Are Mars and Venus Really that Different?

[Jo555]

Are Mars and Venus Really That Different?

Psalm 42:7-8

Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

Awhile back John Gray wrote a book that became a huge hit. Many of you probably remember it. The book entitled “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” held surprising new insights regarding the different languages men and women speak. I don’t recall all it contained and don’t believe I read the whole book, yet I did read a follow-up book by John entitled, “Mars and Venus on a Date”. My brother put it in my hands. Guess he thought I could use help in that department seeing I was somewhat clueless, and according to the book, seems bro was right. I was one of those rare Venetians that lived on Mars. That seemed to explain a good deal of things.

But enough about me, this all seems to be just another layer that springs from the deep. When it comes to the heart of things, are we all really that different?

As we peel back the layers that divide us, we will find at core there is a common language we all share. It is a bridge that holds no biases. No matter how different things may seem, this language crosses the boundaries of gender, race, cultural differences, social status, political affiliation, and dialects.

Additionally, it is known alike by the young and old, immature and mature, unlearned and learned. Those we have labeled as “mentally challenged and special needs” are fluent in it. Babies know it even before they learn to speak. It puts us all on the same playing field.

So what is this universal language we all share? The unspoken language of the heart. Like the wonderful colors of a rainbow, the language of the heart is expressed in a variety of emotions.

Sometimes we are blue with sorrow, sometimes we are red with passion and excitement. Other times we are pink with shyness as we blush.

This wonderful language that we share has been given to us by our Creator who openly expresses Himself through emotions. It all springs from his great love for us for God is love.

One cannot truly understand an emotion by being told about it or reading it. That is like standing in someone’s shadow. Unlike a script or mere words, emotions are alive. They are the expressions of the essence of a person, and they breath. If we are to move out of someone’s shadow and truly take hold of them, we need to enter into them. If we are to understand another and allow them to mold our lives, we need to experience them. We need to have an encounter with them. We need to dive into their hearts and swim in it. At the least we should know God like this, then allow him to connect us with others as He sees fit.

I may not agree with you regarding the dynamics of the surface details, but I have known joy and sorrow, love and hate. I have mourned and I have danced. I have laughed and I have cried. No matter how you spell it, pronounce it, or where it is derived from, pain is pain. What on surface manifests as differences can find common ground in the waters of the deep. We may not all agree on how to stamp out hunger, but we can all grieve for the devastation it brings.

Am I advocating that we build our own "Tower of Babel"; a bridge to life, one of our own uniting and making? God forbid. With that said, we can understand that this bridge helps to get beyond the differences between us, and close the gap that divides us, as we come to see ourselves in our fellowman. At core we are all broken and frail clay pots in need of the Potter's Touch.

Therefore I want to encourage all through those moments in life that appear to be shrouded in darkness, circumstances not lit in the Light of Christ. God has not left you, He's doing a deeper work in you, calling to you from your place at the surface and inviting you to his place in the deep. There you will find your comfort and home held inside his Heart.

This doesn't mean that we won't experience sorrow in our humanity in its present, fragile state. Although we can take comfort in knowing our Lord is not a foreigner to pain. He knows what it is like to be misunderstood, betrayed, rejected, and the recipient of unrequited love. Our Heavenly Father delights in sharing this intimate journey with us; to hold us close to his Heart as we share our true colors with Him, and in his wings of Love we will find shelter from the storm.

This is where Venus and Mars, and all of humanity in all its variety, were meant to find their commonality and home, in the Light of his Son. Jesus is our Advocate and the only Bridge into the Heart of God. He was made to be broken bread and poured out wine so that we can partake of his Life; to move from the shadows of darkness into his glorious, transforming Light and be swallowed up by Love.


Further reading: 2 Corinthians 3-4, 1 Corinthians 13,
https://www.christianforums.com/blogs/when-laughter-becomes-horrific.67324/edit

*And just felt the need to include that we are not to be yoked with the world, but we can still relate on the deeper level of one human being to another.

 

[dms1972]

I remember a church that I went to, a visiting Pastor came and gave a review of Men are from Mars and Women from Venus (it was a fellowship group, not as part of the worship service)

I looked at the book a few times I think in the bookshop, but never purchased.

I believe John Gray was writing in a popular manner for a mostly secular audience.


Some have since criticised his book for portraying too extreme a polarity between Men and Women. After all, whatever you say about the differences between men and women, both men and women share the same human nature, do they not? So I think its good that you are questioning John Gray's typology.




Before Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, there was some great reflections on the subject in a few other books. One was Karl Stern's book The Flight from Woman.

Stern's profound analysis looks at several thinker from previous centuries, from Rene Descartes through to John Paul Sartre.

Stern quote Helene Deutsch : " 'Woman' and 'Man' have at one time arisen out of a common origin which is still living on in the bisexual anlage (foundation) in all human beings. They have differentiated in the course of development without ever being completely separated from one another ... The quantity of contrasexual residuals differs with each person. In the psychic budget of the individual the two components, male and female, must be linked in harmony" Lack of integration, unbalance of the two principles leads to a "troubled destiny".

Amongst other writers who have explored the nature of gender, CS Lewis is another who stands out. You can find these explorations in his Ransom Trilogy (Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, That Hideous Strength)

Pastorally, Leanne Payne has also written on this in several of her books including The Broken Image and Crisis in Masculinity

These authors would be a better place to start for christians than John Gray in my view.

 

[Jo555]

Thank you for your input. The gray books were a smaller reference to humanity on a larger scale. Whether that be in gender, religion, social statues, etc.

I didn't read all of his original book, but on the dating one. I found it beneficial in the sense that I was fiercely independent, and still am. According to Gray, men want to feel that they are needed and can be a sort of hero to a woman. He would consider me a woman that lived on Mars in that respect.

I've seen the shift in society though. In fact, sometimes it appears that men want women to take care of them. Call me old fashion, but i don't mind taking care of myself, but draw the line with taking care of a man, unless there is a valid reason like health issues or just giving him a break from that role.

Other women may be fine doing otherwise, just my preference, and I'll do the cooking, etc. I'm a great cook.

 

[Jo555]

Thank you for your input. The gray books were a smaller reference to humanity on a larger scale. Whether that be in gender, religion, social statues, etc.

I didn't read all of his original book, but on the dating one. I found it beneficial in the sense that I was fiercely independent, and still am. According to Gray, men want to feel that they are needed and can be a sort of hero to a woman. He would consider me a woman that lived on Mars in that respect.

I've seen the shift in society though. In fact, sometimes it appears that men want women to take care of them. Call me old fashion, but i don't mind taking care of myself, but draw the line with taking care of a man, unless there is a valid reason like health issues or just giving him a break from that role.

Other women may be fine doing otherwise, just my preference, and I'll do the cooking, etc. I'm a great cook.

I actually decided to let men do more for me after reading the book, and it helped back then, but I never gave up my independence. Had this fear of giving control of my life to another human being.

 

[Aaron112]

Things , books, thoughts, writings, philosophies
that are
of human origin are not to be trusted nor worshiped nor followed.

Scripture is truth, and is enough, sufficient, a light of salvation in this human world of darkness.
And Scripture warns clearly
to avoid human philosophies and stuff like that.

 

[Jo555]

Things , books, thoughts, writings, philosophies
that are
of human origin are not to be trusted nor worshiped nor followed.

Scripture is truth, and is enough, sufficient, a light of salvation in this human world of darkness.
And Scripture warns clearly
to avoid human philosophies and stuff like that.

Aaron, thanks for sharing. I don't look to follow these things, but i do believe that some can have valuable information regarding human behavior, as long as we don't let go of what the Lord says about those things in the process.

But thank you for your concern for my welfare. I trust He is more than capable of leading me into all truth. But if you are not comfortable with doing same regarding those things, it may be a sensitive conscience or you are not strong enough in your intimate knowledge of Him so don't follow me, follow his direction in your life, but do ensure it is his direction, as well as you can.