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Your focus is on the other person and HOW TO approach THEM. Chaz example is NOT TO approach THEM at all.
4. How brave are we? Do we have the courage to say what's true? Do we have the courage to hear things that may be uncomfortable? Do we have the courage to try when it seems emotionally dangerous to do it?
How can standard #4 be upheld if a spouse is expected to never approach the other?
I am not alone in the conclusion I have come to about what has been said. And I don't consider it an honest misunderstanding....it is great that you do, but I feel you intentionally create confusion in threads.The reason it seems like a tactic to me is that I cannot see how anyone who has been following what he's said all along can honestly come to the conclusion you did. But like I said, until proven otherwise I'll go with the idea that it's an honest misunderstanding.
You know...that is an excellent point. Why ARE you so invested in all this?Anyway....leave it.
Its silly that I try to tell someone else something like this anyway. Since my wife isnt on my back about stuff like this all the time, why in the world am I arguing about it here? Its not my problem.
Seriously, sorry to have engaged this for as long as I did.
That I will answer.
Because it is crushing the life out of marriages. Simple. And the approach you are taking is the way its taught, its conventional wisdom, in fact the solution is always the same , like a high school cheer
"do it again do it again, harder harder"
Hows that workin?
NOT
Thats why I get into it, but, I am trying to quit.
What is the "it" that is crushing the life out of marriages?Nevermind, I have no idea what appraoch you take.
As Cons?all about that stuff I had to say I said already and why? Why?
You seem to equate the marriage being below standard with the *failing* of a spouse. I have repeated MANY times the standard is not for the individuals but for the MARRIAGE. Having a set defense in opposition to that is going to make the standard set in #4 impossible. I believe all the standards McScribe laid out are excellent and need to be strived for.The obesession that some seem to have over the failings of their spouse.
You seem to equate the marriage being below standard with the *failing* of a spouse. I have repeated MANY times the standard is not for the individuals but for the MARRIAGE. Having a set defense in opposition to that is going to make the standard set in #4 impossible. I believe all the standards McScribe laid out are excellent and need to be strived for.
I've pretty much read through this thread and I am really lost as to the conversations going on, but that may be because I don't know the history of the long-time posters. I also can't quite grasp how the OP list are called standards. I also presume these standards are meant purely for Christian couples. They are good thoughts and represents good questions that any prospective married couple should consider. Any couple that cannot operate with trust, honesty and integrity with each other are likely going to be in for a rough patch.
Because of 1 and 5 is why I presumed it was geared specifically toward Christians. Of course all marriages need these things.Other than the first one and the mention of going to church as an example in the last one, what makes you think the standards are purely for Christian couples? Are they not things that any marriage needs?
If there were no standards or expectations for our spouse what would even be the point of getting married?
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