arguing and that is why the anger comes back (In the end I promised to my brother I will not cut her hair anymore because he is afraid it will look bad and he promised he will try to bring her to hairstylist oftener, so the hair on the mouth will not be too long). My question is simply why is the anger coming back again and again while remembering him? Am I unable to forgive him? Is that the clue? I am very sensible and he behaved "aggressive" some sort of.

 

[KisKatte]

I'd say snce it's your mother's dog, it's up to her as to how the dog should be groomed.

Allthough my mother always styled the dog herself in the first two years and it looked similar she told me that she alsow thinks it looks awful. So she said I should ask her before doing this.

 

[A_Thinker]

Allthough my mother always styled the dog herself in the first two years and it looked similar she told me that she alsow thinks it looks awful. So she said I should ask her before doing this.

You all seem to be very invested in how the dog looks ... which is not unreasonable really.

You all just need to work together better.

You seem to be taking the right approach.

Don't worry ... the anger will fade.

Let me tell you of something that happened to me ...

I am a plant lover ... and my church has (2) plots of open soil in its vestibule. Now, originally, these areas were filled in with an ivy that didn't grow too much and looked pretty good.

At some point, ... some group in the church decided to pull up the grape ivy, ... but didn't really have a good plan to replace it. So, we just had (2) areas of dirt on either sides of the vestibule.

About 3 years ago, I was asked to place some plants in these spaces ... and so I did. I put in some type of ivy. Over the 3 past years, the ivy really grew. It was growing up the walls. I was partial to its growth ... because I saw it as a sign of life in the church. However, unbeknownst to me, my cousin (also a member of the church) didn't feel this way.

So, one Sunday morning ... about a month ago, while I was ministering to the church in song, ... I saw my cousin chopping down the ivy. By the time my song was done, ... she had cut it all down and put it in plastic bags to discard. It turns that she had no authority to do what she did ... and just acted on her own.

I was quite angry ... so angry that I couldn't even look at the devastation she had left, and just needed to get out of there.

A couple days later, I told my wife about what had happened ... turns out, she hadn't even noticed. But I prayed about the situation, because, ... even though I thought that my cousin was wrong to do what she did, ... I did not want to injure our previously good relationship. And in a couple days, ... I felt better about it. I still don't like the result (a mess of cut and broken vines), ... but I'm not angry about it anymore.

I say all of this to say ... different people (even christians) will often feel differently about certain (pretty insignificant) issues. But we have to reign in our desire sometimes in expressing our unhappiness or anger, in order to preserve the (more significant) relationships. That's what God would want for members of His family.

I hope this helps ... God bless ...

 

[ArmyMatt]

Thank you all. @ArmyMatt I did not talk to my priest about it yet. Du you have a clue? I guess I have some sort of trauma from this arguing and that is why the anger comes back (In the end I promised to my brother I will not cut her hair anymore because he is afraid it will look bad and he promised he will try to bring her to hairstylist oftener, so the hair on the mouth will not be too long). My question is simply why is the anger coming back again and again while remembering him? Am I unable to forgive him? Is that the clue? I am very sensible and he behaved "aggressive" some sort of.

it is a clue, but I say talk to your priest since he knows you best and can help you best.

 

[KisKatte]

You all seem to be very invested in how the dog looks ... which is not unreasonable really.

I do absolutely not care how the dog looks. It is too superficial for me. I just cut the hair it was dirty because it was too long. I did not know my brother thinks it looks ugly and that this destroys his mood to take the dog. I believé him being a bit superficial in that case. I just want the dog not to suffer. It is his behaviour that "kills" me. But I understand what you want to say. Thanks

 

[buzuxi02]

Don't let it bother you. Hopefully your already over it.... And your brother as well