Are the recently Christian un-date-able...for now?

[ThisIsMe123]

I've been going to some events with friends lately, not sure if anyone has heard of Meetup, although I come across single Christian women, that's great, but...some have a tendency to overshare. Some are even new in town and tend to share their trials and tribulations with people she just met.

They tend to oversaturate their social media feeds with Bible quotes. (A guy asked to add her on FB, and she said, "I hope you don't mind. I tend to post mostly Godly stuff there". Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I can't help but to think they could be overcompensating for something.

Some are recovered alcoholics and drug users. To me that's kind of a red flag because they could fall back into it and I can't relate as I've never been there. Some came from abusive ex's, so I could wind up dealing with a backlash of emotions there should they

Basically, it's a mine field out there for the recently found Christian singles.

I do sympathize, as most are new in town, starting over. One even said she had to live out of her car for a few weeks with her son. Not a pretty story, but I tend to wonder if I ever get caught up in that....should I be wary?

Basically, I want to ask, should I NOT try to date them at all? Should I get to know them? Or would these be red flags across the board

I mean, I've had my history, but not patting myself on the back, but I can't relate to some of these ladies. Maybe I'm lucky I dunno, as it seems every woman I come across has some kind of baggage. They lack emotional stability.I'm sure the men, the same way.

I dunno, should I try to date them or whatever?

I dunno, but it seems I need to kind of stick with the "Spiritual but not religious" types.

Of course, this can be the case of a pendulum as it swings both ways.

 

[com7fy8]

Some are recovered alcoholics and drug users. To me that's kind of a red flag because they could fall back into it and I can't relate as I've never been there.

Yes, people can go back to their drinking and drug abuse. But God is able to make us more and more stable against any and all of our different sorts of sin problems.

I would say let them have space to get involved with a church which is helping them, and you can share with them there in groups and worship, with others present and others loving them, also, and do not get isolated with any of them. But encourage them to learn how to share with you and all the others who are maturing Christians. And see if they grow in this and become able to help you to get more real with God and learn better how to love any and all people.

And if they have gotten away from substance abuse, now they . . . like you . . . need to get wise to all the other things which can be sin problems, and make sure your main attention is to how God wants us to become with Him and how to share as His family and all He desires to share with us > there is so much in God's word about this, for us to feed on, not only trying to deal with our problems and social lives.

You might see which ones of them are being mentored by mature Christians, and you can also share with these senior mature people who can help you, too

And, like I offer - - - do not get isolated with anyone. In case a lady tries to get involved with you, you might ask her about who is helping her and get her talking about how those people have helped her. And you can meet these ones and see how they minister to you. And introduce her to ones who have been good for you, so she can feed on how they are good for her. Get her into family sharing and caring. And it could be good to keep things this way, not letting yourself be pushed or hurried to dating and making any commitments to only one person.

I mean, I've had my history, but not patting myself on the back, but I can't relate to some of these ladies. Maybe I'm lucky I dunno, as it seems every woman I come across has some kind of baggage. They lack emotional stability.I'm sure the men, the same way.

I dunno, should I try to date them or whatever?

I would say be there for them, in prayer and example and encouragement; but I would not get alone dating. I think they need to share with different Christians of different backgrounds of culture and different past sin problems. And they need to become family with us Jesus people, not only cozy with ones like themselves. My opinion is that learning to become family in Jesus is part of the cure of any sin problem.

And again - - what I mean > make sure you are watching out for the more sneaky and accepted sorts of sin problems > like arguing and gossip and criticizing others instead of having compassion and hope for them. And unforgiveness is very destructive to the unforgiving person. And there is anger which is not right; so we do not need to adjust things to the demands of someone's selfish anger; learn not to be controlled by anyone's threats to get angry, or how they will be so hurt if you don't go along with what they want > love does not have us just using anyone!!

And we want God to personally guide us in His own peace > this is included in our basic Christian calling > Colossians 3:15. So, learning how to submit personally to God Himself is major. See if and how much they talk about this, and if they are helping you with this.

 

[Sketcher]

Since they are presumably honest about some very bad qualities, what good qualities do they have that legitimately outweigh them?

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Ideally you wouldn't date them, but if your options are such that these type of women happen to be your best option then it logically would make sense to date them.

 

[Sir Robbins]

old habits are more likely to reappear if you're an enabler. If someone came into my life having been an ex raver, drug user and lover of speed, I'd be in A LOT of trouble I'd think

 

[CodyFaith]

Paul didn't go back to persecuting the church did he?

All depends on the person, case by case basis. I wouldn't underestimate the immediate change Jesus can bring into someone's life.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

if these types of women aren't your only option and are not the type of women you're interested in than you should look elsewhere.

 

[Niels]

if these types of women aren't your only option and are not the type of women you're interested in than you should look elsewhere.

Or, if those are the only options, then maybe stop looking for a while. Without the right kind of person, someone who is compatible on a fundamental level, relationships aren't worth the hassle.