Arguing & Debating

[LadyOfMystery]

So a friend and I were talking about this a few days ago and I thought I'd bring this to y'all for more input. We're pretty opposite on our opinions. My friend loves arguing actually. Loves proving their point, no matter how ridiculous they look during the process. Also, loves being sarcastic during because it makes them feel like they'll make the other person loose their train of thought and start going down a different road, therefore winning.
I on the other hand, am not fond of arguing, or debating. I like to put my point out there, and if you agree with it great, and if you don't, it's not my problem. lol I won't let people walk over me but I stick to the point of the debate or even arguement if it's something of a personal matter (between a friend, or family member or what have you). So here's my questions to you:

Do you like arguing with people? Like you know they're wrong, so therefore you're going to tell them that they are, and it'll end up in an argument and you both get mad.

Do you like debating? Where it's a casual back and forth of what you both believe to be true, but you don't get upset during the process because you both realize you're not going to come out any differently than before.


Or do you try to smooth things over before things get heavy? What about debates do you just avoid them? Hold your ground on your point of view?


Discuss!

 

[Andrew12]

Depends on the issue. I dont enjoy arguig, but I will if necessary. (here arguing denotes a debate for NON academic purposes)



Debates are fun if their are done intelligently, I can zing my opponents well.




I can't speak for my opponent, but I do not get mad easily, thus it proves one of my strengths.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Debating is OK, as long as it is done respectfully. Arguing = FAIL in my book. TBH, when I come across people who use sarcasm or put downs as part of their tactic for debating/arguing an issue, it just makes me think they're insecure or arrogant...or both. It makes me think they lack class or tact or both, too.

For some people, it's more about winning than actual intelligent discussion or being open to another POV. Those are the people I tend to avoid. I don't need to win or be right, but I'm not going to allow myself be trampled on, either.

 

[Luther073082]

Essentially the difference between a debate and an argument is how respectful you are and if there is anger involved.

Things turn into arguments when people get angry and/or disrespectful.

Debates avoid those things and concentrate more on facts.

Debates are useful for building up the church, the world, and eachother, as we learn that way, perhaps change our opinions that way etc.

Argueing is not useful. It only destroys and creates conflict.

 

[justaguy78]

Not a big fan of either arguing or debating. I'd probably be a good debater given I'm quite analytical although I do admit I get a bit frustrated if the person I am talking to is saying stuff that is beyond being ridiculous.

 

[crishmael]

I used to like arguing more than debating, but I'm trying to shy away from trying to debate with arguers. I have no interest in wasting my time with belligerent people who have no real interest other than proving my wrongness.

 

[Luther073082]

Not a big fan of either arguing or debating. I'd probably be a good debater given I'm quite analytical although I do admit I get a bit frustrated if the person I am talking to is saying stuff that is beyond being ridiculous.

Ridiculous is something that is very subjective and depends strongly on one's culture and background. (Among many things)

So its not in good form typically to judge something as ridiculous without considering its merit based on facts.

Now if something doesn't have any sort of merit in reality, then its sometimes useless to debate with that person. I tend to try to give everything the benefit of the doubt and try to be analytical about it all.

Mostly because all of us, certainly I do have beliefs that others would consider to be ridiculous. In fact a lot of people consider any view that is not the same or similar to theirs to be ridiculous.

 

[Qyöt27]

I used to like arguing more than debating, but I'm trying to shy away from trying to debate with arguers. I have no interest in wasting my time with belligerent people who have no real interest other than proving my wrongness.

This. That belligerence often goes hand in hand with ignoring the standard rules of debate: civility and making sure that your points are logically sound and have external authority beyond a 'I said it; that makes it true' stance. You can't just make up something and then expect others to operate from that position; that's a logical fallacy in itself.


I have a personality that gets tense around those like I described, and if I find myself in a situation where that's how the thread has turned, I'm torn over continuing to rebut and just walking away - especially as the latter option, while better for my own piece of mind, will inevitably result in the other person getting smug and continuing to assert that they've won the argument because I just couldn't put up with their crap anymore and left.

 

[MacFall]

I don't enjoy arguing, but I will address an idea that I see as destructive. Although I dislike conflict, I prefer to engage in conflict against destructive ideas than to let those ideas go unchallenged.

 

[Aino]

Ridiculous is something that is very subjective and depends strongly on one's culture and background. (Among many things)

So its not in good form typically to judge something as ridiculous without considering its merit based on facts.

Now if something doesn't have any sort of merit in reality, then its sometimes useless to debate with that person. I tend to try to give everything the benefit of the doubt and try to be analytical about it all.

Mostly because all of us, certainly I do have beliefs that others would consider to be ridiculous. In fact a lot of people consider any view that is not the same or similar to theirs to be ridiculous.

Yes, I think the "You can either be stupid or agree with me" attitude won't bring anyone anywhere here... You'd see it quite often though, especially when people don't really have anything to back up their opinions.

That's one of the reasons I try to avoid debating and arguments; I do dislike being disregarded. And on another note, I cannot really say I were really all that educated about most issues myself so if I'd want to practice what I preach I'd actually need to hold back from many arguments myself since I cannot have an educated opinion on it. [A good civil discussion is nice sometimes though, but I'm still not a huge fan.]

 

[Lena75]

I don't mind some debating but arguing is not really necessary. I have sils and bils who will argue with each other til they're blue in the face or someone leaves, kicking and screaming and moping the rest of the day. They insist that they HAVE to be right, even if they're not.
That's probably why my hubby hates to argue and he and I rarely ever do.

Besides, he knows I'm always right! (j/k!)

 

[Lord Herdsetk]

Generally I don't like giving my input in an argument because people tend to assume I disagree with them when I criticize their points, when in reality I'm just trying to show them how to better defend said points by pointing out the weaknesses in their argument.

I don't mind debates, but I tend to listen more than talk. I like finding out what other people think about certain subjects.

 

[Andres88]

I try not to engage in debates and those often childish and not profitable you-tell-me-and-I-tell-you. Working at risk management, I keep a balance between a risk-focused mentality and a business-focused mentality. Business managers and executives, on the other hand, often see those who work in risk management are close-minded who don't understand anything about business, when it's exactly the opposite. Sometimes I have to argue with certain people of the business side, yet I keep my cool, carefully explaining them everything related to the specific case, so that we can negotiate and come to a point that is beneficial us both.

In my personal life, on the other hand, while I don't like engaging in arguments, a lot of times I have to do it. Mainly because I spent a lot of time reading about so many different things, and thus have more knowledge of them than the people who surround me. So when it comes to a point where they state something that is not true, I have to take a stand and defend the right thing. It's often rejected, even at church, which is sad, but I know that I have the truth, so I don't force it anymore. I try to teach them; if they refuse, then I leave them and assume Hosea 4:17's position: "Ephraim is joined to idols; leave him alone!"

 

[FaithPrevails]

I just read this and thought it was so true...and it probably most accurately reflects how I feel about the topic of arguing/debating:

"People will not bear it when advice is violently given, even if it is well founded. Hearts are flowers; they remain open to the softly falling dew, but shut up in the violent downpour of rain."
-- John Paul Richter ​

 

[contango]

Do you like arguing with people? Like you know they're wrong, so therefore you're going to tell them that they are, and it'll end up in an argument and you both get mad.

Do you like debating? Where it's a casual back and forth of what you both believe to be true, but you don't get upset during the process because you both realize you're not going to come out any differently than before.

Arguing is rarely productive and in my experience usually boils down to little more than both sides stating and restating their positions. If I'm convinced I'm right and the other guy is convinced he's right there's no point continuing.

Debating can be an interesting exercise, especially if I'm putting forward a view that is either not one I personally hold or is a more extreme version of one I hold. Arguing in support of a viewpoint opposed to my own can be an interesting exercise, not least because it forces me to consider the perspective of the people who do hold that viewpoint. Likewise if I'm taking a view I do hold and presenting a more extreme version of it, that forces me to look at where dividing lines are drawn and "how much" of a view I'm comfortable with for real.

 

[Ayersy]

I enjoy arguing and debating, so long as it's about something worthwhile. I have to prove I'm right. If I know I'm right about something, I have to show other people are wrong. I'm often sarcastic or brutal in doing this, but I don't do it to intentionally upset people, it's just necessary sometimes.

 

[If Not For Grace]

I like a good healthy debate-but if it gets nasty-I usually end it by saying something like "You may be right, I'll have to think about that" or something I learned from my Late husband "everwhatyousay" (Southern & all one word was the idea in case Zooma is lurking) or "well I never knew that" or "Well now, I've learned something".

...BUT I said usually not always....

 

[FaithPrevails]

I usually end it by saying, "you're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine".

 

[ImperialPhantom]

I have a coworker like this. He loves arguing and he's wrong 99 percent of the time. He never lets it go and he is usually the first one to take it personally. The best you can do is just ignore them and let them carry on.