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Cjwinnit

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Quick story for you guys.

I was walking home from church a few months ago and noticed two people (we will call R and D) behind me. I got to the door, R initiated a conversation before I opened it, and we were introduced. It turns out that D lives a few doors down on the same street. Both are choir members and have known each other for half a year. R is 17, funny, smart, has a great voice (I'm a baritone/tenor but i'm not in the choir, she's a soprano) and I think I like her.

There could be a few glitches though. First off, she's "not religious". The reason she goes to church is: 1/ her grandmother, who she lives with drags her along 2/ she enjoys the choir. Second, she's a little bit lassaiz-faire about relationships (she's had 6 partners). My guess is if she wants to go out she might want more out of the relationship and quicker. It's also complicated by the fact that we both go to the same church and I know I've been noticed, so I'm being watched, although her grandmother likes me and wants us to go out but I don't know if she knows what her grandaughter gets up to..

The annoying thing is I'm getting what I think are mixed messages. When R and I (I as in me) were walking around town a month ago she mentioned her gran wants us to go out then semi-dismissed her gran's idea, which could be a bad sign. She also mentions she fancies a bunch of guys. I'm not sure if that's a challenge (like a girly "oh look i like some guys you had better make your mind up") or a message not to try anything.

On the other hand, after the morning palm sunday service we spent most of sunday between 11am and 5pm together. Walked around town, then went back to church mid-afternoon and messed about there talking in the hall, basically alone, for an hour (the choir had a performance at 6pm). We had a ball, at least she laughs at my jokes. She was also quite flirty, but maybe she does that with everyone when they are alone..

I have an "interesting" quirk in that I tend to mess up my friendships with women by either being a total idiot (one of my many major flaws is that talking too much is my defence mechanism) and saying something totally inappropriate or by acting as a kind, nerdy older-brother type (I have 4 sisters, all younger, dad left, no other guy in the house, just me) rather than prospective boyfriend material (and, having been to a boy's school, I have no idea how to act around non-related women). I'm kinda worried about how I act as well. A few of my sisters, female friends and my mum think i'm gay (I'm not) 'cos of the way I act (brotherly around women, english-public-schoolboy chummy around guys) and the fact they have never seen a girlfriend of mine. If R thinks that then basically that's the end of any hope of anything more than a friendship.

Help!!....
 

FaithfulServant

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Her being "not religious" is more than just a few glitches. Its a Big DONT DATE ME sign painted on her forehead. By all means, be her friend and perhaps you can influence her towards the Lord through a great friendship - but don't date her if she is unsaved and/or not growing in her relationship with the Lord.
 
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wildthing

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6 partners that's big warn flasher. Are we talking about ^ guys that really got to know her or what? The other thing is and I am in total agreement with FaithfulServant is the not religious part. That could/would lead you to some place that you would not want to go.

Last point of this boring post. Trust and take it before God. Pray earnistly about it.
If you have close friends have them pray with you and for you.
 
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JPPT1974

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It is leading that person to the Lord that's more important. But if you want to do so, do so in the right way. The Lord's way and that the Lord's timing and will is always right. And that your friends and you can pray for one another as well as make sure that with your attitude and actions that non-Christian can become saved.
 
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Cjwinnit

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I've been thinking that but have been trying to dismiss it, I suppose it's a case of ignoring the truth when you don't like what you are hearing (2 Timothy?) . Plus, having never really had a long-term girlfriend, it's a real temptation. I guess I gotta keep praying for guidance....

Thanks guys.
 
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justasinner

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It sound to me that this girl may be either a Test for you or God has placed her in your path so you may help her see the light of God.

As a Test, God is checking to see if you strong enough to deny Lust and stay strong for Love.

Now since you say she is "not religious" this may say to some to stay away. But I look upon it as a request from God for you to help this girl become a True believer or help her get around the problem that is slowing her growth in the faith.

Also, this girl may have told you she dismissed her grandmother concept of you dating her and that she is interested in other is to protect herself and to let you of the hook, so to speak.
FaithfulServant said:
By all means, be her friend and perhaps you can influence her towards the Lord through a great friendship - but don't date her if she is unsaved and/or not growing in her relationship with the Lord
I agree with "FaithfulServant" on being friends but disagree about dating. In dating this girl, God could show you how commited you are to God and his laws.

And has for messing things up, that decreases with dating experience. And unless you date you will be limited in the number of experiences you have to learn from.


Now, the ball is in your court. You need to decide what you want.
 
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JPPT1974

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We should all be friends regardless of our opinions and differences. But also it helps to have a friend who knows us really well to speak up and help us in choosing dates as well as hold us accountable and not to compromise God's plans for us.
 
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